


Beyond the Ever After

by exDerelict



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Drama, F/F, Romance, Sister/Sister Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:24:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 51,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1228018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exDerelict/pseuds/exDerelict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the real love story comes after the Ever After: Rumors are flying in the kingdom of Arendelle when a new child is born into the royal family. Soon repressed feelings begin to unravel between Elsa and Anna as their forbidden story unfolds between the past and present, further complicated by their tangled relationships. (Expect many Disney cameos)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She grunted, choking back sobs as she gripped the bed sheets. The pain was different now, intensified as agony stretched her body and a force compelled her to push through it.

"You're almost there, Anna," her sister soothed, wiping a dry cloth along her sweat-beaded brow and padding the moisture from her wet mangled hair.

"One more push, your Highness," the midwife instructed as she held Anna's legs firmly apart, but the princess was no longer listening; she had given in to her cries, sobbing wretchedly as her face burned bright red. The midwife's young assistant looked on, clearly distressed by the princess's anguished face and unrelenting wails.

"Anna." Elsa gently nudged her sister and pressed a cool hand along her cheek. "You need to push one more time, Anna." Her sister fluttered her eyes open and took in deep breaths. Elsa's cool touch eased her distress and her sobs slowly subsided in her throat.

"Just one more time, Elsa?" her voice cracked just audibly.

"Just once more."

Anna leaned her head against her sister's soothing hand, closing her eyes.

"Hold my hand," she murmured, reaching toward Elsa's free arm.

Elsa took her hand and slid onto the bed beside her. She exchanged a meaningful look with the midwife and slow nod, encouraging her to proceed.

"Your Highness, you're going to need to hold this one, okay? Start pushing when the contractions hit you. And don't stop until the end."

She nodded timidly, gripping Elsa tighter.

When her next contraction came, Anna anxiously held her breath and began to push. Moments later she heard the midwife cry out instructions.

"Okay, here we go. Push!"

But she was already pushing and briefly wondered if it was more for their benefit than her own.

Anna grit her teeth and pushed harder, her eyes squeezed shut and her fists clenched. An undiluted torrent of pain tore through her and she clutched her hand and fingers tighter around Elsa's hand, unaware of the nails that cut into her sister's flesh. Perspiration beaded down her face and her body trembled, threatening to collapse.

"I can't," she cried, feeling her efforts wane and her strength slip away. "Elsa, I can't do this anymore."

"You can, Anna," the Elsa replied, unaffected by piercing fingernails that carved into her palm. "You _are!"_

"Almost there!" the midwife informed as she readied her hands for what came next. But Anna didn't need to be informed, her body was already telling her as much. She could feel it coming, tearing through her weakened and tender flesh. An unnerving scream briefly jarred her from the moment, until she realized it was her own. But her sister's voice grounded her, tickling her ear with warm breath as she urged her on with soft words. Anna pushed and pushed, and just when she thought she could no more, a second current of strength compelled her further.

"No more!" she screamed, releasing Elsa's hand and dropping back against the pillow as her strength finally abandoned her. _No more._

But there was no more need to keep going. The midwife lifted a bright red baby and quickly suctioned the mucus from the mouth and nose. Within moments, the infant's first cries filled the princess's chambers.

"Oh, Anna," her sister cried. "She's beautiful."

_A girl._

Elsa squeezed her hand but Anna was too exhausted to respond. She struggled to open her eyes. Her labored breathing had subsided but the pains of labor had left her sore and drained. Sleep was sweeping over her but she fought against it, the occasion too important to miss.

The queen walked over to the midwife and watched as the old woman checked the infants' vitals and clipped the umbilical cord, and then, with a warm damp cloth, began to wipe the blood off her tender body.

"May I?" The queen asked hesitantly. The midwife glanced over to the fatigued princess for consent, uncertain how to address her queen's request.

"It's okay," Anna replied, soothing the panicked midwife with a weary smile.

While the midwife's assistant attended to Anna, Elsa took the damp cloth from the midwife's hands and gently wiped the baby clean. She wiped cautiously at first, unsure just how frail newborns were, but she quickly got her bearings under the instruction of the old woman. The hair was trickier, but when she finished the newborn's wispy silvery blonde hair was hardly visible against her pink complexion.

With the midwife's help, the queen wrapped a small yellow blanket around the infant and held her in her arms. The newborn's cries abated as she curled in Elsa's arms against her chest and opened her eyes for the first time. Elsa felt a hitch in her throat as the lovely specimen stared back at her with inquisitive eyes.

"Can I see her?"

The queen tore her eyes from the infant's face, sheepishly making her way to Anna as the princess found the strength to sit up in her bed.

"Midwife, can you give her a hand?" The queen requested as she was unable, her arms already occupied. The midwife and her assistant adjusted several pillows against the backboard and helped the princess settle comfortably against them before the queen carefully placed the child in Anna's arms. She beamed, exhaustion quickly giving way to her newfound delight.

"She's got a bit of a pointy head!" Anna gushed, chuckling softly. "Just look at her, Elsa."

The queen sat beside her and gently ran her fingers on the infants pointed head.

"Ah, that'll go away," the midwife interjected. "Newborns get that from the stress of the birth."

Anna nodded but nevertheless seemed unaffected by whether her child's head would take shape or not. "But she's healthy, right?"

"Yes, Your Highness. Perfectly healthy."

The princess smiled and pressed a kiss on her infant's forehead. The queen signaled the midwife and her assistant for privacy and the two quickly left, bowing as their queen silently thanked them.

"I can't believe how much she looks like you," Anna remarked, caressing the baby's cheek.

"You think?"

"Just look at her hair. And her eyes. She looks so much like you and mother." She laughed. "Kristoff is gonna be so jealous."

Elsa smiled, but she couldn't imagine her brother-in-law taking any offense to the newborn's strong royal genetics.

"I don't think you'll have anything to worry about," Elsa needlessly assured. "Just one look at this little creature and he will be completely enthralled."

"Yes," Anna replied, just as smitten. "Yes, he will."

Watching them, Elsa fought back the small thread of jealously that had sewn its way into her heart. It was a tiny thing, a stitch really, but that stitch envied Kristoff for all the things she shouldn't want.

"And don't worry about Kristoff," the queen added. "I sent for him as soon as you went into labor."

In the days leading up to their first child's birth, Kristoff had grown anxious and overly attentive to Anna. She was touched, at first. But when her due date passed and the baby still had not come, Kristoff became unbearable. Anna couldn't find a moment's peace with his constant attention and tireless scrutiny of her body's every little hiccup and spasm.

Then yesterday, after he insisted on accompanying her into the bathroom despite her protests, she decided she'd had enough and sent him on a fool's errand to garner herself a moment's peace.

_"A golden flower?"_

_"Yes, that's what the physician said."_

_Kristoff looked at her suspiciously._

_"And that will help ease your labor?"_

_"Yup," she replied glibly. "Guaranteed to have a complication-free childbirth."_

_"Oh, I suppose I could ask Grand Pabbie about it." He'd contemplated. "I just don't want to leave you all alone. What if the baby comes when I –"_

_"Please, Kristoff. It'll be fine. And don't worry, I won't be alone."_

Anna had been right about that that last part. Elsa had been with her through every step of her labor, coaching her and holding her hand, unfortunately Kristoff had missed it all. He was bound to be disappointed, that much was clear to her, but he wouldn't dwell on it for too long.

"It's okay," she assured her. "I'm not worried. I'm just glad you're here."

She squeezed Elsa's hand for good measure.

"And so is this little one," Anna cooed softly at the child.

The queen smiled warmly.

"And does this 'little one' have a name?"

The princess scrunched up her face in thought as she glanced between the infant and the queen. Elsa raised her brows, surprised that her sister seemed to be so deeply contemplating what the queen had imagined to be a very simple and straight forward question.

"Anna?"

The princess looked hesitant.

"We wanted Kristopher for a boy" she replied.

"And for a girl?"

Anna bit her lip. "Krisanna?"

"You can't be serious."

"Yes? No? I don't know," Anna fidgeted nervously with the infant's blanket. "We sort of joked about it. Combining couples' names is sort of the rage right now, so we figured…but it's not like we were serious. We just really thought it was going to be a boy."

Elsa couldn't deny her amusement, but there was no way she was going to allow her sister to brand the child with such an embarrassing name.

"And where did you get that idea?"

"Pabbie."

The queen chuckled softly and affectionately ran her fingers through Anna's matted bangs, carefully smoothing them out and brushing them to the side.

"But I don't think it matters anymore," Anna went on, relaxing under her sister's warm ministrations. "Especially now that she's here. Any name we would've come up with wouldn't have worked. I think –"

But before Anna could finish her train of thought, a loud ruckus coming from the hallway distracted both women. As the ruckus got closer, the frantic voices of the midwife and her assistant chorused in objection and then the chamber door swung open loudly with a crack as Kristoff and Sven burst through. The new royal quickly dismounted, his clothes soiled with dirt and sweat from the frenzied journey back. He took no more than two steps before the midwife tackled him to the ground.

"No, means no!" she huffed as she successfully overpowered the brawn mountain man. "And you too!" She scolded the reindeer. "Out!"

Sven backed out of the princess' chambers, his eyes wide with fear. Then she pulled Kristoff up to his feet, his arms stretched painfully behind his back. "And you," she began, twisting the man's arm for good measure. "You're not getting near that child until you've cleaned yourself up."

Before Kristoff could protest, the midwife dragged him out the room and closed the door behind her. It was only now that Anna realized that Elsa had erected a pane of ice around them, her fist clenched white and trembling. The queen, embarrassed by her drastic measures, quickly dematerialized the icy shield, and the startled infant, stunned by the commotion that had transpired just moments ago, overwhelmed the room with her fevered cries.

~X~

They both agreed that Krisanna would be a terrible name. Kristoff was still coming to terms with the fact that Grand Pabbie had been wrong about the baby's sex. And like Elsa predicted, the fact that the child didn't look much like him didn't bother him at all.

"I guess there are just some things that love experts can't predict," he mused. When Grand Pabbie had informed him that the first child he fathered would most definitely be a son, Kristoff made it his mission to have everything ready before his boy's arrival. The baby's room was painted blue and papered with pictures of ships and anchors. The closet was stuffed full with mini sailor outfits and tuxes, traditional vests, and mini 'mountain man' jammies to match with his own.

He supposed it could have been worse. An image of a burly mountain baby boy in a frilly pink dress quickly came to mind.

"I'm glad she doesn't look like me," he declared. "She'd be miserable as a husky mountain princess."

"Oh, I wouldn't mind," Anna protested, but she was already falling in love with her newborn's features; her inquisitive azure blue eyes and button nose that reminded her so much of Elsa and their mother, and her downy silvery blonde hair that curled up at the tips. Her flushed skin was already beginning to pale to a more natural complexion.

"Is she really gonna grow out of that cone head?"

"Oh, stop it. She's adorable."

"I know, I know," he held up his hands jokingly before returning his attention to the infant nestled in her arms. "But seriously, what are we gonna call her?"

Anna bit her lip, hesitant to answer.

"What about Irene?" Kristoff suggested. "After your mom? I supposed she _could_ look like an Irene." He leaned over to the baby "What do _you_ say kiddo?"

But the newborn looked bored and yawned before she closed her eyes.

"A 'No go', huh?" He ran a thumb over her little cone-shaped head, wondering if her future would be one filled with hats.

"Stop that!" Anna scolded gently. "I know what you're thinking."

"Well then, what do you think? Does she look like an Irene to you?"

"Elsa."

"Hmm?

"I think she looks like an Elsa."

Kristoff nodded. "I think you're right."

"Elsa," he contemplated aloud, and then turning to the sleeping infant he called the name once more. "Elsa?"

The newborn slowly opened her eyes, clearly annoyed by the disturbance.

"Elsa, huh?" A grin slowly formed on Kristoff's face. "Your sister's gonna be so embarrassed! Mind if I get to be the one to tell her?"

Anna rolled her eyes.

~X~

When Anna had first announced her engagement to Kristoff, the queen was tempted to object. The two had been dating for nearly a year and, although significantly longer than her courtship with Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, Elsa was convinced that Anna was simply too young.

_And unworldly._

Elsa had wanted Anna to experience more of the world before settling down. She had intended on sending her abroad to spend a few months with their aunt and uncle in Corona, and maybe after to their uncle's ancestral estate in the north. She was confident that Anna's wild spirit would certainly have no objection to that. The girls had reconnected over the past year, but Elsa had wanted some more time with Anna before sailing her off to enjoy the world. But when Anna resolutely announced her engagement, Elsa could not compel herself to say no.

She had still hoped Anna could make good use of her youth and 'sow' her 'royal oats', although perhaps in more chaste fashion. Even engaged, the princess wouldn't have to settle down for a few more years. But Anna had no intention of waiting with a long engagement. She insisted on being married within the month. That's when the rumors of 'Shotgun' weddings and illicit love affairs began to circulate throughout Arendelle.

Elsa could not bring herself to ask, too afraid of her sister's reply. But the thought of it continued to irk her and her affection for Kristoff quickly dispelled. Everything seemed fine on the surface, Anna's unbridled laughter continued to resonate cheerfully within the castle walls, but she would only engage in terse responses when questions of her abrupt engagement would arise.

Their uncle by marriage, the esteemed King Claudius of Corona, had insisted on a pre-wedding celebration for Anna. "We need to celebrate this great news!" He'd exclaimed drunkenly when they broke news of the engagement during an intimate family dinner. Kristoff sat rigidly next to Anna, uncomfortably dressed in coattails and clearly wishing he were anywhere else.

"We'll throw a pre-wedding Gala in your honor," he decided, holding up a topped glass of red wine with as much majesty as a sailor. Wine spilled over as he took his drink, spattering over the white tablecloth. Queen Isabella, their late mother's older sister, sighed, taking the glass from the flushed king. Rapunzel looked away, embarrassed, while Eugene grinned in amusement. Anna looked just as amused and stifled a laugh, while Kristoff offered his best wooden smile.

"I'm not sure that will be necessary," Elsa interjected. "The wedding's in less than a month. We'll barely have time for those preparations."

A brief silence fell over the table before their aunt Isabella expressed her disapproval. "That's just too soon, dears. Rapunzel's wedding dress took four months alone to make. I can't imagine what sort of festivities a month of planning will yield."

"It's okay Aunt Isabella," Anna replied. "We're just really excited to be married soon. Everything else is just window dressing."

"But you're so young!" their uncle cried out. "You should be enjoying the romance of youth, sowing wild oats! You should give it a few more years before you marry and start having—" He paused, the wheels in his head turning. "Wait, you're not preg—"

"Okay! I think it's off to bed for us," Aunt Isabella interceded as she quickly rose to her feet and took her husband by the hand. "If you will excuse us," she nodded apologetically to Anna and Elsa and smiled sympathetically at the unsettled groom before she dragged her husband away.

"And don't worry about the Gala," their uncle called out before he disappeared out of the dining room. "We'll take care of it."

Once the King and Queen were out of sight, their red-faced cousin looked up to her hosts and apologized emphatically. "He usually doesn't drink this much, really. I just hope he didn't overstep...he tends to do that."

~X~

The Gala was much grander than Elsa had expected. Despite their aunt's claims that a month didn't allot enough time to plan much of anything, the pre-wedding party was impressively lavish. Elaborate ice statues greeted the guests at the main entrance and a grand chocolate fountain rippled down a dozen tiers for guests to dip their favorite desserts. The floral arrangements replicated an outdoor garden, suffusing the ballroom with the scent of lilacs, and the food looked something like a feast orchestrated for Olympic deities. Despite the short notice, the Gala itself was not short on guests. Delegates from all their allied kingdoms had come to represent, and likely to get their first glimpse of the mountain man who had possibly compromised the virtue of the young Arendelle princess.

The rumors of a shotgun wedding had already spread outside the castle walls and Elsa had come nowhere near asking her sister of the validity of these whispers. What bothered Elsa more was the fact that Anna seemed to be oblivious to the gossip, and Anna was certainly not that naïve. Even Kristoff was not blind to the whisperings. He'd already heard of the betting pool among some of the locals; people placing scandalous bets on how soon after their marriage Anna would give birth.

The queen had kept an eye on the princess all evening, looking for any answers in the smallest of details. Anna's slender waist gave nothing away, and Elsa assumed that it would be too soon anyway if she was still early on. Her breasts seemed no different. Though small, they were full and pert, nicely accenting her petite girlish figure. _I could easily cup them in my hands_ , she thought fleetingly as the champagne warmed her cheeks before mentally chastising herself.

"It must be hard for you," a man's voice deduced as footsteps approached from behind. "Watching her slip away."

Elsa stiffened and she struggled not to expose her alarm, instead taking a moment to recompose herself before turning to face the stranger. It surprised her to find no trace of haughtiness or malice on his face. He was actually rather attractive, his dark complexion complemented by playful brown eyes, with short dark hair that curled over his forehead.

"I understand you two are quite close?" He smiled warmly, a gleam of boyish mischievousness in his eyes.

"Yes," she replied, a little unnerved by the stranger.

Reading her unease, the man quickly scrambled for his manners and bowed respectfully.

"Forgive me, Your Majesty. I should have introduced myself," he paused before taking her hand and cupping it in his. "I am the not-so-esteemed Prince Naveen of Maldonia."

The prince bowed once more, this time pulling her hand to his lips and smiling coyly.

 _Well, he certainly is…charming,_ she mused.

Cupping her hand once more in a tender caress he took a half step closer before he let her go.

"I have no siblings," the prince revealed. "But I can imagine how hard it must be to see them move on to new lives."

He was close enough that she could feel his warm breath as he spoke, and the queen was speechless, taken back by the prince's complete disregard for her personal space.

"Perhaps, we could go somewhere and talk?" He implored. "Privately?"

It was only when he pressed his hand upon her face that Elsa recoiled and regained her senses. She had been completely caught off guard by the playboy prince and could not find the words or the social etiquette to articulate her disinterest. Come-ons by international playboys were not something that normally happened to the Icy Queen of Arendelle and so she had no point for reference.

"I, I, um," the flushed queen stammered. "I'm gonna _go_ now."

And she turned away without waiting for the prince's reply, seeking refuge outside the ballroom walls.

Across the dance floor, Princess Anna stared in surprise as her sister whisked out of the Gala, the queen's face unmistakably burning red.

~X~

She'd made it as far as the library when she heard a voice call out her name.

_Oh God, no! He didn't follow me, did he?_

Thinking quick on her feet, she hid herself behind the nearest pillar and peered nervously toward the entrance of the library.

"Elsa?" It was not the voice she had expected; soft and girlish, with a musical timbre. Elsa cautiously stepped out from behind the pillar and into the openness of the candlelit library.

"Anna?"

Her sister's delicate frame peered from the entrance, cast in a shadow as she leaned against the doorway, struggling to catch her breath.

"Elsa, are you there?"

"I'm right, here," she answered stepping into the low light that illuminated the center of the room. This was her chance to get things out in the open, she realized, her nervous energy returning.

Anna made her way slowly into the room, the light casting the shadows away, and magnifying the red hues of her honey blonde hair. Elsa intended to meet her sister half way but hesitated when she took notice of the princess' somber expression.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

The princess stopped in her tracks.

"I saw what happened in the ballroom," she replied.

_Oh, that._

Elsa laughed sheepishly.

"I must've looked like some inexperience school girl."

Anna, however, made no sound, clearly not amused; her staid expression confusing the young queen.

"An—"

"Do you like him?"

_Do I what?_

"I don't understand. What are you—"

"The prince, Elsa." Anna paused nervously, but went on before she could get a reply. "It surprised me because you've never shown any kind of interest in anyone before."

Another pause.

Her cyan blue eyes gleaned and reflect bits of red from her hair in the candlelight, intensifying her gaze. Elsa felt her tongue go numb as she stared dumbly as her sister.

"You only ever looked at me." Anna moved toward her, closing in on the space between them, and Elsa was captivated by thoughts that usually only came to her in passing. Like the way her freckles traced along the curve of her neck, or how the straps of her dress rested loosely off her shoulders, and the soft curves of her chest just above her bodice... Elsa looked away, ashamed for a moment before meeting Anna's gaze.

"You're misunderstanding something here," Elsa tried to explain, her voice finally making its way back to her. "I'm not in any way involved with the Prince of Maldonia...in anything other than awkward conversation."

"That's not what it looked like."

Anna's prodding was starting to make her angry. She could feel her control begin to waver and her temperature begin to drop.

"And what about you?" Elsa shot back, vehemence seeping in her voice. "What are you hiding?"

"This isn't about me, Elsa," Anna replied, looking away.

"Oh, yes it is!" the queen asserted, taking Anna by the wrists to get her full attention. "Just say it, Anna! Everyone else is already saying it. But I want to hear it from you."

Their faces were just inches apart. Elsa could easily count the lashes in her eyes and feel Anna's warm breath as it caressed her cheeks. She could smell a hint of lavender from her freckled neck.

Anna pulled away, tearing away from the queen's heated stare, her skin burning. Elsa was struck by her own shame, as she noticed how those freckled shoulders slumped slightly and gave way to a small tremble.

"I need to know, Anna," she continued in a much softer tone, reaching a hand to console those delicate shoulders. "You're getting married in two days. Just say it. I'll understand."

She expected Anna to turn around and fall into her arms, weeping, as she affirmed the truth of the circulating rumors. Elsa braced herself, steeled her emotions to mask the disappointment and sorrow that she already felt creeping up on her. What she didn't expect was Anna pressing up against her, gently restraining her wrists behind her back as she closed the gap between their lips.

Her eyes widened in shock. Anna's lips felt warm upon her own as they tried to coax a response. Elsa felt an ache build up inside, her body tingling almost feverishly from the inside out. Her flesh grew tender and she felt a startling jolt of nerves as Anna began to draw her hands up the nervous queen's arms, all the while erotically tracing her fingers upon her skin. The sensation was more than she could endure, and a soft moan escaped her. When Anna pulled away, Elsa was flushed and short of breath, her face completely mortified over her unrestrained physical response.

"Do you understand now?"

Anna's face was colored by a lustful glow even as she glared at Elsa resentfully.

 _For how long?_ She wanted to ask her. _How long have you felt this way?_ But her throat was dry and her tongue was useless once again.

Overcome by a sense of humiliation over her newly exposed feelings, the princess retreated further into the library, hoping the darkness could mask her growing shame. She hadn't expected Elsa to follow after her.

She nearly jumped when Elsa touched her bare shoulder.

"It's okay Anna," the queen uttered softly, unable to make out more than her shadow.

"Is it?" the younger girl replied as she turned around.

Elsa didn't speak, instead she reached for her, seeking out her hands, but she couldn't find her in the dark.

"I'm right here," Anna said as she grabbed for the queen's waist, and she would have settled in her arms had Anna not stumbled and pulled them both tumbling back. She had expected the hard marble floor on her back, so it surprised the princess that their fall was cut short by a plush sofa. Elsa's petite frame was flush against Anna's now, her face buried in the crook of the princess' neck, and her flesh grew hotter when she realized that the princess' thigh was pressed suggestively between her legs.

They remained still, warming each other with their increasingly labored breath, but even without movement, the pressure between Elsa's legs was slowly mounting. Mumbling an apology to her sister beneath her, Elsa shifted, but as she did so Anna also tried to readjust her legs and in doing so, unintentionally thrust harder between her tenderness.

Elsa gasped, clutching her sister's body tighter against her own. She tried to swallow back the throbbing ache that settled in the pit of her stomach and the longing that was welling up in her chest.

"Anna," the queen murmured, her senses once again overcome by the scent of lavender. Lust and magic stirred inside as her lips made contact with that lovely neck. She traced her lips down her shoulder, suckling and biting down softly when she reached the strap, and realized that she'd been wanting to do that to Anna all night. The princess groaned beneath her as she reached her arms around Elsa then pushed them up and rested them possessively around her neck. She felt a warm hum in her chest that slowly threatened to overpower any remaining shred of reason.

"What are we doing?" Elsa mumbled, tentatively seeking Anna's lips. "We shouldn't be doing this."

 _Shouldn't be._ Despite that, she could not force herself to stop. Her lips, her tongue, her hands, they all seemed to have a will of their own. And they all wanted _her_.

"It's okay," Anna replied as she captured Elsa's lower lip and suckled tenderly, her fingers already working on undoing her buttons. "Just this one time, just for tonight. And we'll never speak of this again."

~X~

Neither of them ever brought it up. Elsa was Elsa and Anna was Anna, and there were no lingering or heated feelings burning between them. After the wedding, Anna recommitted herself to Kristoff, her feelings for Elsa decidedly purged after a night of passion. The fact that she often went back to that night, while she and her husband made love, didn't really mean anything. And the fact that Elsa continued to express no romantic interest in other men _didn't really_ bring her relief. And _never mind_ the fact that both were lying to themselves.

The rumors of Anna and Kristoff's shotgun wedding were also dispelled when the smallest Arendelle was born just nine months after their wedding. Even then, new rumors gave rise from whisperings behind closed doors. After all, the problem with feelings contained is that sooner or later they explode.

* * *

**A/N: The last two paragraphs were added to give some kind of closure. I'll be removing them and expanding the story if there is enough interest for me to continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

Anna hated the rain.

It had been falling for days, drumming stridently upon the windows, with no sign of it letting up. The clamor kept her up at night, shifting restlessly on her side of the bed while Kristoff slept unperturbed. He hadn't even noticed when Anna had finally tugged away what little of the blankets he had managed to cling onto in his sleep.

She listened to the tick of the clock; silently counting the seconds, hoping sleep would finally take her. But the seconds turned to minutes and before long an hour had passed; her eyes now wide open while the rain persisted even louder against the window pane. Anna released a heavy sigh and, in a wide sweeping gesture, kicked off the blankets and sat up on the edge of the bed. She must've been louder than she realized because she heard a startled sleepy gasp from little Elsie's crib on the other side of the room.

In the three months since Elsie's birth, Anna and Kristoff had suffered through the initiation rites of parenthood, waking frequently throughout the night for diaper changes and feedings. Although, it was mostly Anna who dragged herself from the comfort of their warm bed to sooth the infant's cries; the late night feedings were strictly a mommy thing. But on this night the roles between mother and child were reversed for once.

Anna slid off the bed and quietly made her way to the crib. The baby had already fallen back asleep, her small chest rising and falling with each breath as she lay on her side. Her little blue blanket laid cast aside at her feet, but there was not a tremble to indicate that she had felt its loss. Anna caressed her silvery blonde hair, noting how much thicker it had grown.

"Elsie," Anna whispered as she leaned over the sleeping infant, calling her by the nickname Elsa had bestowed. "Elsie, wake up."

A pair of azure blue eyes opened reluctantly then closed again.

"Stay with me, now," she urged softly as she reached in and scooped the infant into her arms. Elsie scrunched her face and groaned, just moments away from one of her cat-like screams. Suddenly quite panicked, Anna quickly swiped the blanket from the crib and scurried out of the room, closing the door behind them just as the little one's howl filled the corridor.

On the other side of the door, Kristoff stirred slightly but did not wake, trembling as he reached for the blankets.

~X~

Four days ago the sky had given very little indication of rain. The sun bellowed over Arendelle with no more than a few indiscreet wisps of clouds gathering over the fjord. And somewhere in the kingdom, a guileless snowman was taking the time to enjoy the first flowers of early spring. That, however, was not the case for the queen of Arendelle.

Elsa had awakened early with the day, delighting briefly in a cup of tea before immersing herself into the pile of weekly reports that awaited her in her study. Two hours in and she was distracted yet again by the very thing that had kept her awake for much of the early morning hours.

_It's almost been a year._

A year since Anna and Kristoff's wedding. And a year since that night Elsa and Anna had spent in the library. True to her word, Anna never mentioned it after that night. The moment they had stepped out of that library, the two brief lovers had parted ways, the bride into the arms of her worried bridegroom, and Elsa to the confines of her room, curled up in her armchair seeking respite from her swelling misery.

The month that followed after had been no better. The newlyweds sailed off on their honeymoon while Elsa was left to her recurring memories of that night, regret mounting with each remembered touch. She hated that she knew how Anna liked to be touched, and that Kristoff now knew it too. And she had wondered if Anna felt the same self-loathing that twisted up inside her.

Elsa closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the surface of the desk, allowing herself a moment to surrender to those feelings she had pristinely sealed away. Or so she had believed.

_If only it had never happened._

It was impossible of course. If words alone were nearly impossible to retract, what hope did she have for that night?

Before she could dwell on it further, a light rap on the door brought her back to the present.

"Elsa?" A familiar deep-set voice inquired hesitantly from the other side of the door.

She sat up straight, smoothing her disheveled bangs back into place and shuffled through the reports in front of her in an effort to appear busy, a part of her fearing that her face would somehow give away what she had been thinking.

"Come in, Kristoff," she answered.

The door cracked open slowly before Kristoff peered his head inside.

"It's okay, I won't bite." She jested, gesturing him into the study.

He nodded and awkwardly squeezed through the narrowly opened door, as if opening it further would somehow break it off its hinges. He was dressed comfortably in a Klondike vest with a red-on-black design and a white long-sleeved shirt which he had decidedly not tucked into his trousers. Elsa noted how much more relaxed he was in his gentleman's attire than he'd been at the beginning.

"You're busy," he observed, his attention drawn to the crinkled report in her hands.

"Not that busy," she replied decisively, casting the document aside and all pretense with it, then regarded him with an expectant look.

"I've been looking for Anna," he explained self-consciously.

Elsa raised her brows, although her expression remained largely neutral.

"Well, she's not here," she stated the obvious. There was nothing particularly cold or alienating in her countenance, but Kristoff couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't hold him in very high esteem.

He chuckled anxiously and shook his head apologetically.

"Sorry, that's not what I meant. I, well, the thing is, you see…Anna's been a little distant lately."

"Oh."

He wavered, noting the discomfort in Elsa's eyes, and suddenly realized that relating intimate details about his marriage to the queen of Arendelle was probably crossing the line of appropriate behavior. Never mind that she was also his wife's sister.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again. "I'm probably way out of line for bringing this up with you. I should go." He retreated, embarrassed by his impudence.

He hadn't made it to the door when his sister-in-law stopped him.

"It's okay, Kristoff. Take a seat."

She couldn't say what made her say it or why she felt compelled to keep him in her company. Maybe it was the defeated look on his face or his awkward attempt to open up to her. Or maybe she was just a masochist.

"You sure?"

"Yes," she conceded, masking her reluctance.

He gave her a lopsided smile.

"So, why do you think Anna's been distant?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," he confessed, sliding comfortably into the empty chair across from her desk. "Our first several months of marriage were great. We had lots of…f _un. You know?"_ Elsa shifted uncomfortably and nodded stiffly.

"But with her pregnancy, it got harder, and by the seventh month we just stopped having… _fun_ altogether."

 _Please make him stop_ , she bemoaned silently as she fidgeted with a pencil, gripping it to near-breaking.

"But I was fine with it, really," he swore, mistaking her reticence as a silent condemnation of his character. "It's just that I figured that we'd be back to _fun_ after the baby was born. But it's already _been_ three months."

Elsa tapped the eraser end of the pencil against the surface of the desk, briefly wondering when she had taken it in her hand. For each instance that the eraser head bounced off the wood, she noticed that it scuffed off some of the wood polish.

"Well? What do you think?"

_I'll have to repolish the surface._

"Elsa, what should I do?"

_How should I know!?_

She cleared her throat and let the pencil drop on the last bounce, watching as it rolled off the desk before she looked up at Kristoff's anxious face, his eyes pleading with her.

"I think…she's just had a baby and she's overwhelmed by it," Elsa replied carefully, but Kristoff shook his head, clearly unconvinced.

"No," he answered gravely. "It's more than that. She doesn't let me _touch_ her."

He buried his face in his hands in deep frustration. Elsa, on the other hand, was dumbstruck.

_She doesn't let him touch her._

And she hadn't for some time. It took her a moment to find her words. "Did you…did you ask her _why_?"

"I've tried," he admitted, dropping his hands way. "But she cuts out on me before I can get the words out." Kristoff balled his hands into fists and slammed them down on his lap before jumping to his feet. He was laughing now, his tone bitter and resigned. Elsa stood as well, her body tensed.

"I'm not really sure what I expected from you," he confessed. "There's really no one I can talk to about this in this castle. _Unless you count Sven_."

She could see the exhaustion on his face and Elsa realized that it was more than just a passing concern for him.

"But, maybe…if she heard it from you?" Kristoff stared wistfully at the queen, his eyes pleading with her again.

"No."

He wasn't sure he'd heard right, but the definitive reply was painted on her face.

"It's not my place," she clarified firmly before he could ask why. " _You_ need to get her to listen. She's stubborn, so you have to be stubborn too."

 _Why am I telling him this?_ She wondered, but Elsa saw no point in leading him astray. Whatever her reservations, they were family and Anna was still his wife.

He was smiling again. "You know," he said thoughtfully. "You may not seem like it, but you're actually very easy to talk to. Kinda like a guy."

Elsa frowned, uncertain how construe his praise, but quickly dismissed it, her mind still resonating with one distracting thought.

_She doesn't let him touch her._

~X~

She hadn't meant to look.

Kristoff had insisted on keeping her company for the better part of an hour, playing with a Chinese finger trap, procured from who knows where, while Elsa finished reading through her weekly reports. He seemed to be in better spirits and she had hoped that she could finally detach herself from his company.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a brunch," she announced as she flipped over the pages of her final report back to its first page. "I have a meeting at one, so I'll need to get ready."

Kristoff looked up as Elsa rose to her feet.

"I'll join you," he replied, pulling too hard on the finger trap and breaking it in two. "I could use a snack." He hadn't noticed the tight smile that formed her lips as he followed her out the study.

They had cut through the Minstrel's Gallery and the Solarium when Kristoff paused and inhaled sharply.

"That's so hot," he mumbled under his breath.

Elsa stopped and looked back at Kristoff whose gaze was directed toward one of the sitting rooms.

That's when she saw it.

Anna was seated in an armchair holding Elsie and gently cradling her little head as the infant suckled from her breast through the unbuttoned opening in her blouse. Elsa turned away and Kristoff quickly realized just how depraved he must have sounded.

"I meant that it's just such a _beautiful_ …and _natural_ …and _maternal_ thing."

Elsa gave him a pointed look and glanced briefly toward Anna before she walked away.

"I'll just catch you later," Kristoff called after her.

She waved back silently without stopping or turning, afraid to give away any indication of the bright blush that had tinted her ears and was making its way across her cheeks.

~X~

Elsa hated brassieres. Almost as much as she hated corsets.

She preferred the silky comfort of camisoles and begrudgingly relented whenever she had to wear otherwise. But there was no getting around it. The dress that was splayed over her bed fitted best with a brassiere, and it was nice enough dress, certainly a step up from her long-sleeved conservative gowns. It was fashioned in purple silk dupion with pearl-edged double sleeved flounce in silk and ivory lace. Regrettably, it maintained a high collar and a long row of intricate buttons to close up the back.

 _So many buttons_.

Even the brassier had buttons.

She stripped out of the last of her garments and discarded them onto the chair, piled on top of the outfit she had just removed. Her nakedness didn't bother her in the slightest; she felt light and unrestrained, and rather enjoyed the cool tinge of air that kissed her skin.

Elsa had just stepped into a new pair of panties and secured them to her hips when she heard a soft tapping upon her chamber door. It was too early for the chambermaid to tidy up, especially in her state of undress.

"I'm still changing," she called out. "Please come back in an hour."

She listened for a reply but there was only silence, and just when she thought the maid had gone, she heard the tapping again.

"Come back later," the queen commanded even louder, growing increasingly annoyed. "I'm not—"

And just then, stopping her in mid-sentence, the door swung open, and a rosy cheeked Anna pushed her way in, nearly stumbling as her eyes fell over Elsa's mostly naked body. Still in a state of shock, Elsa had been slow to react, and it took her the better part of five seconds to realize just how compromised she was. Burning with embarrassment, she swiped the discarded camisole from the chair and held it over her bared chest.

"Anna, the door!"

The princess nodded, slowly sealing the door behind her, unable to pull her gaze away from Elsa's lithesome body. Even as tense as she was, the queen's physique was delicate and graceful, her slender proportions accentuated by the supple curves of her hips and the round firmness of her breasts. It had only been seconds, but Anna had more than glimpsed them, she had etched them into memory. Instinctively, she flexed and curled her hands, recalling the girth of those breasts enclosed by her fingers, the sensation imprinted into the muscle memory of her hands.

"Didn't you hear me?" Elsa implored, unaware of just how poorly that camisole had managed to conceal her. She had only moved her hand slightly, but the silk garment had slipped off the curves of her chest, covering nothing more than the shadowy valley between.

"You said, 'come in,'" Anna insisted, fidgeting with the soft tips of her braids, her gaze torn.

"No, I didn't. I—"

And there it was again, that look of utter embarrassment as Elsa realized that her efforts at modesty had been completely in vain. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned her back to Anna.

"You really should go."

_Should go._

The princesses spied the dress and the blue lace brassiere that were laid out on the bed, noting the number of fine buttons that studded up the back of the gown.

"I could help," she offered demurely.

_"Anna."_

_Anna._

The soft throaty whine in Elsa's voice had been no more than a manifestation of her exasperation with the stubborn princess, but to Anna it sounded a lot like the needy plea her one-time lover had repeated numerous times in the course of that one night. She mentally berated herself, willing herself to forget.

"Elsa?"

"You can help," she finally replied, unable to will herself to turn around.

The queen tensed as she heard Anna's soft approach and felt her presence behind her. After several beats, the princess touched her shoulder, and the queen struggled to swallow the knot that was forming in her throat.

"Um, Elsa?"

"Hmm?"

"Your bra…"

The queen finally turned around, clutching her arms around her chest even tighter.

"Did, did you need help with that, too?" Anna fought down the warm glow she felt growing on her face.

"I got that," Elsa mumbled, turning around once again as she swiped the brassier and bashfully put it on. She reached back to fasten the buttons but her nerves were on edge and her fingers felt like thumbs.

"Here, let me," her sister offered, pushing aside the queen's clumsy hands and easily fastening the brassiere in place. But she didn't stop there. To Elsa's mounting mortification, Anna reached her arms around her chest, slipping her thumbs just under the fabric, and gently running her fingers along the elastic edge of the brassiere from front to back, her hands tenderly grazing her ticklish skin. The queen shuttered and choked back a moan.

"What are you doing?" she rasped.

"Just straightening the elastic band," Anna replied unconvincingly.

"You're supposed to do that," she insisted when her sister didn't respond.

"Okay, now the dress," she instructed.

Elsa grabbed the garb and slipped it over her head, adjusting it in place and smoothing it down with her hands while Anna began on the buttons. There were roughly fifty of them that spanned from the collar down to just south of her backside.

She could feel Anna slowly work her way up the buttons, her warm fingers grazing her back along the opening. A warm glow began to form in her lower abdomen as her mind became increasingly aware of those fingers. Her nerve endings were pulsing and the warm glow resonating with longing. She needed to make it stop.

"Where's little Elsie?" Elsa finally asked, her voice slightly strained as she broke the silence that that fallen over them.

"Kristoff has her."

_Kristoff._

"Oh."

Silence again. She searched her thoughts for something to say. _Anything, just say anything_. But the fingers that Anna worked along her back were much too distracting.

"I actually stopped by to see you for a reason," Anna interjected softly, before Elsa lost herself to the pleasing hum that was riding up her spine.

"Yes?"

"Kristoff and I are going horseback riding up the east Fjord Mountains after Elsie's midafternoon nap."

"Want me to look after her?" They had the nursemaid for that, but Anna knew how much her older sister enjoyed looking after the baby. It secretly bothered the princess to think that Elsa adored little Elsie more.

"Actually, we were wondering if you wanted to join us."

_Yes, go. Be the third wheel._

"I'm sorry, Anna, but I can't. My meeting's probably going to run pretty late."

"We'll wait, there's no rush," her voice was noticeably lower and it stunned Elsa when she felt Anna's hands slid down her back and along her sides, resting them on her hips.

"I really want you to come," Anna murmured suggestively, her breath was hot on Elsa's back as she pressed up against her.

Elsa's breathing grew labored and the ache in her pelvis swelled as the hands on her hips squeezed and kneaded, slowly making their way to her abdomen. She closed her eyes and gave into the desire to touch her back, clasping her hands over Anna's and entwining their fingers.

Then her lips were on her neck, slowly kissing down Elsa's back, inciting her to whimper and ache needfully as Anna's name hung on her lips.

" _She doesn't let me touch her._ "

Her eyes snapped open and she pulled away, her heart suddenly sick with guilt. She turned to face Anna, but the princess had already turned away, desperate to conceal the lust that had overtaken her the moment she had touched Elsa.

"I should go," Anna said as she cleared her throat, already making her way to the door.

The queen nodded, unable to make a sound.

When the door closed behind the princess, Elsa dropped unceremoniously onto her bed and buried her face in the pillow. The council meeting started in a quarter hour. It would take her ten minutes to compose herself and another twenty minutes to finish fastening the buttons.

~X~

Very little of the council's agendas had registered with the queen. She vaguely recalled something about a visiting Persian— _or was it a Persian rug?_ —being gifted to the newly crowned queen of Andalasia. As it happened, the first hour went on like this, her distracted mind unable to make sense of the bits of information that merged to form complete and utter nonsense. It wasn't until the last item that she managed to give her full attention, and agreed to divvy additional funds for the expansion of commercial fishing and exports.

"Well then, that completes today's agenda. If there's nothing else, we'll adj—"

"Actually, there is one more thing, Your Majesty," the Major Archbishop interjected, speaking for the first time since the start of the session. He looked uncomfortable as he approached the queen, and Elsa realized that all the council members wore similarly disquieted expressions.

"You may proceed."

The Major Archbishop cleared his throat, exchanging a glance with the lead state councilman before he began.

"There has been some talk, Your Majesty," he hesitated and took a deep breath. "It's mostly been circulating within the kingdom, but it's starting to spread beyond our kingdom's walls."

"What is it?" She asked, folding her arms, hiding the small tremble in her hands.

"There's no easy way to say this. It's just that for a ruler to be unmarried, especially for a woman, well, there's really been no precedent for a situation such as yours. The unexpected passing of your parents and Your Majesty being thrust so young into the throne, we're all treading new ground here."

Elsa nodded slowly, not quite sure what to make of his exposition.

"And with so many changes and uncertainties, the subjects of this kingdom have begun making their own conjectures." The Major Archbishop paused briefly. "They've started calling you _The Virgin Queen_ , ma'am."

_Well, that one's new._

"It doesn't strike me as any worse than The Snow Queen, and I know many of you have used that title to address me behind closed doors," Elsa replied, confounded by the Major Archbishop and the council's severity over something so seemingly trifle.

The men shifted uncomfortably and the Major Archbishop fidgeted with his robe.

"It's more about why they're saying it. There's been talk that you have been refusing offers of marriage because you, well, because it gives you greater freedom to pursue non-exclusive romantic entanglements."

Elsa sank back into her chair, her eyes wide in disbelief. There was a modicum of relief, but that was quickly displaced with apprehension over any potential political ramifications.

"But that's not all, Your Majesty," the Bishop continued.

"There's more?" She exclaimed, unable to mask the incredulity in her voice.

"It has to do with the child."

_Little Elsie?_

"Her strong likeness to you has spurred many rumors."

"And just what are they saying?" She asked, her voice as cold as the Snow Queen she aspired to be.

"Many are questioning her parentage, saying that she is your child, and not Princess Anna's. There are rumors circulating that the princess's marriage is a ruse to help cover for your indiscretions."

~X~

Had she been the Elsa of two years ago, she probably would have frozen over the fjord. _Again._ It took all her control to keep the ice in, and even then, the council chambers had dropped a good thirty degrees. The councilmen and the Major Bishop had held their breaths in fear.

She wanted to check up on Elsie, but didn't trust herself to stay in the castle for long. Making haste, she stopped briefly in her quarters, threw off her gown, and slipped into a pair of riding breeches and a white shirt. She was so driven by ire that she barely felt the strain on her legs as she ran in the direction of the stables, small patches of frost forming on the ground where she stepped.

"Anna? Kristoff?"

Two of the Fjord horses were missing, including a set of saddles.

 _It's just as well,_ she figured, remembering her encounter with Anna in her room, still unable to make sense of it.

She took Shelby, a four year old white mare with a blonde mane, riding her hard up the steep mountain climb, pushing her as far as she was willing to go as Elsa clung tightly to the reigns. Shelby didn't seem to mind, she just pushed harder.

Elsa focused on the sound of Shelby's breath, on the sudden silence that had fallen around then as a distant rumble resonated in the sky, and on the pain in her hands as the reigns bit into them from clutching too tightly. She dwelled on the moment, unwilling to think about anything else, even as she fought against the hollow feeling that threatened to envelop her chest. But her frustrations fought their way to the surface, slowly expanding the emptiness. _The council. Kristoff. The child._

_Anna._

They were about halfway up the climb when the skies began to darken, rain clouds quickly gathering over the fjord. Once they got to a small clearing, Elsa drew the horse into a short trot and brought her to a stop.

"I think it's time to head back," she told Shelby. The horse snorted and turned her ears in Elsa's direction as she spoke.

They hadn't gone far when the rain came pouring down over them in thick, heavy drops. By the time they reached the mountain floor, Elsa was soaked to the skin, her bangs clumped and dripping over her face. It surprised her, how much she liked the sensation of the heavy rain on her back as it beat her shirt flush against her skin, briefly reminding her of Anna's softness as she'd pressed behind her.

For the first time in a long while she felt light, like she could finally breathe, even as the rain came down so hard that it looked and felt like endless white noise. And yet, in that singular moment it washed away the things that weighed on her, and made her forget about that hole inside her chest.

When they made it back to the stables Elsa dismounted too hastily in her eagerness to feel ground beneath her feet, and lost her grip on the wet pommel, smacking Shelby's rump as she landed hard on her side. The spooked horse jumped back and bolted, scampering across the far end of the pen with the saddled still strapped firmly on.

Elsa didn't bother going after her. Muddied and bruised, she stumbled her way to her feet, and was struck by the ache on her backside and her inner thighs as she walked into the stables. The queen of Arendelle was anything but graceful as she tried wiping the mud that been caked into her hair.

The two missing Fjord horses and saddles had been returned and Elsa wondered just how long ago Anna and Kristoff had come back from their ride. Up until that point she had largely forgotten about the council meeting and all talk of virgin queens and illegitimate children. She'd even forgotten about Kristoff and his non-existent sex life. The only thing she was never able to shake was Anna.

She filled a bucket full of water, struggling with the water pump, her body exhausted and unaccustomed to manual labor, and poured it into the tin water basin next to the vanity mirror. She mused over her reflection, the mud starting to dry in her bun fashioned hair, and the bangs matted over her eyes.

That's when she heard what sounded like a loud crack. It couldn't have been one of the horses; the sound had come from the direction of the hayloft and Shelby was still outside in the rain.

She crept quietly, her hand extended defensively in front of her as she approached the loft. She grabbed a hold of the ladder and listened again. This time she heard a loud bestial grunt accompanied by a decidedly feminine gasp. She froze. The blood drained from her face and her body trembled as realization slowly set in.

Then she heard what sounded like the rustling of clothes and their voices, in loud whispers. They sounded closer than before and she realized that they were preparing to climb back down. Elsa bolted, quickly making her way out the loft and past the horse stalls when she heard Kristoff call her name.

"You just get back?" He shouted. He was grinning stupidly, brushing bits of hay from his hair with his fingers.

Elsa nodded, staring intently at Anna. One look between them and Anna knew that Elsa knew. Even if she'd had never heard them, it was written all over them. Kristoff and his satisfied smirk and ruffled clothes. And Anna. Her shirt worn inside out and her honey blonde hair tangled with bits of hay, and the unmistakable sheen of sweat that coated her skin.

Anna looked away, touching her hair anxiously, feeling ashamed under her sister's scrutiny.

It shouldn't have been a shock to Elsa. They hadn't done anything wrong. They'd already been married for a year. Even if they hadn't been having sex for the past five months, they were doing it like rabbits before. They had a child.

_Then what was it that happened between us?_

"Aw geez, Elsa. What happened to you? You're a mess," Kristoff observed.

"It's nothing," she replied once again assaulted by guilt and anger all the same. "I just slipped. But I need to get cleaned up, so I'll see you guys inside."

"We could wait for you."

"No," she firmly answered, more a command that a response. "I'm going to be a while."

Elsa hobbled away before he got a chance say anything else, listening to their footsteps as they left. She made her way back to the basin of water and washed the dirt from her face. Then she removed several pins from her hair, watching her reflection as her long French braid fell to her shoulder, spattering more mud onto her shirt.

The queen slumped over the tin basin and stared long and hard at her distorted reflection in the dirty water. And then, with a scream, she struck the basin and sent it flying, the water crystalizing in midair before it struck the ground and shattered.

~X~

Anna gently bounced Elsie as she made her way through the darkened castle, her pajama top and bottoms barely providing her with any warmth. She regretted not grabbing a robe on her way out the door, and as much as she wanted to return for one, she didn't want to deal with Kristoff in case he woke.

She was mad at him. And herself.

Elsa hadn't made eye contact with her in four days. And Anna couldn't decide if it that was worse than being ignored altogether. She had never felt so small.

More than anyone, she wanted to blame Kristoff. They had made it back to the stables shortly before the rain began to pour down and he'd suggested that they wait until the rain let up before they went back to the castle.

_And what a better place to wait than the hayloft, right?_

She'd been reluctant when he tried to kiss her, pushing him away. Avoiding him was a lot harder when he was blocking her only way out.

_"Come on, Anna. It's been months. What's changed?"_

_"Nothing," she'd insisted. "I'm just really tired, Kristoff."_

_"You say that, but it feels like it's more. I miss you."_

_He'd reached for her, pressing one hand on her cheek and the other on the small of her back, and pressed a wet kiss on her mouth. But Anna had stiffened, cringing as his stubble rubbed her face like sandpaper. He coaxed her down onto a pile of hay, easing his clothed body on hers, motioning his hips against hers in steady beats. She didn't want to respond, but her body quickly remembered the heat of Elsa's body flush against hers and the ache of their unsatisfied lust. Anna clung to him and moaned, hating how much she wished it was Elsa pressed between her legs._

Like that night.

But it wasn't Elsa. And that night remained unspoken between them, full of the many things they could never say.

Not that she hadn't been tempted. She must've tried a half a dozen times, stopping herself after a short glance at Elsa's unaffected repose. Her sister was the picture of perfection; not a stray hair out of place, nor a crinkle on her brow, and certainly no indication that she felt the consequences of those unbridled passions in the dark. But as reserved as Elsa appeared to be, Anna couldn't help but notice that there was an unmistakable awkwardness whenever they touched, even in something as small and innocuous as the feathery brush of their hands.

_If only she hadn't been there._

It mortified her to think that Elsa had heard them. Anna had hoped she hadn't, but the look on her sister's face clearly said otherwise. There had been nothing accusing in her eyes, Elsa was not so petty, but there had been a flicker of something lost.

Anna filed it away with all the other things left unsaid between them.

She bit her lip as she turned the corner and tucked little Elsie's cold hands inside her blanket. The hallway was darker than she remembered. For nineteen years she had lived on this side of the castle, fourteen of which she'd been just across the hall from Elsa. But now she slept in her parents' old room with a man who breathed too loudly in his sleep and left crumbs on the bed.

She hadn't realized how much she missed this corridor and her old room…or the snowflake door that never seemed to open.

A soft light glowed underneath that very door and Anna sought the will to move forward.

Okay, s _he's still up._

She raised her free hand hesitantly as she approached the door, a part of her having hoped that Elsa had been asleep after all. Anna took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.

_All I gotta do is knock, right?_

**_To be continued…_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look back to where it all began...

Anna bit her lip and held her breath as she stood waiting in front of Elsa's door, crinkling her face with impatience. The expression must've struck the infant as comical because she managed to untangle her arms from her blanket and tried to reach for one of Anna's honey blonde locks as she gurgled and smiled toothlessly in her mother's arms.

 _Waiting_ , Anna mused distantly. _I was always waiting._

Less than two years before she had stood outside this very door feeling just as apprehensive about knocking. Even after the truth behind Elsa's isolation had been exposed and the distance finally bridged between them, Anna still couldn't fight down the nerves as she struggled to knock on that snowflake door.

Things between them were so different back then. Despite all the heartache they had endured growing up simultaneously together and apart, their relationship had been vastly uncomplicated, unlike now. And as much as Anna longed for simple, she also longed for so much more.

She trembled, partly from the cold, and swallowed what remained of her hesitation, knocking softly on the door.

~X~

_Almost Two Years Ago_

Kristoff had her playfully cornered, his arms pressed against the wall on either side of her as he grinned broadly. Anna responded with a flirtatious laugh and cupped his cheek, gently rubbing his upper lip with her thumb. With that encouraging gesture, Kristoff leaned in for a kiss but he was startled when Anna ducked and slipped away, laughing as she sprinted off.

She sped through the corridor, only glancing back as she approached the stairway, her cheeks flushed brightly. He darted after her and nearly had her within his grasp when she leapt onto the bannister and slid down.

"No fair," she distantly heard him say as she spiraled down, quickly picking up velocity.

The clatter of Kristoff's footsteps quickly faded as the distance expanded between them. Anna tried looking back for him, but she had already descended too far down to be within view, and could only assume that he was coming after her.

"There's an unscheduled ship docking in the fjord," she heard a familiar voice declare as she quickly approached the bottom of the stairs. Anna turned her head forward and nearly gasped as she realized that Kai and Elsa were just at the foot of the stairway, her sister directly in her landing path. Her flirtatious glow was quickly replaced by panic as she gripped the bannister tighter, knowing full well that nothing was going to slow her down at this point. She tried calling out a warning, but got out no more than the first syllable of her sister's name before slamming right into her.

Elsa barely had enough notice to turn her head when she heard Anna's outcry. Her eyes grew wide as Anna barreled into her with full force, knocking her back onto the marbled floors. Elsa gasped, feeling her breath escape her and her diaphragm constrict with Anna's full weight pressed heavily on top of her. She gasped again, but the air would not come and she gripped onto Anna's hips as she tensed and struggled for breath.

"Oh, god," Anna muttered out loud and grunted as she propped herself up, her hips pressing tightly against her sister's. Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, the color draining from her face as her delicate hands dug tighter into Anna. Within moments, breath came gasping back to her and it was only then that she became aware that Anna and Kai were addressing her, their faces frantic with concern.

"Elsa?"

"Your Majesty?"

"I am so sorry." Anna leaned in closer and pressed her hand against her sister's cheek, noting the pallid color of her face. Elsa closed her eyes and unclenched her hands from Anna's hips, content to lay comfortably limp on the floor as she regained her equilibrium.

"Are you okay, Elsa? What am I saying? Of course you're not okay; I just knocked you into the middle of the second century," Anna babbled, not bothering to wait for a response. "Are you hurt anywhere? Anything broken? Oh god, I think I just broke the queen of Arendelle, well, parts of her. We need a doctor! Kai, go call—" Elsa pressed her fingers firmly against Anna's lips, effectively silencing her and the dizzying whirlwind of words that overwhelmed her senses.

Kristoff chuckled softly as he slowly descended the steps.

"Should I be worried?" He jested, amused by the way the sisters lay entangled on the floor; their hips pressed together and their faces just inches apart. "Not sure how I feel about competing with the queen for her sister's affections."

Anna blew a strand of hair from her face as she turned her head at the sound of Kristoff's voice and gave him an incredulous look before pushing herself up to her feet and reaching out to her sister. Elsa shook her head at the absurdity of his comment, a trace of an amused smile on her lips, and took Anna's hand, gingerly rising to her feet as well, even as the room continued to spin around her. She took hold of Kai's outstretched arm to steady herself.

Anna approached Kristoff at the foot of the stairs and smacked him across his shoulder, her face playfully cross.

"Don't think that your backwoods charm is going to help you now," she teased.

"It's worked for me so far," he replied earnestly, closing in on the gap between them as he leaned in to kiss her, but he hesitated as Kai cleared his throat loudly, and pressed a chaste kiss on her cheek instead. The disappointed tight smile she gave him when he pulled away gave him cause to reconsider the kiss, choosing to take her lips after all. However, Kristoff didn't have a chance to even try. Just as he began to slip a hand upon her waist, the resonating metallic clank of the main doors as they were pushed open stole their attention unto the new arrival.

"The _Persephone_ has docked on the landing, Your Majesty," a young squire announced as he stiffly made his way through the door, directing his address to the queen. "Princess Rapunzel and Prince Eugene of Corona, and their entourage are making their way along the pier and should be escorted here shortly."

Anna pulled away from Kristoff and turned to Elsa.

"I thought we weren't expecting them for another four days."

"We're not. We weren't," Elsa replied with equal surprise as she let go of Kai's arm. "How long before they arrive at the gates?" she asked the squire.

"A half hour at most, Your Majesty."

The queen nodded to herself, contemplating her next course of action, and Anna stared expectantly, waiting on Elsa's next words.

"I should probably leave," Kristoff interjected, shoving his hands into his pant pockets and taking a short bow in front of his queen. His eyes met Anna's and she nodded his way. With that, he gave Anna's arm a quick affectionate squeeze as he walked past, and then made his way out the wide opened door without another word.

"Kai, I'll need you to get the guest apartments ready," Elsa commanded. "Get the staff immediately on it." She turned back to the adolescent squire, who maintained his rigid repose. "Have the escort lead our guests for a tour of the main square, before leading them into the castle."

The boy nodded and bolted out the main door and Kai bowed before excusing himself.

"Come on, Elsa," Anna urged, tugging on her silken sleeve. "We need to get ready, we don't have much time."

Elsa winched, a small jolt of pain cascading along her wrist, and she cradled her hand.

"We really need to get you looked at," Anna insisted as she delicately took hold of her sister's injured hand, noting the swelling that was forming along her wrist where her thumb was joint. She caressed her fingers along the injury, and then applied the slightest pressure against Elsa's thumb and watched the queen's reaction as she grimaced.

"That hurts, doesn't it?"

Elsa nodded, "Yes."

"Alright then," Anna said decidedly. "Looks like our guests are just gonna have to wait."

There was a softness in Anna's eyes as daylight diffused through the stained glass windows in the ceiling, casting an orange fiery ring around her pupils. It was a strange combination; her soft gaze, laden with concern, and her iridescent blue eyes, cyan flecks consumed by a ring of fire. Elsa wasn't sure why the thought crossed her mind or why her mind bothered to dwell upon immaterial details.

Anna took hold of Elsa's uninjured arm and escorted her up the stairs toward their rooms.

"Anna!" Elsa exclaimed, but didn't make any attempt to resist her lead, finding Anna's closeness comforting. Instead, for some reason, she felt her cheeks grow warm as a dizzy spell took hold of her again, and wondered just how hard she'd hit her head after all.

~X~

"You sure it's gonna be ok?" Eugene asked once more, casting a look of doubt in his wife's direction as he held tightly onto his satchel. Two Arendelle unloaders had already tried making a grab for it under the pretext that it was part of their job. Even after Rapunzel had insisted that it was standard protocol, the thief in him refused to let go. But even as he clung onto it, he was far more concerned about the Ice Queen herself.

"Cuz, the last time we were here—"

"Eugene! We are not talking about this again. They can hear you!" Even though she knew he meant well, Rapunzel had had enough of her husband's continued paranoia and was half tempted to push him into the fjord.

Eugene opened his mouth to protest, but before he could utter a syllable, their companion, Augustus Hawkins slapped him on the back as he came up behind him.

"Give it up, Eugene," Augustus cautioned, grinning widely. "Once you're married, there's no defying the missus." He walked past the couple, making his way along the pier to land, where their horse-drawn carriage awaited them. Their second companion, a raven-haired girl no older than twenty, stepped off the boarding plank, her eyes anxiously scanning the platform before quickly following after Augustus without so much as a glance toward the bickering couple.

"Oh, she's got it bad," Eugene commented.

Rapunzel nodded then flicked her finger on his forehead.

"Behave!" She commanded as Eugene rubbed his head and glared back at her. "Or I just may let my cousin add you to her collection of frozen human chess pieces." With that, Rapunzel turned away and followed after their companions, leaving Eugene to wonder if anything in her threat was remotely true.

~X~

Anna was careful to apply very little pressure as she rubbed the ointment along the delicate swelling of Elsa's wrist. Bruising was already becoming visible over the slight protrusion, so it surprised Elsa how little Anna's ministrations hurt her at all. If anything, she was startled by how nice it felt; the way the tips of her fingers rhythmically stroked and massaged over the tender flesh in even strokes, and the alarming way Anna's thumb caressed the palm of Elsa's hand. There was nothing particularly salacious in the way the princess attended to her sister, and yet Elsa couldn't deny the apprehension she felt whenever Anna stroked along the center of her hand, and the tingling that fluttered up her spine as her touch lingered.

"I think that's enough, Anna," Elsa said softly, an edge of nervousness lining her words as she made a halfhearted attempt to pull her hand away. Anna simply smiled back, cupping Elsa's hand affectionately.

"There's nothing to fear," Anna said kindly. "I'm not afraid of you. And I'm not afraid of your touch."

"You're not?"

Anna pressed her forehead against her sister's and took Elsa's uninjured hand, holding it firmly against her chest. Their noses bumped and Elsa's face felt terribly hot. Anna was warm and soft and so very close. Elsa instinctively tried to pull away, but Anna had her hand firmly clasped over her heart.

"It's okay, Elsa," Anna assured her, even as Elsa shifted uneasily on her sister's bed. "You're not gonna hurt me." And for emphasis she added, "I _know_ you're not gonna hurt me. I trust you."

It embarrassed Elsa to realize that the thought had only crossed her mind when Anna put it into words, and a part of her felt ashamed for feeling something that she couldn't quite put into words. Everything involving Anna had become hyper-intensive to her, like a magnifying glass scrutinizing over every last detail. The hue of her eyes and the shimmering reflective specks, the inviting heat of her touch, like the warmed breeze over a bonfire, and the freckles that kissed her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. So many little details swirling in the periphery of her thoughts. Still, the reminder of the past left Elsa disquieted and heavy with guilt. And doubly ashamed.

"You can't say that, Anna." Elsa looked away. "I've hurt you before."

"There's no denying what happened before," Anna replied pensively, and Elsa closed her eyes, cringing at the memory. "But it was hardly that simple. Even when there was fear, there was also love."

The queen sighed, unwilling to let go of the blame for the role she played in Anna's near death, and she was surprised when Anna suddenly pulled up her chin. Her hands were still slick with ointment, but neither of them seemed to be the slightest bit aware of that fact.

"Don't do that to yourself, okay?" Anna urged. "I like having my sister back. Besides, we've lived too long with these high walls between us. Isn't it just better to put that all behind us and just enjoy getting to know each other all over again?"

Anna pulled her hand away and Elsa nodded tentatively, a clump of medical grease clinging from her chin.

"Oh gosh. Here, let me get that." Anna swiped her thumb along Elsa's chin but only succeeded in spreading it further.

"Ah, that wasn't….." she tried again, but was just as unsuccessful.

"It's okay," Elsa assured, blocking Anna's hand as she reached for her face a third time, then wiped her own chin with a small towel.

She cocked her head at Anna before both girls burst into laughter, leaning into each other as they bent over and clutched their ribs.

A knock on Anna's chamber door called their attention as a servant announced that Princess Rapunzel and her husband Prince Eugene Fitzherbert, were headed up the castle gates. Elsa immediately rose from the bed but Anna held her back, gripping onto the hem of Elsa's dress.

"Were not done yet," Anna asserted, holding up a ball of gauze. "Didn't I already say that they would just have to wait?"

~X~

They didn't greet their guests until dinner. Anna had spent the better part of an hour wrapping and rewrapping the gauze around Elsa's hand and wrist, all the while blushing hotly as she fumbled each try. As exasperated as Elsa had grown with her sister, she couldn't contain the small smile that fought its way across her lips. Anna, for all her spaztic neurosis, was beyond adorable whenever she tried her hand at something new. And first aid was on the top of that list.

As soon as they met up with their quests in one of the common rooms, Elsa had intended to apologize for not being able to properly receive them earlier, but Rapunzel had beaten her to it, professing that they had not confirmed the length of their journey when they first sent word of their impeding visit. For all her quirky and animated gestures, Elsa couldn't help but notice how uneasy and reserved her cousin's husband looked, or how he'd stiffly bowed when she'd first greeted him upon entering.

Unlike her sister, Anna practically assaulted their guests with handshakes, going from one guest to the next and greeting them with enthused vigor.

Elsa shook her head and sighed but Rapunzel and Eugene only laughed.

"Quite the grip you got there," Eugene commented.

"Was it too much?" Anna asked as she let go his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm only accustomed to shaking hands with suits of steel armor."

"Is that so?" Eugene mused, finding the quirky younger Arendelle royal much to his liking. The fact that he didn't find her the slightest bit terrifying also helped.

"Well, not in a crazy way," she backtracked, realizing just how odd her statement must have sounded, meanwhile her sister resisted burying her face flat in her hand, nursing the embarrassment on behalf of the far-too-candid princess.

"Oh, nothing wrong with a little bit of crazy," the yet-to-be-introduced Augustus Hawkins quipped, grinning boyishly as he came forward. He was a handsome fellow, tan complexioned with a small scar just under his right eye, and his long brown hair tied back in a ponytail.

Taking the lead, he shook the princess's hand.

"Augustus James Hawkins," he introduced himself. "You probably don't remember, but we've met before as children."

Anna tilted her head, a little taken back, as she tried to place him with a younger version of himself from memory, but drew a total blank.

"I'm not surprised that you don't remember," he went on. "You were quite small, I think you were four and Elsa was seven. Although, I may as well have been invisible when I was around the two of you," he added. "You were always too busy chasing after Elsa, that you barely ever noticed I was alive."

Augustus suddenly turned to the queen and bowed. "I apologize for addressing you so informally, Your Majesty. I was careless."

"No need for that," Elsa replied. "There's no need for any of you to address me so formally, it's not like I'm going to turn you into ice statues if you don't address me by title," she joked. "'Elsa' will do just fine."

Eugene laughed nervously, but promptly stopped when his wife's elbow dug into his ribs.

"Wait," Elsa furrowed her brows as realization dawned on her. "Hawkins? Are you the son of the Marquise of Montressor?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. I mean, yes, Elsa," Augustus quickly corrected himself.

Anna frowned.

"The _who_ of _where_ , now?"

"Sarah Hawkins. She's mother's and Aunt Isabella's cousin," Elsa explained.

"Well, _was_ ," Augustus interjected awkwardly. "My mother passed away a little over two years ago. She was taken by pneumonia".

"We are so sorry for your loss, Augustus," Elsa consoled, and Anna nodded solemnly preferring her more eloquent sister to offer their respects. "Mother mentioned her to me on several occasions. She said they were quite close as children, and the best of friends growing up."

"My mother used to say the same," Augustus replied. A bittersweet smile formed at the corners of his mouth. "She loved her very much, you know.  And she was heartbroken when she heard of your parents' passing. She'd been good friend with King Argos as well. They'd all grown up together."

A solemn silence fell over the room. Rapunzel and Eugene cast their respective gazes to the floor, and Anna linked her arm possessively around Elsa's. Augustus opened his mouth to apologize for the dark cloud that had fallen over them, when their final, unaddressed guest cleared her throat and broken the spell.

Eugene and Rapunzel quickly looked up, embarrassed by their negligence, but Augustus was the first to spring to action, pulling the young girl from her corner of the room and gallantly presenting her before the queen.

She was a pretty thing, mousy with raven black hair and flowing locks that came down across her shoulders, and large hazel eyes with striking golden flecks. The girl presented Elsa with a rather deep bow and gazed up shyly at the monarch as she straightened her stance.

"Elsa, meet Felicity Malachi, the _magnificent_ daughter of the _esteemed_ Duke of Crestmark, Richard Malachi and his wife, Duchess Mahlia," Augustus introduced, playfully mocking. "Felicity is their sole heir."

Anna couldn't ignore the look of absolute fascination on the girl's face as she looked upon her sister. It was hard to miss, just like there was no mistaking the girl's infatuation with Augustus Hawkins, with the way she blushingly sought him out with her wistful eyes. Or the eagerness that seemed to bubble out from her shy demeanor.

" _Well, isn't she cute as a button?"_ Anna commented to Elsa just under her breath, leaning in close enough to ensure that the queen could hear her. Elsa gave her sister's face a quick glance, unable to discern from the tone in her voice what she'd meant by that. But the neutral smile on Anna's lips offered no further insight, and Elsa was far more distracted by the tingling hum in her ear to pursue the thought any further.

~X~

Preparations for a grand ball were well underway and the kingdom was abuzz with excitement. Just months before, there had been little hope that the castle gates would ever open, or at the very least, remain so, but since then, the world beyond the walls was invited in and the Arendelle royal sisters had finally traversed into that very world. And now that world would include the prince and princess of Corona as the honored guests.

But despite the guests' early arrival, the festivities continued according to plan. Not that anyone minded. Eugene and Rapunzel were grateful for the extra days of peace, and Felicity seemed content following Augustus around like a lovelorn puppy. The entire castle staff had taken to calling Miss Malachi 'The Marquis Shadow' behind closed doors. Although Anna thought that 'stalker' was more fitting, it was her slip of the tongue that lead to Miss Malachi's unfortunate nickname. Augustus, for all his exasperation, took it with stride, but still took great pains to avoid his 'shadow' whenever an opportunity opened. It wasn't long before word had gotten around that Marquis Augustus Hawkins was afraid of his own 'shadow.'

Anna was leery of Felicity for more than just her stalker qualities. As soon as Augustus managed to duck away from Felicity's doe-eyed clutches, the girl would latch herself onto Elsa at the first chance she got.

"H-how does it make you feel?" Felicity had timidly asked Elsa about her powers. "T-t-to have so much power coursing inside you?" A slight nervous stutter hitched the words in her throat.

"Is it like when you get a chill up your spine?" Felicity went on, not waiting for an answer.

She'd been so curious about the specifics. _Did she ever use incantations? Potions? Amulets?_ _Had she tried pushing the boundaries of her abilities?_ And Elsa hadn't seemed the slightest bit concerned, but Anna was determined to rectify that.

Once Anna was certain she had Elsa all to herself, she practically pinned her against the glass wall in the solarium. Elsa had been far too surprised by Anna's bold move to react with anything more than a startled gasp.

"Anna, what do you think you're d—" Elsa managed to say before Anna silenced her lips with her hand.

"Shhh…she might be near," Anna whispered then listened intently for any possible discrepancies in the stillness of the solarium. Had the princess's hand not been clasped over Elsa's mouth, she might have inquired as to who Anna was talking about. Instead, with Anna so near, Elsa could help but focus on the details again. The freckles across the bridge of her sister's nose. The way they spread out across her cheeks and tapered off over her natural blush. And the soft feathery lashes that curled up just enough. Anna, for all her boyish mannerisms, was decidedly lovely, even the crinkled brow she wore as she scanned the room added to her charm.

The princess pulled her hand away from Elsa's mouth, satisfied with her affirmation that they were both completely alone and hidden from the scrutinizing gaze of Felicity Malachi. Without Anna's hand between them, Elsa was far too aware of how their faces felt surprisingly closer. They were only inches apart, and Elsa couldn't help but wonder why they remained so closely confined in such an expansive room. She stared anxiously into Anna's eyes, hoping to silently relate her discomfort, but Anna's face was colored with single-minded determination, and was completely unreceptive to Elsa's signals.

"You need to keep away from Felicity," Anna demanded point blank.

Elsa stared back in surprise, her mouth agape.

 _All this…over that,_ Elsa wondered. _She can't possibly be serious._

"Oh, I'm serious," Anna replied, having clearly read the look of disbelief on her sister's face.

"You're not making any sense."

"But you've seen what she's like with Augustus. The way she follows him around, practically clinging onto him during his _every_ _waking moment_ ," Anna persisted.

"Rapunzel and Eugene don't seem to be alarmed about her," Elsa pointed out. "And she's been traveling with them for a while now."

Anna sighed and shook her head in frustration.

"Of course they're not alarmed about her. She's not getting all clingy on them. But she has Augustus practically running in the opposite direction just to avoid her."

"Anna, that's hardly cause for con—" Elsa began to say before Anna quickly cut her off.

"Haven't you noticed how she latches onto you when he's not around? Always asking weird questions. How does that not concern you?"

Elsa cleared her throat, feeling her patience quickly dissipate.

"We really shouldn't be talking about this."

"But she can't be trusted," Anna insisted. "She's just so, so…creepy."

"She's our guest, Anna. And we don't malign our guests, especially if they've done nothing to deserve it." As insensible as Anna was acting, Elsa still couldn't comprehend the extent of her increasing agitation with her sister, or why Anna had yet to cast some physical distance between them. Something about their close proximity felt painful in a way that Elsa quite couldn't describe. Not a physical pain, but something that weighed more from within.

"She's got stalker written all over her, Elsa. Of course she's up to no good!"

She was tempted to slip away but couldn't bring herself to do it. It would have been easy with the smooth glass on her back too, but she was locked in by Anna's passionate temperance, however unreasonable it may have been.

Elsa exhaled sharply.

"I'm not going to keep away from anyone, Anna," she replied. "It's mean spirited and it's absurd."

As soon as those last words left her mouth, she wanted to take them back. Anna's crestfallen face and her slumped shoulders were more than Elsa could bear. There would be no time for apologies, however; a clatter of footsteps had made their way into the solarium and the princess was immediately stricken with panic. She took the queen's hand and inconspicuously dragged her out of the solarium and into one of the adjourning sitting rooms. Elsa briefly wondered if their future would be chock full of moments with Anna dragging her along somewhere. If so, she realized, she didn't really mind it.

The room itself was not the destination that Anna had in mind. They paused briefly at the entrance, the princess's hand still firmly clasped around her sister's as she scanned the room before tugging her along toward the window.

Elsa didn't even bother to question her when Anna pulled them behind the large velvet curtains, and pressed up against her. In light of her younger sister's quirky sensibilities, it was peculiar but hardly unexpected.

"I'm sorry," Anna whispered. "I didn't mean it like that."

But the older sister could hardly respond. Her face flushed red as she realized that her arms were wedged between them and pressed against Anna's chest, even as her sister clung onto her shoulders.

"I'm not exactly sure why it bothered me so much," Anna confessed. "Felicity's a little crazy, but she's harmless. Especially to you."

Elsa nodded.

"Anna, I…" she swallowed, finding it a bit difficult to breath. "I don't think you're mean spirited. Not at all. I didn't mean it that way either."

The queen's face burned brighter and Anna frowned.

"Are you alright, Elsa?" She asked as she pressed a cool hand against her sister's forehead. "You're hot. I didn't expect that."

 _I'm not alright,_ she wanted to say. _Something is very wrong here._

Something from within was gradually beginning to unravel. A small seed of fear had made its way into her heart and was slowly beginning to grow, fed by the increasing palpitations of her heartbeat and the warmth of Anna's body pressed against hers.

"Ice doesn't run in my veins," she told her, all the while wishing that it had.

Anna smiled at her, and the seed inside Elsa's heart expanded.

"I didn't say that," the princess gently replied as she tilted her head, and Elsa remained very aware that Anna had yet to remove her hand.

"I'm fine." Elsa said softly, the words constricting in her throat.

It was at that moment that the curtains that enveloped them were drawn apart, and Elsa quickly pulled away, clearly unnerved as a pair of green eyes smiled back at them. Anna simply grinned back sheepishly.

"There you are!" Rapunzel enthused. "The first ship of delegates has already arrived, and your staff has been looking for the two of you everywhere."

… ** _to be continued…_**

 _Next Time on_ **_Beyond the Every After_ ** _:_

The flashback sequence will continue and feature:

-The upcoming Grand Ball

-Pungent boyfriends

-Unexpected kisses

-Too much wine consumption

-Green-eyed monsters

-More Disney cameos

-Bad hangovers

-and a rapping snowman

_Okay...so maybe not all of the above..._

**_Gag Reel: Alternate Lines_ **

**_Kristoff:_ ** _"Should I be worried? Not sure how I feel about competing with the queen for her sister's affections, especially since I'm obviously foreshadowing just now in a very calculating flashback sequence."_

 **_Anna:_ ** _"Don't do that to yourself, okay? I like having my sister back. Besides, we've lived too long with these high walls between us. Isn't it just better to put that all behind us and just enjoy getting to know each other all over again? And I have all kinds of massage oils to help us with that last part. You prefer chocolate flavored, right?"_

 **_Elsa:_ ** _"Anna, I…I don't think you're mean spirited. Not at all. I didn't mean-damn it! I'm sorry, but the fact that my hands are practically cupping your breasts is much too distracting. Ah, would you say that you're a size b? You feel like a b cup."_

 **_Rapunzel:_ ** _"There you are! Oh gosh, coitus interruptus..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be much longer, but it was going to take me too long to finish, so I've gone ahead and split it in two. 
> 
> Feedback is always welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of three of the Flashback sequence.

 

Whenever Elsa moved, it was with the refinement of delicate brushstrokes. She didn't strut or prance, or trot. She was never so indelicate, rather she always quietly arrayed. Her movements were like tempered strokes along the ice, each fluid step indiscernible from the next. Her pale skin and her fine near-perfect features were akin to an ice sculpture come to life, much like the one that had been painstakingly carved and displayed in the market square by an enamored young artisan the winter before. An honor that was lessened by her own embarrassment.

The same could not be said about Anna. If Elsa was the moon, then Anna was the sun.

The princess was neither delicate nor polished. Even the gait of her walk was about as reckless as her fiery will. She pranced and stormed, rambled and bellowed, and was a picture of delightful disarray. What she lacked in grace she made up for in dauntless bravery. Lucky and thoughtless, her actions were often spurred by emotions rather than reason; a mirror opposite to her picture-perfect sister.

And yet, when the drapes were drawn open and their cousin looked on expectantly, Elsa was disquieted with trepidation. Instead of a poised and temperate queen, a quivering mass of nerves took her place. She couldn't look her cousin in the eyes, and didn't dare look at Anna. But as luck would have it, she didn't have to; there was still the matter of the visiting delegates that required address. And the ball.

"I should go meet them," Elsa quickly resolved, and before Rapunzel could say another word, she brushed past her, mumbling her goodbyes. Her cousin watched her leave, dumbstruck by Elsa's graceless exit.

"Was it something I said?" Rapunzel pondered out loud not bothering to glance back at her younger cousin.

"Ah, no," Anna answered sheepishly as she fidgeted with her necklace. "Definitely my doing."

Rapunzel hadn't actually expected a reply, and only vaguely nodded as Anna wordlessly followed in same direction her sister has vanished off to.

"And I thought I was awkward," the older cousin muttered to the empty room.

Anna nearly ran just to catch up to Elsa's brisk pace. The queen wasn't much taller than her, and yet her strides easily took on more distance.

"Elsa, please wait!" Anna pleaded as they neared the end of the hallway.

And she did. Although Anna wasn't actually expecting her to stop at that very moment, and smacked right into her.

_I really need to stop doing that._

But there no dramatic tumbling to the floor, or skidding across the room. As soon as she bumped Elsa's back, she slipped her arms around her sister's waist and held on tightly to keep them from toppling over.

"I have somewhere to be right now," Elsa nearly choked out.

"I know but, I just need to know. We _are_ okay, _right_?" Anna let go of her waist and set her hand on Elsa's shoulder. The queen was glad that Anna could not see the distress on her face whenever she felt her touch. "After all," the princess went on. "We did do the whole ' _I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry'_ thing just a moment ago."

"It's fine, Anna."

"But you didn't _seem_ fine when you left. If anything, you seemed pretty agitated."

"It's fine. We're fine. I just have a lot on my mind right now." She patted Anna's hand before pulling away from her. "Try not to be late tonight, okay?"

And she walked away without waiting for a reply.

~X~

Elsa had never heard of the Principality of New York, nor was she familiar with the Tremains of Queens, and yet she had not acceded to any of the tells that would give away her confusion during her brief conversation with Queen Nancy of Andalasia. The queen's animated and unconventional speech and casual demeanor had left Elsa baffled at best. So when Queen Nancy described the late Queen Narissa of Andalasia's tirade as "going on a total power trip" and started calling Elsa "girlfriend", the younger queen had no clue how to react or interpret the peculiar vernacular.

Her confusion must have been plainer in her eyes than she'd realized because, not long after, King Edward stole his queen away with an anxious smile strained on his face.

The ball was well underway and Princess Anna had yet to make an appearance in the three hours since.

_Of course, she's late._ But the fact of the matter was that Elsa was just as relived as she was annoyed.

"Such an oddity, that one," Rapunzel commented as she joined her cousin.

Elsa briefly paused, then nodded as she realized that her cousin was alluding to Queen Nancy. "We probably seem just as odd to them with our own unique customs and expressions."

"I suppose you're right."

"Still…' _girlfriend'_?"

"Well, a member of her entourage did mention that the new queen of Andalasia's become a sort of trendsetter in her kingdom," Rapunzel replied. "Although, she's not the only one," she added as she pointedly looked to a group of gregarious young girls, all donning French braids.

"Seems like you have your share of groupies."

Elsa cocked her head, " _groupies_?"

"Queen Nancy's expressions are pretty contagious," her bemused cousin replied.

Elsa laughed. "I doubt that I'm the reason for that trend."

Rapunzel gave her cousin her most emphatically incredulous look.

"Of course it's because of you," she said without a trace of irony. "You're not just their queen…you're like this magical ice fairy, and they all want to see some part of your magic in themselves."

"Cheeseball?" An overzealous waiter swooped a silver platter just mere centimeters from Rapunzel's her face. Startled and wide-eyed, she slowly pushed the platter away and silently declined.

Elsa smiled, her cheeks colored a bit from her cousin's flattery, but she remained unconvinced.

"I'm hardly a fairy, and certainly no trendsetter."

"But you are quite magical," a deep-set voice chimed in. "You're benevolence, and beauty, and magic all rolled into one. What's not to like about that?"

The two royals turned to find Lord Augustus Hawkins making his way toward them, with Eugene and an overly eager Felicity Malachi in tow. Lady Malachi practically scurried as she struggled to keep up with Augustus' long strides. On the other hand, Eugene was more than a little reluctant, and it showed, even under the smiling façade. He didn't dare meet his wife's eyes, all too aware of the somber glare she directed his way. If Queen Elsa's ice didn't kill him, his wife's fiery glare was bound to.

"Paranoid idiot," Rapunzel muttered beyond earshot as she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

Elsa, on the other hand, was brightly flushed and hot with embarrassment. If ever there was doubt that her blood ran as warm as everyone else, then this was her proof. Despite the magnitude of her ice magic, she could not will away the color from her cheeks.

"Anyone up for champagne? Dessert, maybe?" Eugene asked, donning his tightest smile and looking for any excuse to get away.

"I supposed we could all do with a drink," Augustus replied. "But I'm sure that we can just flag down a waiter."

He surveyed the crowded ballroom and raised an arm to call attention to a long wavy-haired serving girl carrying a tray of Champagne flutes. She wore large gold hoop earrings and her olive complexion accentuated her emerald green eyes. They were striking, disarming enough to momentarily disengage him from the moment. Augustus was about to call out to her when Eugene grabbed his arm by the sleeve of his jacket and yanked it down. Elsa raised a brow, and Rapunzel twitched hers.

"Oh no, it would be my pleasure!" Eugene insisted as he released his arm and backed away, already starting toward the refreshments table.

"And I'll help," Rapunzel added as she smiled through grit teeth, and hurried after him. Within moments they were squabbling in hushed voices and Elsa could have sworn she heard her cousin threaten to knock out her husband with a frying pan.

Augustus laughed. "Those two have been like that since we docked."

"Yes," Elsa agreed, with a touch of laughter in her voice. "Although I'm probably to blame for that."

"And how did you manage that?" Augustus asked, his effervescent grin still lingering on his lips.

"Oh, didn't take much, really," she replied.

Felicity noted the stiffness in Elsa's smile and the nervous quiver of her chuckle, and easily guessed that the queen already knew.

"He's afraid of you," Felicity stated simply.

"Yes."

Augustus' eyes widened in surprise.

"You've known?"

Elsa nodded. "Really hard not to, especially when he looks like someone poisoned his wine every time I walk into the room."

"Oh that," Augustus replied knowingly. "Well, that's because I _have_ been poising his wine."

He said it so earnestly that Elsa almost couldn't tell he was joking.

"In all seriousness though, if I know Eugene, he's just blowing this whole thing out of proportion in his head. It won't be long before he realizes how idiotic he's been."

The mousy Miss Malachi simply nodded her agreement, and all the while, Elsa couldn't help but think how little presence the girl had. For all her energy, whenever she was in the queen's presence, she seemed to vanish into the background much like the paintings on the wall.

She was often the echo in group conversations, contributing little more than an agreeable gesture; all replies with nothing new to offer as she resolved to keep as little distance as she could between herself and the Marquis, almost like a child clinging to his coattails.

_The Marquis' Shadow._

It swelled her with guilt to even think it. The words seemed inoffensive enough, but she knew how painfully those words could resonate. The whisperings of _The Snow Queen_ didn't bother her in the slightest, but the more snide utterances of _Ice Queen_ behind closed doors still put her on edge.

And just about the entire castle staff perceived Felicity Malachi as some sort of stalker.  
Anna had told Elsa as much.

However, whatever shortcomings may have contributed to the girl's reputation within the castle walls, it appeared to have not reached the ears of the Duke of Finland. At that precise moment he intruded to ask for the honor of a dance with the young girl. His request was barely audible under the long dark bangs that fell over his face.

"D-dance with me?"

Felicity looked over nervously at Augustus, silently pleading him to rescue her from the timidly endearing Finnish Duke, whose thick beard made him seem older than his twenty-three years. If Augustus noticed, he certainly didn't show it, and Felicity could do no more than open her mouth like a stunned fish before the duke whisked her off onto the dance floor.

As soon she disappeared into the crowd, Augustus closed his eyes and exhaled sharply, tension quickly leaving his body.

"That poor girl," Elsa lamented. "I can't help but pity her a little."

Augustus looked up in surprise for the second time that night, the question clear on his face.

"She's pining after someone she can't have."

The Marquis looked away, stricken with guilt.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You mean that she's very much in love with you? Or that you don't return her affections?" She did not say it unkindly, and yet Augustus felt the sting of her words like a slap on the face. The concern reflecting back at him only made him feel worse.

"I'm not out to hurt her," he insisted. "God knows, that's not the sort of man I want to be."

He was smiling now, a boyish grin lavished his face, apologetic but impish and charming, yet Elsa could see it for the mask that it was. How easily he wore it from years of practice, she surmised, much like she'd donned hers.

Elsa reached for his hand and squeezed it, surprising him once more. His hand was bigger than hers and only slightly rougher, she hadn't anticipated that. Even after she'd come to terms with her powers, Elsa had had little physical contact with men other than her father, and even then not since she was a child had he dared to hold onto her ungloved hands. She could barely remember the feel of her late father's hands, except that they were calloused and cold. But as Augustus pressed his other hand over hers, she was keenly aware of the heat transmitted from his fingers and the softness of his touch, and how it filled her with an unforeseen yearning.

"Your hand is warm," Augustus remarked. "I did not expect that."

"You wouldn't be the only one," she replied, and Augustus cocked his head in confusion. "Oh, so you didn't hear? According to Queen Nancy, I'm especially cold."

"That's not quite right," he countered as he gently squeezed and released her hand. "She actually said that you're _pretty cool_. And _no_ , it does not mean what you think it does," he quickly added as Elsa's face began to dissolve into a frown.

"Another of her majesty's colorful expressions?" She asked dubiously.

"I know you don't care much for her, but under the right circumstances you two would be the best of friends. Thick as thieves, even."

He expected her to respond with a subversive retort, perhaps a sarcastic quip, and although she didn't utter a single contrary word, the subtle scoff and the roll of her eyes was enough to satisfy his expectations.

"Perhaps the problem is that she is too much like you," he suggested smugly. Something about Elsa's composure, and the fact that he was desperate to avoid any more talk of Felicity's unreciprocated love, made him feel like a five year old looking to pick a fight.

"I don't see that."

"No? Just look at the way she carries herself, there's confidence and grace and unassuming majesty-"

"And then she opens her mouth," the queen interjected.

"True." He concede, "But you have to look at the way she speaks. It's not boisterous and exaggerated - _like some royal sister that shall remain nameless_." He added with a wink. "She's careful and sincere with an undercurrent of energy that just draws you in."

"That was…very eloquent."

"It's all part of my charm," Augustus jokingly professed to his unconvinced audience of one.

Elsa returned a soft smile and considered how kind his eyes were. A light blue, almost gray, with a touch of sorrow that persisted behind the laughter. It was that lingering sorrow that seemed like a mirror to her own.

And then there was Anna. Unlike them, Anna's eyes often glimmered with pure delight. For Elsa, there was no comparison.

A whimper followed by a startled gasp, drew their attention to the dance floor where Lady Felicity Malachi and her timid admirer had garnered the attention of a sizeable group of spectators. Much to her alarm, her dance partner took her by the hips and expertly launched her midair into a throw-twist.

Drawn by curiosity, Elsa inched her way closer to the dance floor for a better look, increasingly cognizant of Rapunzel and Eugene's clamoring antics echoing in the distance as she also drew closer to the kitchen. Augustus moved beside Elsa, standing nearly shoulder to shoulder, stunned as they watched the Finnish Duke twirl and dip a stiffly poised Felicity. Although 'dip' was hardly the word for it; as she twirled, her heel caught on the hem of her dress which sent her cascading backwards, only to be caught effortlessly by the quick-thinking duke. The horror stricken expression on her face remained etched well after.

"Surprising, isn't he?" Augustus whispered to Elsa as he leaned in, marveling at the duke's acrobatics. His breath tickled the hairs on her neck. "He's got the socials skills of a mute, but the moves of a playboy."

Elsa laughed. It wasn't very long ago that Anna had been spun around like a ragdoll on the dance floor by the weaseling duke of Weselton. An honor that she had deflected rather unremorsefully to her sister.

"Now if only those moves would win over the heart of your overtly-eager companion."

But Augustus was not so hopeful. "I'd hardly call the look on her face as being anything close to being swept off her feet. At least not figuratively," he replied shaking his head. Another spin on the dance floor and Felicity went from horrified to green.

"Oh, this is not going to end well…"

~X~

"Come on, there is nothing to be worried about," Anna insisted as she did her best to pry Kristoff away from the mirror. "You look _fine_."

They'd been standing in the hallway outside the ballroom for the last ten minutes. As soon as they prepared to enter the ball, Mister Anxious would find a new reason to fidget and delay. This time it was his necktie.

She grunted as she pushed and then pulled but despite her best efforts, Kristoff remained as unmoved as a rock troll. An anxious rock troll, anyway. Try as he might, no amount of readjusting could make his cravat stay in place. With every one of his movements, the tie would come untucked from his vest. He cursed under his breath.

"Here, let me!" Anna said gruffly as she slapped his hands away and briskly unbuttoned his vest. With almost no effort, she undid and reknotted the necktie and refastened the buttons of the vest over the cravat, pulling at it just enough to loosen it slightly.

"Try moving," she instructed. He did and was impressed to find that the necktie stayed in place.

"Good?" Anna looked up expectantly and with look that clearly implied a short life if he chose to answer with anything other than the affirmative.

Kristoff nodded, wondering if his necktie was really all that was bothering her. "It's good."

"Great, because I want to show off my handsome boyfriend without having to explain his neurotic self-grooming _every_ five seconds."

This time, when she took his hand and lead him into the ballroom, he made no objections, taking only a brief pause in front of the mirror to comb his fingers through his hair and take a whiff of his underarms. _No reindeer smell._

He frowned.

"Anna?" he whispered loudly as they crossed through the ballroom doors. "How is it that you can fasten a man's necktie like a pro?"

~X~

Rapunzel could have been a professional lawn tennis player. Her masterful form as she swung the cast-iron skillet just millimeters from Eugene's head would have impressed him had he not been too preoccupied with keeping his body intact. Not that she would have actually made contact. Rapunzel was not so blood thirsty. She was, however, livid. Enough to put the fear of god into her husband with the next best thing to a sledge hammer.

"But I was being nice!" Eugene cried out defensively. He leaped over the island counter, nearly taking down a four-tiered cake, and waved his fingers apologetically at the pastry chef whose mustache had managed to scrap off some of the decorative icing from the second tier when he shielded the cake from the kitchen intruders.

The man cursed as he squeezed icing out of his mustache.

"You were being a transparent jackass!" Eugene's wife resorted.

Rapunzel stepped out of her shoes and quickly rounded the corner. The kitchen floor appeared to have been recently waxed, and traction was so much easier to gain with bare feet. Eugene tried to back away, but one of the dozen kitchen helpers milling around the kitchen, and scurrying back and forth through the revolving doors, unintentionally blocked his path. Before he knew it, his petite barefoot wife had the cast-iron skillet tightly pressed against his nose. He fought the urge to sneeze.

"I promise to try harder," Eugene pleaded sincerely. Not two meters away, the pastry chef rolled his eyes and scoffed as he quickly smooth out the icing on the cake and slid it onto a wheeled cart.

Rapunzel's expression softened but she wasn't satisfied with that reply.

"It's not enough to try. You have to _do_ better," she lectured, but the edge in her voice was gone. "Just promise me that you won't be finding any more excuses to weasel away _every time_ my cousin is around."

" _Every_ time?"

"Eugene!"

He unabashedly raised a flirtatious brow at his exasperated wife, and she felt what little remained of her frustration yield to his playful nonchalance. The skillet was still firmly crammed against his nose. When she inched it away, she noted the large indentation left just under the bridge of his nose, much like the old wanted posters he'd insufferably ranted about in the past.

Rapunzel was about to comment on it when a loud retching sound thunderously reverberated from the ballroom not far beyond the swinging kitchen door.

What happened next was something akin to a domino effect.

Eugene, startled by the wretched noise, suddenly turned his head at the exact instant that his wife was doing the same thing. With the skillet in her hand now completely forgotten, Rapunzel unwittingly swung down her arm and slammed it into her husband's upturned face. Realizing what she'd done and flustered with guilt, she swung her arm back and dropped the iron-cast skillet over her shoulder, but not without inadvertently striking him once again on her backswing, this time under the chin.

"So much…pain," he uttered hoarsely as he dropped backward onto his ass, his legs stretched out on the floor in front of him.

Without skipping a beat, one of the cooks turned, and before Rapunzel could stop him, tripped over Eugene's legs, stumbling forward and slamming into the swinging doors, dropping a bowl of fish sauce in the process. Oddly enough, the doors appeared to break his fall when they were stopped from completely opening and ejecting him out into the ballroom by some obstruction on the other side.

The cook swiped the back of his hand against his forehead and sighed with relief, only to tense up again when a high pitched scream pierced its way into the kitchen from the other side of the door.

Eugene immediately recognized the surly mustached pastry chef as the owner of the girlish scream.

"Well, that's not going to end well," he commented as an equally guilty-looking Rapunzel helped him up to his feet.

~X~

Anna and Kristoff were descending the staircase when they heard the scream. She didn't have to search the crowd for long when she spotted Andre, the castle pastry chef, chasing after a runaway four-layered cake on top of a wheeled cart. Guests quickly moved out of the way as the cake hurled toward the dance floor. Andre propelled himself forward as he ran, managing to latch onto the cart handle, but just as his hands got a firm grip he lost his footing over a puddle of vomit. Being far too front-heavy to handle, the cart flipped backward and catapulted the cake into Augustus and Elsa.

Augustus took the brunt of the onslaught. He'd only had a fraction of a second to react when he realized that they were in the cake's direct trajectory, and he quickly pressed himself against the queen as her human shield.

Buttercream icing exploded all over him as the dessert made impact, covering him head to toe and forcing its way into his mouth and up his nostrils. He tasted buttercream, chocolate pound cake and raspberry jam, which he could only assume was the filling.

Anna and Kristoff dashed over to meet them and arrived just as a breathless Rapunzel and Eugene had joined them; one barefoot and both clearly sheepish with guilt, although Anna could not begin to guess why.

"Is everyone all right?" Kristoff inquired looking for any signs of injury. Behind him, a nervous pastry chef sputtered an inaudible apology before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Despite the Marquis' best efforts, Elsa was heavily muddied in cake. He may have bore the brunt of the impact, but the top tier had still managed to topple over his head and splatter all over the queen.

"Oh god. Elsa!" Anna dashed over to her sister, pushing past a blinded Augustus as he wiped icing and cake from his eyes.

Compared to Augustus, who appeared to be wearing the entire cake as a body of armor, Elsa was only covered from her head down to her mid torso, wearing a giant clump of it as a sort of makeshift top hat. Although the top tier of the cake was made from the same buttercream and chocolate pound cake as the bottom three tiers, the filling was a soft-whipped chocolate fudge, a special request by Elsa that she was now wearing in her braided hair and was dripping all over her dress.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked as she reached for the queen's arm, but hesitated and dropped her hand to her side. Things still felt awkward with them after their argument earlier that day. She wasn't sure if she had been avoiding Elsa or if Elsa had been avoiding her since then.

Elsa was not eager to respond. She cocked her head to the side and a giant clump of cake glopped off her head, and down her chest, then splattered at her feet. Her hair was now a dark chocolate brunette with what appeared to be dirty blonde highlights.

Perhaps it was due to the tension that had been weighing on her all day, or perhaps it was how absurd Elsa looked in her chocolate syrup dye job, whatever the reason, Anna burst into a vigorous laugh, so hard that it echoed.

For Felicity Malachi, who was still green after heaving on the dance floor, Anna's laughter was the last straw on her mounting embarrassment and humiliation. She turned and ran out the nearest door, the world around her drowned out by her tears and soft whimpering sobs.

"I should go after her," Rapunzel reasoned before she followed after the girl, with her husband trailing not far behind.

Elsa was too busy glaring at her sister to notice her cousin's quick exit.

"Done?" She asked as Anna's laughter subsided.

"For now, anyway," was her reply as she wiped a tear from her eye, seemingly ignorant to Elsa's sullen disposition.

"I think you may be done for the night, though," Anna added, thoughtfully brushing her fingers along Elsa's forehead, swiping off the chocolate fudge that was beading down. The queen trembled and pulled away, but the princess appeared not to take notice as she tasted the chocolate on her fingers.

"I'm probably done as well," Augustus chimed in as he rubbed off globs of icing from his shirt sleeve.

Castle staff had already gathered to clean up the scene and one of the attendants began to wipe the Marquis down with a towel. The music had come to a complete stop and most of the guests had cleared off of the dance floor as the cleaning was underway, but their prying and sympathetic eyes remained fixed on the unfortunate queen and her party. Watching and waiting.

"This should help." Kristoff offered Elsa his handkerchief in kind, only to realize how useless it was when globs of fudge cake clumped down her head and completely soiled the cloth in her hand.

"Thanks," she replied coolly. "I appreciate the gesture, but Anna's right, I am done for the day. I'll leave it up to you two to looks after things here."

Anna took Kristoff's arm and beamed proudly.

"You can count on us." She snuggled tightly against him like an adoring cat, and grinned widely. Elsa tensed and bit the inside of her cheek, feeling an unfounded irritation rising inside her.

She returned a tight smile before turning to a young maid and instructing her to have Gerda prepare the baths and a change of clothing for herself and Lord Hawkins. They would be on their way.

"Shall we, my queen?" Augustus quipped ironically, offering his sticky arm to Elsa.

She glanced back at Anna who was now addressing the musicians to "play something fun", while Kristoff remained no more than an arm's distance from her. As if sensing her staring, he turned to meet her eyes with his. There was a sort of endless depth in them that made her believe that maybe he could see right through her and into all her private thoughts and feelings. Feelings that crumbled the boundaries of reason. Elsa tore away from his gaze and gave a preoccupied Anna one last look before she turned her attention back to Augustus.

"Absolutely," she replied, linking her arm with his as they exited the ballroom.

**_…to be continued…_**  

**GAG REEL EXTRAS:**

**Elsa:**   _(skimming chapter)_ So wait. Am I into men?  Am I some sexually ambiguous or possibly wantonly bi-curious tease?  Is that even a thing for me in the Elsanna fandom?

**Kristoff:** _(Grins and winks at Elsa)_

**Elsa:** _(Shudders)_

**Anna:**  At least you're not playing second fiddle to some random character who's not even in Frozen!  I'm not sure that I'm even in this chapter.

**Olaf:**  Let’s hug and cuddle! ^_^

**Elsa/Anna:** Shut it, snowcone!

**Olaf:** D:

**Kristoff:** I just wanna know what happened to all the alcohol we were promised.  I even brought my lucky beer guzzling helmet.  See?  It has two beer compartments…and it also comes with this nifty straw.

**Anna:** Not til the next chapter, at least that’s what I read in the chapter five draft.

**Kristoff:** _(tears chapter and storms off grumbling)_ @#$% &!

**Rapunzel:** _(to Eugene)_ This is not going to end well…


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has not been edited.

Within minutes, Anna had the room bursting with energy once more as brass and string instruments swelled and vibrated off the ballroom walls. Guests continued to talk about the cake fiasco, gushing with gusto, but at least now they were also dancing again.

The dance floor grew denser as wine and champagne flowed freely. Many of the visiting diplomats became less than diplomatic as they burned through flutes and glasses of liquor. Cravats came undone and high heels were discarded as royals cast off formalities for whimsy, and bottles of booze.

Anna was no exception.

Kristoff hadn't noticed the champagne flute in her hand that never seemed to empty. Her energy was so intoxicating, that it easily masked her inebriation.

 _Something is bothering her,_ he surmised.

He had the same feeling from Elsa.

She'd barely reacted when she was pummeled by the cake canon. Not so much as a gasp or a whimper. Just her unnerving silence.

Then there was that look she gave him, like he was an intruder.

Kristoff couldn't imagine ever being a part of Anna's world. She was a free spirit, but not free enough to cast away the formalities and stiff collars that dominated her society. Elsa was the embodiment of that world, and Anna had her role to play in it. On the other hand, Kristoff was just the boyfriend, free to come and go from this world at his choosing, but never actually a part of it. He didn't belong, and Elsa probably hated him for it.

"Lez do it again!" Anna cried out, taking Kristoff's hand and dragging him onto the dance floor. He dutifully complied, certain that the night from hell was never going to end. He'd never danced so much in his life, and was now convinced that it was a social convention with the sole purpose of humiliating men for having inappropriately fun fantasies about their girlfriends.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled his face closer to hers, which would have been romantic had the princess not practically been choking him with her vice-like grip.

"You haaave such kisssable lisps," she slurred, sliding her right hand across his face and nearly poking his eye.

_Oh god. She's drunk._

Resigned to taking on the role of babysitter, he gently pried her hands off him and clasped them together.

"Anna," he said in a tone that he typically reserved for misbehaving children. "We need to get you to bed."

But Anna was not listening; instead she was far more interested in his mouth. She pulled her hands from his and ran her fingers over his lips with fascination.

"They're soooo soft," She mused, pressing against him and whispering into his ear. "Soooft."

His face flushed and he was drawn in by her sexually charged voice, tempted to steal a drunken kiss.

"Is that so?" he whispered back, his face now inches from hers.

She nodded. "Mhmm, jus' like marshmallows. Fat. Puffy. Marshmallows." And with that she tapped her hand against his face and grinned stupidly. The spell was now completely broken.

It was likely a good thing that he was not caught kissing a drunken princess in public, although considering how enthusiastic the party guests had become, he doubted anyone would have noticed one brief stolen kiss.

"Do you sssink that Elsa also tastes like marshmallows?" Anna wondered, practically clawing at Kristoff's vest just to keep steady.

" _Ooookay_. And on _that_ note, I'm gonna have to cut you off, princess," he told her as he reached for her champagne flute. But the less-then-cooperative royal would not be deterred, and held the flute outside of Kristoff reach, spilling it the process.

"Well, that works too," he remarked, and plucked the glass out of her hand as she sulked over her folly.

"Stupid cup," she grumbled.

~X~

Elsa unwrapped the damp towel from her head and draped it over the arm chair before she plopped herself onto her bed, her damp hair sprawled wildly on her sheets. Exhaustion weighed heavily on her and the bath hadn't helped. Removing the saturated chocolate fudge and icing from her dress had been no problem; just a wave of her hand magically dissipated the dress into thin air. But the fudge in her hair was a nightmare to remove. Her scalp still ached from all the extra hot water she used, and even with Gerda's help, her hair still vaguely smelled of chocolate.

She closed her eyes, and was tempted to fall asleep where she lay when a soft rapping at her door called for her attention.

"Come in," She answered informally, not bothering to crack open an eye or to move from the comfort of her bed. When she heard the door open, she added "The towel is on the chair, I took care of the dress."

"Is that so?" A man's voice replied, leading Elsa to practically jump out of bed and quickly tie her robe over her revealing nightgown. Augustus stood at the doorway looking just as surprised.

"Is this an invitation, your majesty?" he quipped, brushing his hand through his hair and dropping his gaze. Elsa's face burned.

"Ah, no. Sorry." She smoothed back her hair, suddenly quite self-conscious about her appearance. "I, I wasn't expecting—um. I uh, I thought you were my chambermaid."

"I must confess, I am a little disappointed." He looked up again, noting that she had not asked him to leave.

Elsa eased up when she realized that he was joking. The mischievous twinkle in his eye was a dead giveaway. Though she hadn't known the young Lord for very long, Elsa was finding herself increasingly receptive to his presence.

"Is there something you need from me?" She asked.

"Only the pleasure of your company," he replied flirtatiously. "It's still early and I thought that maybe we could entertain each other for a little while." He took her question as an invitation to enter, and took a few steps inside her chambers, holding up a bottle of wine that had not been visible behind the door frame. "I'm afraid I don't have any glasses, though."

Elsa hesitated. She _was_ rather tired and had hoped to finally bring the night to a close.

"Oh, I'm intruding, aren't I? You're getting ready for bed?" Augustus had seen the hesitation on her face and suddenly felt like trespasser.

"No, no. You're not intruding on anything." She held a hand up to stop him when she realized that he was backing away out of her room. Something about the disappointed look on his face elicited a change of heart in her. "I think a walk would be nice."

~X~

Elsa walked Augustus through the solarium listening to his every word as he told her stories about visits to Corona and his home in Montressor, and his boyhood dream to explore the seven seas. She enjoyed his energy and wished that it could somehow manifest itself in her as well. Only once they entered the castle gallery, did the young lord remember that he had an unopened bottle of wine in his hand.

It was a lucky thing for Augustus that Elsa's magical abilities extended beyond architecture and dressmaking. After he had sufficiently embarrassed himself while trying to open the wine bottle with a small knife, she put him out of his misery by fashioning a cork screw out of ice.

"You know, you could have done that from the beginning," he pointed out.

"True," she replied. "But I was intrigued by what you planned on doing."

They settled themselves on a long upholstered bench at the far end of the gallery. When Augustus took a swig of wine then offered her a drink directly from the bottle, she produced two small glasses as well and nearly filled them to the top. He chose not to comment on it this time and resigned himself to a silent chuckle.

"We used to play here," he told her. "You were six and I was twelve. I remember that you and Anna used to beg me to spin you around by the arms."

She nodded and took a drink from her glass, noting the rich sweet tartness of her wine.

"I don't remember you ever doing any magic though."

"No, I wouldn't have," she told him, the distant memory slowly coming back to her, and the wine beginning to take its hold on her. "My powers weren't very developed yet, and my father didn't approve of me demonstrating them to anyone."

"You were the big family secret, then. It must have been lonely."

"For a very long time I was," she took another drink, this time polishing off the glass and refilling it to the brim. Elsa had only ever had a few sips of wine and champagne, so it pleased her to realize how warm and light she felt after just one glass.

"You remind me of her," he admitted, slipping slowly from his own glass.

"Of who?"

"The first girl I ever loved. She was quite lonely too," he then brushed a wild strand of Elsa's hair behind her ear, drawing a small shiver from the queen. She pulled away and stared intently at her bare feet.

"Did she love you back?"

"No. It wasn't like that," he replied with a nostalgic glow in his eyes. "I was nine and she was twenty-two, and I completely adored her."

Elsa smiled warmly, picturing a love-struck little boy clinging possessively to a much older woman.

"She was like a breath of fresh air, the way she looked at me and made me feel important and alive. And she was so much fun too." He gulped down the remainder of his glass and laughed. "She once helped me and the cook's son make a giant mud pie. The three of us were muddied from head to toe and Uncle Claudius got really mad at us. He was absolutely furious."

"What ever happened to her?" Elsa pressed on, and he frowned.

"She died not long after. I heard that she'd taken ill with consumption," he said, but judging from the look on his face, Elsa could see that Augustus wasn't quite sure he'd remembered it correctly. "She'd gone so quickly. Uncle Claudius was beside himself. He'd already lost his daughter, we all know that story," he paused and Elsa nodded. "…And now his baby sister was also gone. But it always bothered me…that someone so lovely, and lively, and funny could be so lonely, and come to an end so sadly."

"Maybe she never found love."

He turned to meet her eyes, and Elsa felt like he trying to probe her thoughts. It seemed like there was a lot of that going around lately.

"Is that why you're still lonely? Because you haven't found love?"

"I'm not-I'm not lonely," she sputtered. "Why would you even think that?"

"Because I can see it in your eyes. It's the same look I see when I look into the mirror. When I see my future, trapped by titles I didn't ask for and in a marriage with a girl who feels more like a sister than a bride." He paused, reconsidering his thoughts. "Or maybe, maybe you're lonely because you _have_ found it."

"No," she said lamely. "I've never been in love. I'm much too busy for that."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Elsa heard a voice that sounded a lot like Anna whisper in condemnation. _Liar_ , the voice hissed, and the queen replied by drowning out the voice with another drink from her wine glass.

"You know what I think?" Elsa said, her voice inflamed with drunken determination. "I think you should do what you want. Take back your freedom. This prison doesn't have to be permanent. So if you want to be a pirate king—"

"I never said pirate king," he interjected.

"—then you should take a couple of years and live that dream. It's not like Montressor is going anywhere. It'll still be there when you get back. It's been there since long before you even showed up."

She grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket and pulled him closer.

"And if you want to marry your sister—"

"Not my sister."

"—don't be afraid to choose the girl who's right for you."

Maybe it was the alcohol, or how close they were standing to one another. Or maybe it was the raw emotional exposure they'd just shared. Whatever the reason, when Augustus leaned in to kiss her, Elsa kissed him back.

The kiss was long and slow, and a bit bitter from the wine, but in her drunken stupor it was also very much like a hazy dream.

A loud shatter of glass pulled them apart from each other as they alternated between seeking out the source of the sound, and glancing awkwardly at each other, far too unnerved to speak. Augustus wanted to apologize, and he wanted to tell her how much her words meant to him, but he wasn't sure he was sorry for kissing her.

In the end, it was Anna who broke the silence.

"I saw that!" the tipsy princess exclaimed as she was helped into the gallery by her exasperated boyfriend.

Elsa froze, feeling a portion of her sobriety come back to her, and Augustus coughed and looked away.

"I'm so sorry," Kristoff apologized. "I didn't realize how much she's been drinking until it was too late."

"Don't you ignore me! I know what you two were up to!" Anna whined. She stumbled over to the bench and plopped down, grabbing the empty bottle of wine from the floor at her feet. "You were drinking without me. So mean."

She tipped the bottle over her mouth and was disappointed when only a couple of dropped wetted her lips.

"Wow," Augustus marveled. "She's really wasted."

"We should really get her to her room," Elsa told them, doing her best impression of her sober self, and overcome with relief at not being discovered.

"I was actually just on my way to take her to bed," Kristoff explained and Elsa stiffed. He must have noticed her reaction because he quickly added, "Just tucking her in of course."

As if on cue, Anna rose to her feet and clung onto Elsa.

"Marshmallows," the princess mumbled as she buried her face in her sister's hair. Kristoff cringed and gingerly pried Anna off of Elsa, whose face had turned a deep shade of vermillion.

She groaned but didn't resist, and let herself drowsily sink against Kristoff. But even in her state, Anna was well aware of another presence approaching them by the nearing sound of clamoring feet on the marble floors.

"Did any of you see Felicity come this way?" Rapunzel asked as soon as she spotted the four of them, and all eyes turned to her as she rushed over to meet them. "The last time I saw her, she was headed somewhere in this direction."

"I did." Kristoff replied. "She said she was going to bed. So she's probably back in her room by now."

"That's a relief!" Rapunzel exhaled sharply at the news then burrowed her brows when she noticed Anna making saliva bubbles and Augustus and Elsa trying not to look guilty.

"So, what's been going on with the rest of you?"

~X~

Kristoff helped carry Anna as far as the top of staircase to the hallway that separated the sisters' rooms. As soon as he made it to the top, Elsa thanked him and ordered him to set down the princess before telling him good night. On the surface the exchange was all politeness, but he could feel her pressing for him to make a quick exit.

Elsa didn't look back when she heard Kristoff make his way down the stairs. In spite of everything he'd done to help mend things between the two sisters, she couldn't deny the irritation she felt when he was in her presence. And more so when he was in close proximity of Anna. She'd once runaway because she wanted to hide the monster inside of her, but even then she'd never felt as ugly inside as she did at this very moment as a small part of her imagined how much better she'd feel if Kristoff was turned into an ice statue.

Anna snored, startling herself into a semi-awake state, and the queen realized that her sister was more asleep than awake. The princess was barely holding on; her feet dragging on the red carpet as she was guided across the hallway. Elsa readjusted Anna's arms, draping them around her neck, and held onto them more firmly before she proceeded again.

They managed as far as the snowflake door when she decided to go no further. Anna's door was just a few more meters away, but Elsa just didn't have it in her to take her the extra distance. She popped open the door and Anna groaned, flexing her arms around her sister's chest and nuzzling her face in the crook of her neck. Something like an electric shot went through Elsa, and she squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth to try to will away the sensation that was reverberating in her body and hollowing in the pit of her stomach, forming a warm resonating ache.

Two deep breaths and she continued into the darkness of her room.

Once she made it to the foot of the bed she plopped down with princess still draped over her, feeling completely spent. But she took no more than a moment's rest before she tried to roll Anna off of her.

"Anna!" She whispered loudly. "I need you to move." It occurred to her how foolish she seemed, whispering to the only other person in the room.

The princess mumbled a sleepy reply before she fumbled her way to the middle of the king-sized bed. Her movements especially difficult in her ball gown.

"Wait! Your dress!"

But Anna was already comfortably curled and unresponsive.

The Elsa quickly refashion her dress into a nightgown and crawl back toward the sleeping figure in the middle of the bed, wondering how to proceed. She was briefly tempted to magically undress her, but reconsidered when she imagined how disappointed Anna would be to learn that her new ball gown was immaterialized into nothing.

Exhaustion came to her like a sudden wave. Her eyelids felt like paper weights after an evening of drinking and the strain from carrying dead weight, and her body felt like jello. She collapsed beside Anna, and closed her eyes, her head still clouded by the alcohol. By the time she'd exhaled on her third count, she was already fast asleep.

~X~

She wasn't sure what woke her.

When Elsa opened her eyes she saw nothing but pitch black. At first she wondered if perhaps her eyes were still closed, but as she reached up to her face, she realized that she had some sort of silk garment over her head. She quickly cast it off and sent it cascading off the bed and onto the floor.

That's when she noticed the warm body beside her.

Anna lay sprawled on her back, dressed in her white lace pantaloons and camisole top, and bathed in the blue moonlight that shimmered through the large window. Wisps of her hair had come undone from her now disheveled braid and curled across her cheeks, feathering over her forehead; and her arm lay across her stomach, nestled under her top, baring the slim curves of her waist.

She looked like a dream.

Elsa propped herself up and gazed down at the sleeping form. She brushed aside the wisps of hair on Anna's forehead, delicately tracing her fingers along her soft skin and down her temple, sweeping her hand over her right cheek in a long caress. She leaned in closer and could see the fine strokes of her eyelashes and the slight parting of her rose-colored lips as she exhaled softly.

_Is this a dream?_

She leaned in closer, as if by some magnetic draw, and hesitated when their faces were just inches apart. Elsa could feel Anna's warm breath tickle her lips, and stimulate them like an electric charge. She could not resist the pull, and so she closed the distance between them. As soon as their lips touched, she was enraptured by a tingle of a thousand nerve endings, teasing its way along her mouth as she stole Anna's lips.

It was a tender kiss, no more than a whispery graze, but Elsa could feel that pull again, and she pressed harder, coaxing the sleeper to part her lips to match her own. Her chested hummed and a guttural primal groan made its way along her throat.

Elsa pulled back.

Every muscle in her body tensed, and Anna's blissfully sleeping face left her feeling guilty and afraid.

She crawled back slowly until she was firmly pressed against the headboard of her bed. Her breath came out in short gasps and she curled herself forward, resting her forehead against her knees, clearly shaken and ashamed.

This was no dream.

A thousand questions exploded in her mind. Too many to latch onto one coherent thought. And Elsa realized that she was afraid to make sense of those questions. Afraid of what they might imply.

Anna shifted on her side, pulling a plush velvet pillow into a tight hug. Elsa held her breath and her mind went blank as she looked up and stared at her sister's back, waiting for any signs of waking. But the world did not end, and Elsa felt at ease when all that followed was the rhythm of her heavy breathing.

As fear lessened, and her body slowly slid down the backboard and shifted onto her side, she let sleep reclaim her. Further down the bed, Anna clutched the pillow tighter as she opened her eyes and stared blankly into the darkness.

**_…to be continued..._ **

 

**GAG REEL EXTRAS**

**Anna:**   _(slurring)_  "You haaave such kisssable lisps...wait. You're not Elsa."

 **Elsa:**  [deleted bath scene]  _(sultry voice)_  "Oh yeah, right there!"

 **Augustus:**  [deleted bathe scene]  _(awkwardly)_  "Uh, the wall between the men and women's bath could do with a bit of sound proofing."

 **Elsa:**  "And if you want to marry your sister—just remember:  _I_  wanted to do it  _first_."

 **Anna:**  "Don't you ignore me! I know what you two were up to! The walls in the bath are practically paper thin!"

 **Kristoff:**   _(tearfully, to his beer hat)_  "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how much she's been drinking until it was too late. She even polished off all of the wine coolers."

 


	6. Chapter 6

_The Present_

At first Elsa thought the clamor of heavy downpour was only in her dreams. It reminded her of the waterfalls up on the higher mountain peaks. The waters there rasped and hissed as they beat down onto the jagged rocks below. She'd gone with Anna before. They'd laid out blankets over the mossy stone and ate apple slices and cucumber sandwiches while Shelby grazed on the green.

She rolled onto her stomach and pressed her face into her down pillow, slipping her sleep-stiffened arms underneath and clutching it hard to her face. A small ripple of pain shot through her wrist and she flinched, arousing her frustration from days before as she'd struck the tin water basin and sent it flying into the air.

She was not dreaming.

Elsa opened her eyes and realized that she hadn't heard the waterfalls that she'd imagined in her lucid sleep. It was the drumming of rain on her window that woke her as a storm raged on from the other side of the glass. The hollow wails of the wind were barely audible over the rain.

The memory of that picnic in the mountains still lingered and she recalled how Anna held tightly onto her from behind as they cautiously rode Shelby down the steep rocky mountain trail on that hot summer day. The heat of Anna's body pressed against hers should have been stifling, but it tingled instead, leaving a warm glow on her back. Another twinge of pain from her wrist and she was alone in the rain again, drenched and troubled as Shelby struggled to keep her hooves from slipping in the mud. Then muddied from head to toe when she'd lost her footing while dismounting. Elsa pressed her face harder into the pillow. She did not want to remember what came next. The stables. Their urgent groans. And their ruffled clothing and bright flushed faces in the aftermath of their tussle in the hay.

Something had been lost that day.

She wasn't sure what it was, but she'd felt it as sure as if it had slipped right through her fingertips. Dropped into the unknown.

The hands on the marble mantle clock were impossible to see from the darkened corner of her room, but she guessed it had to be after midnight. She knew she should stay in the comfort of her blankets, but she felt restless now, and no amount of shifting and turning would keep her in bed any longer.

So Elsa crawled out of bed, stepped into her white fur slippers, and lit the oil lamps in her room. She was lighting up the last one when she noticed the letter on the dresser, still unopened, with a large wax seal and the initials AJH pressed into the wax. She'd set it there days ago but had forgotten about it with all the distractions that followed.

 _Distractions,_ she derided herself silently. _Sulking doesn't qualify as a distraction._

She'd been avoiding Anna. Suddenly council meeting were running longer, and meals were brought to her quarters to save on time. And when she could not avoid being in her presence, she refused to make eye contact all the while pretending that things between them were the same as always. But she could feel the persistence in her stares, and the slight hitch in her throat when Elsa was certain that Anna wanted to say something about that day in the stables. She never let her. Before Anna could breathe a single word, Elsa would excuse herself, already halfway across the room before the princess could voice any protest.

Elsa sat down on her bed and broke open the letter's seal, quickly shuffling through the pages until she came across a pencil sketch of herself standing on a large rock cliff overlooking a rocky shore near what appeared to be a small port. As always, he signed the sketch with his middle name, "James." He included one with every letter; it was his way of bringing her along in his travels, he'd explained, and so it became habit for her to look for them. Sometimes he added a token or a small souvenir of whichever port he happened to be passing through. According to his letter, this time it was the Isle of Portland.

She didn't have to read the inked pages to know what sort of news he sent her way. He told funny stories about his adventures at sea, and typically had a great deal to say about his crew-mates. He'd often made mention of his female captain, a shrewd and fearless woman he admired whose features skirted on cat-like, and Elsa was usually left feeling a bit of envy for the freedom that Captain Amelia possessed.

Sure enough, Augustus ended his letter with that same impossible request. And as always adding, ' _I'm still waiting for your answer.'_

She set down the letter on the bed and exhaled sharply. The answer always at the tip of her tongue.

A soft rap at the door drew her surprise, and whatever her answer may have been quickly dissipated like a fog in the Midday sun.

"Elsa?" came a timid voice from the other side of the door.

"Elsa? Are you still awake?"

Every muscle in her body froze, and she held her breath. She could see two small shadows cast under her door by the light of the corridor lamp. They shuffled indecisively for a few beats before they disappeared. Elsa was about to exhale in relief when they reappeared, this time without hesitation.

"Elsa?"

She sighed sharply, resigned to the fact that Anna was not about to give up. After another deep breath, she answered.

"Anna?" She made a point to sound surprised, masking the dread in her voice.

"I'm coming in."

The door cracked open and Anna peered in, a slight tremor seizing her hand as she gripped the doorknob tightly. One look at Elsa and she took a resolute breath, pushing the door wide open. She cradled Elsie in one arm. The infant was wide awake and clinging to her mother's long braid. As soon as she saw Elsa, she broke into a wide toothless smile, drool dripping out her mouth as she stirred excitedly; tugging on Anna's braid like a church bell.

Elsa felt compelled to stand when she realized that Anna was not alone, but Anna quickly stopped her, not wanting Elsa to go out of her way.

"It's okay," she told her. "Please don't get up on my account." But the truth was that she was mostly afraid, afraid that if Elsa got up, she would find another reason to get away. It was partly the reason she had chosen to bring little Elsie along. Anna knew she wasn't playing fair, but she figured that her sister would not find it so easy to turn her away with an infant in her arms.

An awkward silence set in. Anna stood outside the doorway waiting, and Elsa continued to avert eye contact.

"It's late," Elsa pointed out, partly hoping that it would be enough to get Anna to turn around and return to bed. But Anna only nodded in agreement.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither."

Anna bit her lip and took a tentative step forward, placing her square in the doorway. All the resolve she bore just moments ago had quickly dissipated. She searched Elsa's face for some kind of invitation or an encouragement to enter, but her eyes seemed more preoccupied with just about everything else in the room but her guest.

"Mind if I set her down on the bed?" Anna asked, raising Elsie a little higher. "She's small, but after a while it's like lugging around a giant rock." She forced a laugh, but couldn't mask the slight nervous quiver in her voice, and wondered if it sounded as unnatural to Elsa as it sounded to herself.

"Yes, go ahead."

She watched Anna shift the baby in her arms, carefully supporting her head as she gently lay her down on the bed. Elsie gazed up at Elsa, observing her with utter fascination, completely oblivious to the spit bubbles that formed over her mouth as she gurgled. The infant extended an uncoordinated chubby arm toward her, vying for the embroidered silk fabric that her nightgown was comprised of.

Elsa caressed Elsie's downy head, smoothing down the soft blonde locks of hair only to watch them spring back up. The child latched onto her pinky finger and squeezed tightly, like a miniature vise, dissolving the barricade that Elsa had formed over her heart and filling it with wonder, even as the child refused to let her go. Elsa glanced up at Anna, meeting her eyes for the first time in days. It still hurt, but their distance had helped ease the ache in her chest.

"She likes you," Anna told her as she slowly eased herself onto the edge of the bed, seated just an arm's length away from her.

Elsa replied with a mere "oh," but couldn't completely fight off the smile hinted at the corners of her mouth.

"Everyone else makes her cry," Anna went on. "She practically shrieks her head off whenever Gerda tries to hold her."

This time Elsa bit back the smile, feeling secretly pleased as she noted how the child continued to gawk at her. Little Elsie released her finger and squealed with delight, pounding her plump arms on the mattress as she beamed toothlessly at her aunt.

"She's probably a bit crazy about you."

She met Anna's eyes again, but was slightly fazed by the solemn look reflecting back in them.

"Other than me, she only likes it when you and Kristoff hold her."

She felt that twinge again at the mention of his name, and this time Anna caught a glimmer of it in Elsa's face.

"Amazing. She looks so much like mother," Elsa observed, clearing her throat. "Look at that face. That nose."

"Elsie looks more like you, though." Anna caressed the silvery blond curls on her infant's head, the color identical to her sister's. "She's even got your eyes."

Another look crossed between them. This time Anna leaned forward as she reached for a tendril of hair that had fallen over Elsa's face, looping it around her finger before brushing it back and tucking it behind her ear. Her fingertips grazed past the soft rim of Elsa's ear then down her jawline, trailing off at her chin.

"Such beautiful eyes."

Elsa could do nothing but stare back. Speech escaped her as surely as her lungs forgot to breathe in that moment. Bits of that night came floating back to her again. She remembered Anna's wet lips on her jawline, and the knots in her stomach as she'd kissed up her neck and nuzzled her ear. Anna's hot breath on her face as she had sought her lips in the darkness of that library and her imploring tongue, teasing and coaxing her mouth open. There was the glint in Anna's eyes, her dilated pupils with rings of cyan blue, like dark pools of sin drawing her in. And the heat building at the pit of her stomach. She remembered…

_Stop it._

Not to give herself away, she slowly closed and reopened her eyes, willing the memory away, but she could still feel Anna's hands and lips on her body like a phantom ache, forever imprinted to memory.

Elsa tore her eyes away from Anna's and watched as little Elsie wiggled on her back, still too small to turn over on her own. She tickled the baby's plump little chin, and Elsie burst into laughter.

Anna looked down. She wasn't sure why she did it, what made her reach for her. After all, this wasn't why she'd pried her way into Elsa's bedchamber tonight. And yet, her hand and her mouth had moved with a mind all their own, stringing together suggestive words and taking advantage of Elsa's nearness to tease her with unsisterly advances. Much like she had four days ago.

In her mind, she could still imagine all those stupid buttons. She'd wondered why Elsa bothered with such a complicated dress instead of fashioning one out of ice. It had been her undoing. A stupid dress with a ridiculous number of buttons. Tiny buttons. So small that even her own petite hands struggled to fasten them through the threaded loops. Not only that, she also had to contend with Elsa's silken smooth back, bared to her like an open invitation.

' _Just this one time, just for tonight.'_

The words resounded in Anna thoughts and she imagined herself from just the year before staring back with mocking eyes. _It's what you wanted, right?_

_Right?_

But her eyes were accusing and pointed. _So what do you call what happened in this room four days ago? What you did just seconds ago?_

_I didn't mean to._

She bit the inside of her mouth hard and could feel the voices fade as she broke the skin and tasted copper, but she caught the whisperings of that final accusation.

_Liar._

"I'm not."

"You're not what?"

"I'm not feeling myself," she replied in a strangled voice, very aware of the curious look Elsa had cast her way. She kept her gaze down, noticing for the very first time the creased clump of pages barely tucked under an opened envelop. Even with a broken seal, she could still make out the initials of the sender.

"I haven't been myself lately," she explained distractedly as she realized who the initials belonged to. "Not this past year."

Elsa shifted uncomfortably, tension filling every part of her, and dread weighing on her like a suit of armor. Her stomach clenched and she felt nausea flutter up her throat.

_And we'll never speak of this again._

She stood up and walked over to the window, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched rain rattle against the glass.

"We've all been changed by this past year," Elsa said, her back still to Anna. "You're married now, _and_ you're a mother. Kristoff is learning how to be a royal. And I've got my responsibilities." _And Olaf is probably in the Antarctic by now._

 _But you've always had them_ , Anna wanted to say. She opened her mouth to protest, desperately wanting to tell her that she wasn't talking about motherhood or marriage, even though those things had certainly played a pivotal part in her life. Nor was she talking about the typical changes that come with time. It was about being afraid and holding back, and not knowing what to do about it. But she noticed the tremor in Elsa's back and realized that her sister had understood exactly what she meant.

And she was also afraid.

"Do—do you think we can ever go back?" Anna asked, swallowing the knot that formed in her throat. "Like how it used to be?" She waited for her answer, watched as her head tilted in contemplation, unable to read her from behind. And just as she feared that the long stretch of silence was just Elsa's way of avoiding an outright rejection, she turned around and faced Anna with an uncertain look in her eyes.

"I think…I think that would be harder."

The air in the room seemed more suffocating, and Anna's breathing grew shallow as the tightness augmented in her throat. She fought against the sudden desire to cry.

"Can't we try?" She choked out, barely trusting herself to speak for fear that her words would crack through her fragile composure. _It can't possibly hurt to try, can it?_ But Elsa wouldn't answer, instead, she looked away. There was no contemplation or doubt on her face, just resignation.

Elsie grunted and looked up at her mother with imploring eyes, wondering at the sadness that threatened to overflow. When Anna didn't respond, the infant frowned and tears welled up over her azure eyes before she broke into a painful howl. Her pale complexion quickly flushed red and tears covered her round cheeks.

In that moment Anna realized that she had not brought anything along that might help pacify the child. Scooping her up, she rested the baby against her chest, nesting Elsie's small head in the crook of her neck as she gently rocked her. The infant paused for a moment as she was repositioned, but her screams continued unabated. Anna scanned the bed for anything that might serve as a distraction when her eyes fell upon the letter again.

"I have something that might help," Elsa said as she hurried to the closet. She disappeared into the large walk-in and Anna waited a few seconds before she riffled through the pages with her free hand.

It had bothered her at first. Seeing what appeared to be a long and intimate letter sprawled out on her bed where Elsa had been reading it in candlelight. The way Anna saw it, candlelight was typically reserved for secret things, intimate things that should not be exposed to the light of day. And Elsa had never given any indication that Augustus Hawkins could be someone who would require secrecy. Especially someone who could write her a letter that could easily serve as the first several chapters of a novel.

A memory came to her. It was hazy and faded with time. But she'd also been drinking. The night of the first Grand Ball they had thrown under Elsa's reign, Anna had stumbled upon Felicity Malachi being sneaky as always. Although Anna had required the stability of Kristoff's shoulders to keep her upright, she had no problem deducing that Felicity was up to something. The girl had been peering from the edge of the entrance to the main gallery, clearly hiding from whoever she was spying on.

Anna had been tempted to call after her, but then Felicity pulled away from the doorway, stepping backwards, clearly startled by whatever she saw. In her state, she'd failed to notice the stand behind her with the crystal vase resting on top, and in an instant it lay shattered in a million pieces on the marble floor.

Felicity must have heard them approach because she turned around and met Anna's gaze. "I'm sorry," she'd apologized, then mumbled, "I should probably go to bed," before she'd disappeared into the darkened hallway. She hadn't given the shattered glass a second thought, much less bothered to respond to Kristoff as he bid her goodnight. It didn't surprise Anna to learn that she'd been spying on Augustus and Elsa. Felicity was always chasing after his coattails like the love-struck and jealous little thing that she was. Later, when Anna learned that Mahlia Malachi was a spellcaster, she would often wonder why Felicity had never convinced her mother to cast a love enchantment on Augustus for her.

It had never occurred to Anna that something might actually be going on between Elsa and Augustus. Felicity's reaction that night seemed like nothing more than her usual overreaction, and when he returned again months later, they never hinted at anything romantic. She'd never seen him reach for Elsa's hand the way she had longed to do, other than the formalities that came with greetings. And he didn't enter her private space the way that Anna often invaded it, or nervously look away when her look penetrated his. Anna never saw it.

Yet his letter implied that they had been corresponding for quite some time from the way he prattled on about people she'd never heard of and places she'd only read about in books. Anna could still hear Elsa rummaging through her closet, but she knew that it wouldn't be much longer before she returned, and quickly shuffled to the last page.

The ache in her chest grew wider. And Elsie's screams only seemed to get louder.

She noticed the drawing first. The artist had perfectly capture her eyes, the delicate strokes hinting at a yearning hidden inside them. A look that Anna once believed Elsa had reserved only for her. And somehow Augustus had captured it, as if it were a familiar thing. Something easily recreated from intimate knowledge.

The blood in her cheeks burned as she gripped the letter in her fist and that demon that reared its head on the night that she took Elsa, returned. But this time it scoured at her insides and clasped painfully around her chest, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

"I found it," Elsa announced as she made her way back into the room.

Anna slapped the pages back down on the bed, quickly straightening them as best as she could, before Elsa caught her. But as she returned carrying a small carved wooden box, Elsa seemed unaware of any misdoings.

She set the box down over the letter as she sat and twisted the latch open. Anna wasn't sure what to expect, but she was still too tense to care. When Elsa reached inside, a small rattle was heard from inside the box, and Elsie's bright red face suddenly stilled and her cries died out. She turned her small head toward the direction of the curious sound, seeking it out with her inquisitive eyes.

It was a baby rattle. The handle was carved from ivory and inscribed with names in their native writing, and although the rattle itself seemed to be a hybrid of sorts, it was carved with a lavish geometric pattern all around it, like an ivory snowflake.

Elsa shook it and little Elsie gawked at it with her mouth open.

"Did you have that made?" Anna forced herself to ask as the infant squirmed happily in her arms, still mistrusting of her own voice.

Elsa shook her head.

"It was mine. And before me, it belonged to father." She held it closer to Anna, careful not to obscure the ivory handle. "You see the inscriptions? It's the name of every first born in the ruling line, going back to our great-great grandfather."

Sure enough, she saw her father and Elsa's name inscribed next to each other. It wasn't hard to tell the older markings apart. Compared to their father and grandfather's names, the indentations in Elsa's were much more pronounced. That's when she noticed the inscription under Elsa's name. At first she thought it was a mistake, but the incisions that formed the letters were much more recent and Anna could still see some of the powdery residue.

"You added Elsie's name? But she's not—"

"—my first born?" Elsa finished for her. "I don't care about that."

She handed the rattle to Elsie, who had already been straining eagerly for it. The infant gave it a few tentative shakes, testing its functionality before breaking into an amused laugh. Anna set her down on the bed again wondering how something as simple as a rattle could bring a child so much joy when she felt so miserable.

"Anna," Elsa called for her, the tone of her voice once again heavy and resigned, and filling her with dread. "About before. About what you asked." Anna held her breath, and waited for the sky to fall. "I think that we could really use some time apart from each other. Maybe after Elsie's christening. I was thinking that maybe you and Kristoff would enjoy spending some time at Uncle Claudius' family estate. It's only two days away, and it would be the perfect time for you to get some tutelage on international trade, maybe on the judiciary too."

Elsa search her eyes for approval, and Anna nodded numbly in assent. She stared down at the box, tracing the carved patterns with her eyes then noticed the last page of Augustus' letter peering out from underneath, taunting her with one horrifying line.

_'I'm still waiting for your answer.'_

~X~

She remembered. And she tried to forget. But it was ever present in the back of her mind. The rustling sounds as buttons were undone and fabric was cast off, left crumpled on the floor. The trembling in her torso and the nerves in her stomach as a soft hand traced up her knees and gently pried their way between her thighs. In that moment, she was there again. The past made present once more; revisited almost like a living memory.

She was overwhelmed by the feel of Anna's flesh inside her, the tension in her hips and up her back as she strummed a rhythm in her aching hollow, seeding it with urgency. Then a small pain beneath her ribs began slowly consuming her, emptying her. Shaming her.

Elsa struggled to hold on, riding the tightness that upsurged and ebbed in the pit of her stomach, and then only swelling. She felt it rising. And with it, felt fear rising. A primal urge completely new to her, and yet the sensation was inborn to her flesh, clenching and filling that hollowness, and leaving her feeling vacant and whole as Anna coaxed something profound and surreal. And terrifying. Something beyond words.

And there could not be words. Her tattered breath would not permit it. There were only the soft and mangled groans that come with release, and their heavy breaths, barely audible over the throbbing rush of blood droning in their ears, and the unbearable ache that only expanded as their mouths sought each other in the darkness, devouring the purity in their hearts.

_..to be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a rather difficult for me to write, and I'm not really sure it worked out as I intended. So please forgive me if it's too awkward and uneven (and grammatically incorrect since I haven't edited it yet). And thanks again for your continued support! A special thanks to hkas and Nausikaa, who were both kind enough to listen to my incessant prattle while I worked out of few kinks in the story.


	7. Chapter 7

"What do you think of the blue silk cravat? The one your aunt gave me for our anniversary? Would that go with my jacket?" Kristoff called out to Anna as he set down his cufflinks beside his suit on their bed. He waited for her answer, but none came and he called for her again.

"Anna?"

She'd disappeared into their walk-in closet with Gerda to get ready for their first wave of guests, and had been tussling through an artillery of dresses for the past twenty minutes. A year ago Kristoff would have whined and groaned over how painstakingly long she took to get dressed, but now he was almost as bad as she was.

Not too surprising. His new life as a royal came with an endless barrage of wining and dining guests, many of which belonged to society's elite. And they all dressed in the finest fabrics and silks in extravagant styles. Dining with royals, nobles, and political leaders was much like being in a peacock show, and he dismissed it as nothing but glitter and pretense.

Kristoff resisted it at first and Anna let him, but it didn't take long before it set in just how out of place he seemed. It wasn't until they dined with some of the local families that Kristoff realized he was just being stubborn. Families who had less than him came dressed in their Sunday best while he was dressed in his regular street garments. He wasn't blind to the raised brows and curious glances their guests had cast his way. Kristoff had never felt so ashamed and embarrassed.

"What do you think, princess?" He asked his daughter, picking up a bright yellow cravat and draping it over his head like a bonnet. "Does this make daddy look manly and handsome?"

He pursed his lips like a fish and crossed his eyes at the small infant. Elsie was propped up in a sitting position on the bed, her uncoordinated and plump little body supported by pillows. She looked up at her father, her azure eyes gawking widely at him, then burst into squealing laughter when he stuck out his tongue. She tried doing the same, but only managed to form bubbles of spit over her lips.

Kristoff rolled his tongue and waggled his brows at her, sending her into another ripple of laughter.

"What are you doing to that poor child, my prince?" Gerda teased as she reentered the room. Kristoff turned, still holding the makeshift 'bonnet' over his head, and drew a heavy laugh from the servant.

"Any news from my wife? Or must we report her forever lost in her jungle of dresses?" He quipped.

"Princess Anna should be out shortly," Gerda said as she walked around the bed and swept up little Elsie into her arms. "She did ask me to tell you to wear the dark green tie with the silver pin."

"The silver pin?"

"The national crest."

_Her father's pin._

He grabbed the green cravat from the pile of ties on the bed, but couldn't remember where Anna kept the pin. When Kristoff looked around the room with a lost look in his eyes, Gerda added, "It's in the jewelry dresser, in the second drawer."

The pin had belonged to the late king, and to his father before him.

 _And now to me,_  he thought as he pulled the pin out of the drawer. The heirloom was as simple as it was extravagant, but what struck Kristoff most was the history it contained.  _This pin can be traced back generation after generation, and now it belongs to me… a man who barely has any idea where he comes from. Doesn't seem right._

He knotted the tie around his neck and tucked it into his buttoned vest before clipping the pin on it.

"How do I look?" he asked when he turned around.

"Guuuh!" the littlest princess shrieked happily, squirming in the servant's arms. Kristoff chuckled over his daughter's uncanny timing.

"I must agree with the child," Gerda added with a bemused look in her eyes. "You look very 'guuh,' Prince. Now if you will excuse us, we are off to the gardens for some fresh air."

But as soon as Gerda started in the direction of the door, Elsie began to cry in her arms.

"Oh dear. She really doesn't like it when I take her away from you."

"We Bjorman's are set in our ways."

Kristoff hurried across the room and leaned over and ruffled little Elsie's silvery blond locks before planting a kiss on her forehead. As he pulled away, his daughter babbled incoherently and raised her chubby arms; her outstretched limbs reaching for him in vain.

"What is it, little one?" He asked Elsie, leaning his face within her reach. "Do you wanna stay with Daddy?" She latched her small hands on his face and observed him with curiosity and wonder as her soft hands and fingers pressed against the grain of her father's nearly indiscernible stubble. She gawped at him with a wide toothless smile that only grew wider the more she rubbed his scratchy face.

"Oh? You think Daddy's face feels funny? Is that it?" Kristoff gently pinched her cheeks. "Just wait 'til you meet Grandpa. His face feels so much funnier; he all rock."

~X~

_15 Months Ago_

"But we've _already_ met with your Grandfather," Anna whined. " _And_  the whole clan. They dipped us in 'good juju' batter and draped our heads with bird feathers and eggshells! And I  _still_  can't get the smell of figs and cumin out of my hair!"

"Oh, come on. That was different," Kristoff insisted. "It was ceremonial. Who are we to deny my family of their traditions?"

"We were practically tarred and feathered."

"It was a spiritual cleanser."

"My skin broke out in hives. I looked like a creature out of Grimm's Fairy tales.

"You're exaggerating. And besides, I can't smell a thing off of you."

"That's because you smell like reindeer!" She snapped.

He stared hard at her. What he assumed was their usual banter looked more like annoyance on her face. Her lips, so tightly pursed they looked thin and white, and a tense frown framed her accusing eyes.

"You're angry." He didn't think to mask the surprised tone in his voice, and yet something in the inflection of his words singed her anger even more.

"Why wouldn't I be angry?! Ever since we announced to the world that we're getting married, it's been one crazy custom after another! Absolute insanity! And now there's even  _ridiculous_ rumors going around that we  _have to_ get married!"

"You heard about that."

"I'm just so sick of it. I thought that getting engaged and marrying you would make everything…better, but I just feel so anxious.  _All the time_." He caught the strain in her voice, the near-tremble that told him she was nearing tears.

Kristoff reached for her, pulled her into his arms, her back firm against him as he draped his arms around her shoulders.

"Then, let's call it off," he suggested, resting a soothing hand on her head. "We don't have to rush into anything."

"No!" Anna pulled away and turned to face him, fear dilated in her eyes.

"It's okay," Kristoff replied, taking her hand in his and entwining their fingers. "I don't want you to feel that we have to get married. We have a good thing here. Ring or no ring, it doesn't change how I feel about you."

"It's just that…I've been so confused lately…about who I am, about my place.  _Elsa_."

Her eyes were intensely focused on his hands.

He cocked his head. "Elsa? I thought you two were getting along better than ever. Did something happen?"

"N-No, it's nothing like that," she insisted, looking him in the eyes, but Kristoff was not deaf to the hesitation that caught in her voice. "I just can't help but feel that there isn't really a place for me here. Elsa's a queen, and there's no doubt in the role she has to play and the responsibilities that come with that. But me? I'm a princess. I courtesy and smile, and wave when the occasion calls for it."

"Come on. You're more than that."

"You're just saying that because you're my fiancé."

"That's not true. You help people. You saved your sister. You saved yourself. Anna, you're charitable to so many who need help. That's not nothing."

"Maybe so, but those are just things I've done. It's not what I live and breathe. Elsa's a queen, and it's not something she does on occasion. She manages an entire country. But me? I mostly manage to get myself in and out of trouble."

Kristoff took a step closer to Anna and cupped her face in his calloused hands.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I mean look at me; you think all this muscle happened after a single day of cutting?" He tipped her chin up and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Elsa's probably been tailored since she was born to be queen. She's got years of study and instruction to prepare her for that role. That didn't happen overnight," he told his wife, knowing that even though Anna knew this better than anyone, she desperately needed to hear it from someone.

"She also didn't have a choice in the matter. But you do, Anna. You've already proven to the world how strong you are. Now it's time to prove it to yourself."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" She asked.

"You tell me. I'm just the muscle; my job's to do all the heavy lifting."

She laughed and slipped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

"You're my rock, you know that? Everything is so…so…  _simple_  with you, Kristoff. You're the  _one thing_  in my life that makes perfect sense. And I need some perfect sense in my life right now."

"That's so… _practical_  of you."

" _And_  I love you, of course."

" _Of course._ "

"And I'm sorry about what I said before. You don't smell like reindeer," Anna said, pressing her face against his chest and inhaling deeply.

She crinkled her nose and bit back a sudden wave of nausea.

"Well, maybe your sweater does.  _Oh, god!_ " Anna pulled out of their embrace and covered her mouth.

Kristoff stepped back sheepishly.

"I'll go change."

" _Yes, please_ ," she replied with a laugh, but the pleading tone in her voice was encouraging him to hurry. On his way out of her chamber he glanced back and wondered why her smiles never seemed to reach her eyes anymore. That thought would continue to haunt him well after they were married.

~X~

He slowly pushed open the door and peered into the walk-in closet.  _Closet._  It hardly seemed an appropriate name for a space that was easily twice the size of the last room he rented in town before he moved into the castle. He used to joke that he practically lived in a closet, and had all closets been the size of this one, he would have wished he had.

"Nothing to wear?" he asked his wife.

Anna stood pensively in the middle of the room facing a wall of dresses and wearing only her undergarments; a pile of rejected garbs, nearly as high as her waist, lay on the floor beside her.

"Not a thing," she replied. "I may have to greet our guests in the nude."

"Should I change my tie, then? There's the blue cravat that matches your eyes."

The corners of her lips briefly upturned in what could only barely be described as a smile, appearing more like a grimace.

"Did Gerda take Elsie?"

"Yep. The girl of the hour is getting readied as we speak."

"And the preparations?"

"Everything's ready. Kai will open the church doors and start seating guests at a quarter after eleven. Eugene and Rapunzel will meet us there with your aunt and uncle. And the kitchen staff will start setting up the table settings during the service."

"During the service? Isn't that cutting it close?"

"It'll be fine," he assured her. "All they have left to do is put out the plates and dinnerware. Everything is as it should be."

She didn't look convinced.

"What about the cake? Remember what happened the year before? It was a nightmare."

"Not to worry. The kitchen staff have all been briefed. Eugene and your cousin are  _forever_ banned from all kitchens. They aren't even allowed within fifteen feet of the service entrances." He grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her. "Loosen up, okay? Nothing's gonna go wrong. It's not like  _all_  the festivities thrown here end in disaster."

Anna scoffed.

"Do you even  _remember_  our wedding reception? The British Lord that took off his shirt and used the banner to swing down into the ballroom while we were cutting the cake?  _Ring any bells?_ "

"But nothing broke or exploded."

"He brought an ape to the reception and kept telling the guests that she was his mother."

Kristoff had forgotten about that. The poor ape looked miserable in the dress and bonnet she wore, constantly pulling at the tight collar.  The bonnet had fallen off so often that it spent more time off her head than on it.  And then there was the way the lord had introduced the nervous creature…no one could figure out if he was serious or if they were all victims of an elaborate practical joke.

"The Gala!" he said suddenly. "You remember the pre-Wedding Gala your aunt and uncle threw for us? It was perfect."

Anna nodded and bit her lip. " _Kind of._  I vaguely remember."

"It couldn't have been more perfect. I was so nervous surrounded by so many nobles, afraid that they would look at me like I didn't belong. Or worse; that they would think I was the butler, but it wasn't like that at all.”

Anna bent down to gather dresses off the floor and stacked them onto the large chest at the corner of the room.

"You surprised me that night," she said with her back to him as she scooped another armful of garments from the pile, her voice slightly stilted. "I didn't realize you could dance."

"I knocked your socks off, didn't I?" There was a playfulness in his voice as he beamed proudly.

"And everyone else's," she replied, distractedly moving dresses. She never seemed as lively anymore. Not that he would ever tell her that, but he ached for the girl with the fiery will and the teeming bravado.

"I can't take all the credit for it, though," he went on.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"Just days before the wedding, I could barely dance without tripping over my own two feet. I was utterly hopeless; but your sister offered to help. I couldn't say if it was more awkward for me or for her, but she stuck with me for the better part of three days until I got it right."

She stopped what she was doing and gawped up at him. "I never knew."

"It was meant to be a surprise. We wanted to make that night memorable."

A look of guilt flickered in her eyes and she turned her attention back to the dresses that remained on the floor.

"I'm sorry," she said with her back to him. "My recollection of that night is just so hazy."

He laughed, remembering her account of that evening; how she had meandered drunkenly out of the ballroom, too far gone remember how to get back to her chambers.  Kristoff hadn't seen her take one drop of champagne that night, but he knew how sneaky Anna could be when it came to alcohol.

"Getting tipsy and wandering off to nap in the library during your engagement party is hardly a crime. If that's the worst thing that happened, I consider us pretty lucky."

"Still, I'm—"

 _Sorry,_  is what he assumed she was going to say, it's what she was always saying these days, but there was a knock at the door and both turned toward the doorway, unable to see who it was from where they stood.

"Sorry to interrupt," Elsa called from beyond the door. "Gerda mentioned that you two were still getting ready." She paused. "Just so you know, I  _did_  knock on the chamber door several times, but you didn't answer.  I assumed you'd be in here. I hope you don't mind that I let myself in."

"It's fine," Anna replied, looking a bit unnerved.  Kristoff wondered if they’d been fighting again. "I could really use your help." And then turning to her husband she asked, "Kristoff, do you mind?"

It felt to him like she was eager to rush him out the door, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything about it, not even in jest.

"No worries," he replied with a painted smile. "I'm sure I'm needed somewhere."

He had one foot out the door when Elsa called out to him. "Augustus' ship landed about an hour ago. He's waiting for you in the Red room."

_Jim Hawkins._

He'd been looking forward to seeing his old friend for some time. Out of all the nobles Kristoff knew outside of the family, the Marquis of Montressor was the one person he could relate to the most. Even though the man was noble born, he didn't have any pretensions about himself. To the world, he was Augustus James Hawkins, the Marquis of Montressor, but to Kristoff he was just Jim; a guy who chose the open waters over a political marriage and honorary titles. A guy who chose to love a woman whose station in life was far higher than his own, and gossipers be damned.

Kristoff looked back, intending to ask Elsa about Augustus, when he noticed the deep-rooted contempt inscribed in Anna's eyes at the mere mention of his name. She may not have been that same easy-going girl he remembered, but the passion was lit in her eyes; resentment in place of bravado, but just as fiery as she ever was.

Whatever it was that he was going to say, the question died in his throat, and he quickened his steps out of the room and down the long corridor, trying his hardest to drown out the irksome voice that threatened to inundate his mind with the creeping doubt that often plagued him.

~X~

"You're kidding! A scrawny guy like you? There's no way that you knocked down a man of that size!" Kristoff's eyes were wide with disbelief, but he was clearly enjoying Augustus' recounting of his recent run it with a Scottish King.

"I did! I swear! His jaw was like a brick wall; I'm lucky that I didn't break my fist on it." He held up his hand to Kristoff's face; a long scar with jagged stiches ran along his knuckles and the flesh was still swollen and bruised.

Kristoff whistled.

"I'm surprised he didn't kill you after that."

"Oh, he probably would have had Captain Amelia not come between us. She has saved my hide  _so_  many times; I'd have to empty my treasury twice over to repay her." Augustus plopped back into the green couched and glanced about the room, briefly wondering why a room with mostly green and brown tones would be called the Red Room.

"So, then the crazy red-head turned out to be his daughter?"

"Considering how crazed he was, is that really so surprising?"

"You're just as crazy for kissing her."

" _She_  kissed  _me!_ " Augustus sat up straight, glaring at his friend. "Haven't you been listening? That's how I got into that whole mess in the first place!"

"That's not the way I plan to tell it." Kristoff smirked, looking very much like the cat that ate the canary.

"You'd better not, Bjorman!" He sprung up to his feet and slugged Kristoff on the shoulder. "If word of this gets to Elsa, it's your head they'll be serving today at the reception.  _Mark my words_."

"Hey! I'm just trying to improve your chances here. If women can see you for more than the scrawny doormat you are, they  _might_  just be deluded enough to consider you a fine catch." Augustus was hardly scrawny. He was lean and well-toned, but compared to Kristoff, he may as well have been a stick; a fact that Kristoff was always quick to point out.

The year before, after Augustus inadvertently, publicly, and quite painfully broke ties with Felicity Malachi, Kristoff began a series of competitions against the Marquis. Consciously, Kristoff meant to use it as a way to distract Augustus from the disastrous mess with Felicity, but if he had been honest with himself, he would have realized that his reasons actually had more to do with Anna's diminishing enthusiasm and increasing distraction. But Augustus didn't mind. Kristoff's motives were transparent enough to Augustus, but he was just as eager for a little friendly rivalry.

Augustus stiffened, remembering the way Felicity beat her fists against his chest. Her soft cries tearing him up inside as she buried her tear-stained face in his shirt, and an audience of accusing eyes shredding him to pieces.

"Is she going to be there?" He asked, suddenly quite somber.

"She was invited," Kristoff replied, his brows furrowed in apology. "So there is a good chance she will be coming. She might already be here."

Augustus nodded and silently walked across the room, staring absently at the hand-drawn map of the kingdom that was framed on the far-east wall. Kristoff followed, shoulders slightly slumped.

"I'm sorry, Jim. I should have said something."

"No," Augustus said, holding up his hand. "Don't be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. The whole thing with Felicity…I handled that badly. On an astronomical level kind of badly."

"It might not be so bad anymore. It's been a while, and I hear that she's been moving on, getting back into court society."

Kristoff slapped a hand on Augustus' shoulder and led him toward the door.

"Besides, this isn't the time to be all doom and gloom. We have a christening to catch."

They still had plenty of time. Kristoff knew this but Augustus knew this too, made evident by the sudden halt in his tracks.

"Do you think I was wrong?" He asked Kristoff. There was fear in his eyes, and for a brief moment Kristoff recalled the stricken look on Anna's face on that day when he offered to call of their wedding; her eyes had been a brimming pool of abject fear.

"I don't know," Kristoff answered honestly, pushing back the image that lingered in his thoughts. "Do you feel that you were wrong?"

"No? Maybe? It feels like I really did wrong by her."

"If given the chance, would you choose differently?"

The clock on the mantle sounded almost thunderous in the silence that followed as the seconds ticked away. Augustus remained absolutely still, and Kristoff could have waited a hundred years and still have received no reply.

"Don't think about your answer," Kristoff commanded. "What does your gut tell you?"

"That she's not the one I want."

"How can you be so sure?" But he already knew the answer, as sure as he knew that Augustus knew it as well. In fact, there were so very few who could claim complete ignorance when it came to the marquis’ feelings for the queen.

"Because I _love_  Elsa."

"And if Elsa doesn't love you?" Kristoff cautiously probed.

"I...I'd still love her anyway." There was nothing disingenuous in his reply; the Marquis was honest and true to a fault.

Kristoff fought back a cringe, and nodded ruefully. He understood where Augustus was coming from and couldn't have wished for a better man for Elsa. Augustus was kind and sincere, but also forthright and determined, all qualities that would make for a good friend. A good lover.

_A good king._

But Augustus could never be all of those things for Elsa. Kristoff could see it in her eyes. There was friendship, there was kindness, and there was even love. But the look in her eyes did not mirror the look that Augustus gave her. It didn't overflow and shine; it didn't embolden or burn with madness. It didn't yearn.

The thought made his heart grow sick; not because he felt pity for his friend, but because the many things that were missing in Elsa's eyes were just as absent in Anna's. And no amount of pretending could deny the sudden realization that his wife didn't feel for him the same way he felt for her.

… _to be continued…_

 

EXTRAS

 **Kristoff:** “What is it, little one?  Do you wanna stay with Daddy?  Well _too bad_ , cuz she’s not here!” 

 **Anna:**   “I’m just so sick of it.  I thought that getting engaged and marrying you would make me straight…delesbianized, but I just feel so much gayer.   _All the time_.” 

 **Kristoff:**   “It’s okay, I don’t want you to feel that we have to get married.  We have a good thing here.  Ring or no ring, I will always be your beard.”

 **Anna:** “It’s just that…I’ve been so confused lately…about who I am, about my place.   _Sexing_ _Elsa_.” 

 **Kristoff:** “Telling a fake drunk story to cover the fact that you totally screwed your sister’s brains out in the library during our engagement party is hardly a crime.  If that’s the worst thing that happened, I consider us pretty lucky.”

 **Kristoff:** “I’m surprised he didn’t kill you after that.  I know of a certain fandom who is eager to line up behind him to put you down.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll have the next chapter out within a week. It’ll be Elsa/Anna-centric and will be pretty short. I wanted to add it to this chapter, but ultimately it just didn’t work with the rest of the chapter.
> 
> (12/27/15) Currently working on chapter 8 of Beyond the Ever After. Initially, I planned to make it a short chapter since there was a single scene that I just couldn't thematically fit in chapter 7, but I'm considering rearranging some of the plot in the main story, therefore expanding the chapter. This could push back publication of chapter 8 to two weeks instead of one if I decide to do that.


	8. Chapter 8

Anna hardly noticed it when Kristoff left them alone.  She hadn’t seen him turn back and pause, hadn’t noticed him watching her before he walked off, shoulders slightly slumped and disappointed.  But she had noticed Elsa.  She’d noticed the subtle hum in her voice when she spoke, the brightness in her eyes, shimmering like the early morning light, and the slight spring in her step as she entered large walk-in closet.

“You were with Augustus just now?”  Anna asked stiffly, a nervous smile strained on her lips.

“We met for breakfast just after he landed,” Elsa replied earnestly.  “I tried to talk his captain into joining us, but she had business to attend to in Corona.  It’s too bad, she seems so interesting.”

“So…they left him behind?”  She heard her voice crack, and she self-consciously cleared her throat.

“Only for a few days, maybe a week.”

Anna frowned.  She would be heading off to her uncle’s estate on the day after tomorrow.  A few days was possibly already too long, and she couldn’t imagine the ship going and returning from Corona before she was due to leave with Elsie and Kristoff.

“He’s going to be staying here?”

“Where else would he stay?”

“I don’t know.  He might really enjoy the cabins at the foot of the North Mountain.  The waterfalls are nearby.  _And_ they have fishing spots, and all those mountain trails.”

_And with any luck, he’ll get lost in them._

“That could be a nice change of pace,” Elsa answered thoughtfully.  “I haven’t been there in ages.”

Anna swallowed hard.

“You would be going too?” She squeaked.

“And Rapunzel.  And Eugene,” Elsa replied, and without skipping a beat she added, “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

There was more she wanted to ask; about Augustus, about that letter, and what Elsa’s reply would be to that mysterious question he’d asked the month before.  But when Anna opened her mouth to speak, she didn’t have the words.

“Y-you came to see me about something?”

“Gerda told me you weren’t ready yet,” Elsa admitted as she bent over and picked up a sleeveless dark green gown from the remaining dresses in the discarded pile on the floor.  She held it up for a good look and nodded approvingly to herself.  “I knew you’d be desperate for my help, and I needed to tell Kristoff about Augustus.”

Elsa pressed the dressed over Anna’s scantily covered form and instructed her to hold it while she dug through one of the dressers. 

“You don’t have to do that, Elsa.  I’ve tried this one on already, and I can’t find any gloves that match,” Anna told her, but if Elsa heard her she didn’t show it.  She was about to repeat herself when her sister turned toward her, holding up a dark green silk chiffon shawl.

“This will do so much better than gloves,” Elsa said with a self-satisfied smile as she draped the fabric over her sister’s shoulders.

Anna trembled, not immune to Elsa’s nearness.  The warmth of Elsa’s hands on her shoulders left a tingling even after she had pulled her hands away.

Then she pointed to the full length mirror and gave Anna a slight push in that direction.  Anna held the dress tightly against her chest, admiring the complementary fabrics.  Elsa had been right, of course.  The coloring was perfect and the material elegant, far more sophisticated and ideal for a young woman who had mostly outgrown the immature girl inside.

“I think you found it,” the princess expressed in surprise.  “I’ve been losing my mind for ages trying to find the right outfit, and you come in here and manage it on your first try.”

Elsa beamed girlishly, certainly much softer that she normally was.  Anna cast her eyes away feeling unnerved by the bashful glow that seemed to surround the queen.

_Is she like this because of him?_

Emboldened, Anna took a step forward and reached for Elsa’s braid, running her fingers along its length and grabbing hold of the soft feathery tip.

She should have let things go a month ago, maybe even long before that.  Before, when there was still the means to go back to how it used to be between them.  Her sister had been right, going back would be much harder, if not impossible.

“We don’t always get to choose what we want,” Anna uttered softly and quite somberly as she stared unflinchingly into Elsa’s baffled eyes.  “I know I haven’t always chosen wisely, and I know…I know that things may be very different for you,” she inhaled sharply.  “—but this is something that I need to say.”

Elsa stiffened.  Anna knew exactly what she should and shouldn’t do, but that didn’t stop her from saying what she shouldn’t ever say.

“I wanted it to be you.”

It was as if the air was sucked right out of the room.  In the silence that followed, Anna could hear nothing but the rapid beating of her heart, each beat louder than the one that came before it. 

There was nothing remotely right about this.  But it was already unraveling, with no subtleties or pretexts for either sister to hide behind.

Elsa grit her jaw and held the breath in her lungs until it burned.  One look at Anna’s face and she saw nothing but dread and regret.  It was in the tautness of her mouth, the slight nervous pucker that came just before biting her lip.  Within the curl in the crease of her brow, flickering with each involuntary tremor.  And in the teeming look in her eyes threatening to come undone.

Anna’s lips parted again, and Elsa trembled, overcome by fear for whatever words might come next.

“I wanted…you.”

~X~

_Nearly Two Years Ago_

_Days after the Grand Ball_

 

“September shouldn’t be this hot,” Anna whined, more than a little tempted to fling off her dress and run about freely in her skivvies.  She stood leaning against the shaded side of a pillar, sliding down ever so slowly as the heat drained all energy from her body.

A lethargic Kristoff lay on the nearby steps with a hand rested over his eyes, shielding them from the sun.  Apart from the subtle rise and fall of his chest, he had hardly moved since Rapunzel and Eugene disappeared into the castle to help Gerda procure them some drinks.

But that was some time ago, and Kristoff was just minutes away from dying of dehydration.

“I may not survive the day,” he groaned.

“Weakling,” Augustus cheekily remarked beside him.  For all his whining, Kristoff was the one most suitably dressed in light and airy garments.

Augustus pried at his collar and unfastened his tie, stuffing it in his jacket pocket before he undid the top buttons of his shirt.  Kristoff watched him from the corners of his eyes and chuckled softly to himself.

“Do all nobles from Montressor dress in ten pounds of clothing year round?” the ice harvester asked with as straight a face as he could, but Augustus could still hear the amusement in his voice.

“Do all icemen faint under the slightest ray of sunshine?”

Kristoff laughed.  “Maybe.”

“I’m just used to it,” Augustus explained. “I spent several summers at my uncle’s family estate, just an hour north of here.  And the last few at Crestmark with the Malachis.  There was never any shortage of sun.”

Kristoff sat up and stared out into the garden.  Stooped over, just feet from the duck pond, he could see Felicity admiring the juvenile ducklings.  A retainer stood beside her, holding up a large umbrella to shield her from the heat.  She was smiling for once, her eyes soft and expressive.

“What’s the story with her?” He asked.

“Felicity?”

Kristoff nodded.

“There’s not a whole lot to tell.  Why do you ask?”

Kristoff glanced in Anna’s direction, and in a lowered voice replied, “She drives a certain someone all stark raving loony.”

Augustus looked over to Anna who now sat facing away from them with her legs flat out in front of her and her back rested against the pillar.  She didn’t appear to be listening in on their conversation.

“She’s just a little shy,” he answered in an equally hushed voice.  “Tends to happen when you’re the daughter of a very powerful woman who doesn’t think you measure up.”

“Measure up? What does she expect? Some kind of wizard?”

“Something like that.  Her mother has some crazy expectations.”

“Oh?”

“She wants a daughter who instills fear in others; who is mean-spirited and commands a room with her mere presence.  But Felicity is too sweet and gentle by nature to ever please that woman.”  Then with a grumble in his voice he added, “Mahlia Malachi is so spiteful a human being that ‘Malevolence’ would have been a more fitting name.”

That last bit had been mostly Augustus talking to himself.  He and his mother had never liked Mahlia, and it always burned him to see how cruel she was to her own daughter.

“Sounds like a real witch.”

“You have no idea.”

Anna shifted her legs, pulling them in closer, and tilted her head against the pillar.  Kristoff and Augustus continued talking in hushed voices, completely unaware that even in her languid state she had listened in on every word.  Not that she was trying.  Even in lowered tones, their voices easily traveled.  However, none of it peaked her interest; despite her earlier reservations about Felicity, she was just a noble from some distant kingdom.  And the way she saw it, their lives would likely never intersect again.

All she could think about was that kiss.

It had been days since it happened, but the memory of it continued fresh in her thoughts.  A set of warm lips had pressed against her own, soft and feathery at first, then like sheer velvet upon her skin.  In her drunken mind, Anna had not registered the tangible connection.  Lips, heat, breath; they were disengaged from language and meaning in her dreamlike and tunneled framed of thought.  But as she emerged from her intoxication, she remembered that those lips were her own, engaged instinctively, and temperately, and wetly with Elsa’s soft, near-crushing mouth.

She had barely slept that night, lying awake and gazing out into the darkness, moonlight casting half of the room in a soft muted glow.  Anna still had been too drunk to know how to react.  So she stared.  Tried identifying the shadowed objects in the darken-side of Elsa’s room.  Closed her eyes and vacated all her thoughts. But the feelings persisted, denying her any form of peace even as her drowsy eyes begged for sleep.

It had occurred to her that maybe none of it had been real.  Nothing more than imagined sensations, or perhaps a cruel and vivid dream spun by a subconscious with a dark sense of humor.  But no vivid dream could mimic the tingling hum around her mouth from the hot breathy gasps in between kisses, or the taste of Elsa’s mouth, sweetened and bitter with wine.

Just months before, she had stood between Elsa and a sword, and now it felt like a sword was being wedged into her chest, twisting and tearing into her heart.

“Lemonade?” Rapunzel held out a drink.  The ice clinked inside the glass and condensation dribbled down the side and dripped down onto Anna’s clammy legs.

“Yes, desperately,” she replied, although slightly caught off guard by how easily she had lost herself in her thoughts.  She glanced over toward the steps where Augustus and Kristoff had sat chattering not long before, but they had already gone.

“They’re with Eugene and Felicity, over by the gondola in the garden,” Rapunzel explained when she noticed Anna look over toward the steps.  “I accosted one of the messengers leaving your sister’s council chamber,” she added with a self-satisfied glow as she held out her hand to Anna.  “The meeting should be over any minute now.”

Anna took her hand, and Rapunzel helped her up to her feet, handing her the drink as soon as her cousin finished dusting off the bottom of her dress.

“Come on,” her older cousin brightly urged, sticking her in the ribs with her elbow.  “I’ll race you over.”

And with that, Rapunzel took off in sprint, grinning and determined as she cut across the closely shorn grass.  But Anna didn’t bother.  In one long steady gulp, she emptied her glass of lemonade and set it down near the steps before she lazily made her way in her cousin’s direction.  A smirk hooked in the corner of her mouth when she noticed Rapunzel’s bare feet.

“We should hurry after her,” a voice incited behind her.  Before she could respond or turn around, Elsa appeared beside her taking her hand and pulling Anna along as she ran after their cousin.  Her silvery blonde hair swayed up and down in the hot breeze with each step as her feet trounced on the grass.  Anna couldn’t be sure if it was the onset of a heat stroke, or just bad sight, but her vision burred, and Elsa appeared like a dream in diffused sunlight.

At first, Anna let her drag her along; shuffling her feet to keep up, and holding onto the small and slender hand that clasped around hers.  It was warm and soft, yet decidedly firm, reminding her of how comforted she felt every time her older sister held onto her when they were children.  But then the memory of that kiss came hurling back at her, and a sickly ache settled in the pit of her stomach.

As if singed, Anna jerked her hand away and slowed down to a walk, offering no explanation.  Elsa paused only briefly before her attention was drawn away by Rapunzel’s sing-song declaration of triumph.  If Elsa had noticed Anna’s sudden apprehension, she didn’t show it.

She stilled in her tracks and watched them.  Elsa and Rapunzel stood laughing together, Augustus and Eugene playfully socking each other while a wide-eyed Felicity looked on.  They looked so picturesque and carefree, a contrast to the heaviness that weighed inside her chest.

Kristoff appeared from around the gondola and smiled warmly in her direction, waving her over to them.  Anna smiled back and took a moment to swallow back the chaos that fluttered in her thoughts, fully aware that the same could not be done for the turmoil in her heart, and hurried over to join them.

~X~

“Snow!” Eugene shouted as he thrust a fist up into the air.

The others laughed and cheered and looked toward Elsa with expectant eyes.  She smirked, then turned her attention to the grassy hill around them, raising a closed hand up high and opening it slowly.   And just like that, snow began to fall over the vacant hill behind the castle. 

Within minutes, a thick blanket of snow had covered the ground, tapering off at the bottom of the slope against the castle walls.  It was enough snow for Kristoff to scoop it with ungloved hands and pack it into a tight ball.  Anna eyed him suspiciously and slowly leaned down, taking a small pile of soft snow in both hands and quickly molding into a ball.  Her hands ached.

Kristoff looked at her with a grin and a wink, then hurled the snowball past Anna, just inches from her head and toward his intended target.  It smacked Eugene right on the back of his neck and sent him jumping.  Anna stared wide-eyed at Kristoff and he responded by mischievously wiggling his eyebrows  at her before sprinting off in the opposite direction from Eugene, who was now barreling toward him with an armful of snow artillery.

“Come back here and take your punishment like a man!” Eugene shouted after him, throwing snowballs with haphazard aim, near-missing a startled Felicity in the process. Anna did her best not to laugh when Felicity slipped and landed ass first in the snow.  But her suppressed laugh quickly turned into a sharp gasp when cold hands shoved handfuls of snow into the back of her dress.

Arching her back and hopelessly trying to scoop out the snow that was now melting and chilling her spine, Anna only succeeded in pushing it further down the back of her dress.  She shuttered violently and turned to Rapunzel with eyes that promised a slow and painful death.  But it didn’t last.  Within moments a loosely packed snowball slapped her on the side of her face, followed by throaty chuckled from Elsa.

“Tag,” she declared.  “And you’re It.”

There was a stunned paused before Anna dared to move.  The mixed feelings came rushing back to her and she was more than a little surprised by the sudden anger that came with them.  Elsa’s laughter was so easygoing and serene, its lyrical quality was like the soft resonating hum of a triangle instrument.  And that filled Anna with an unexpected annoyance.  As much as she hated thinking it, she couldn’t help but resent her sister for looking so happy when Anna was feeling utterly miserable.

She fixed her eyes on Elsa and dug her bare hands into the snow, barely registering how pained and numb they were as she crushed handfuls between her fingers.  Elsa watched her, bemusement glittering in her eyes, and waited for Anna to make her move.

Rapunzel looked on in silence, unable to suppress the giant smirk on her face.  She noticed the swirling magical snowflakes in Elsa’s back-turned hand, ready and waiting to strike.  But the seconds beat by and neither sister was budging to make that first move.

Slowly, doing her best not to be noticed by either of her cousins, Rapunzel began to gather snow in her hands.  If neither girl was going to take the first shot, then Rapunzel was determined to beat them to it.  But her plan was quickly interrupted when Augustus snuck up behind her and splatted an armful of snow over her head.  She squealed as she plopped forward face-first into the snow.

Elsa turned to glance over in Rapunzel’s direction.  It was just the distraction that Anna had been waiting for.  Without a moment’s hesitation, Anna grit her teeth and flung the ice-hard snowball toward her sister’s chest, a slight growl reverberating in her throat as she compressed all her anger into that swift and calculated motion.

One, two beats passed.  Another beat and it would have struck, but Elsa was faster, casting a shield just in time for the ball to spatter over it.

Anna was already balling up another one in her hand when she was bombarded by a fleet of snowballs, and Elsa’s musical laughter leading the attack.  Using her arm to protect her face, Anna trudged through the snow, plowing her way through the forceful barrage.  She had the snowball clutched tightly in her hand and was ready to attack when a fast flying snowball came hurling from out of nowhere, slapping her sister hard on her forehead and knocking her back into the snow.

Elsa plopped back, and Anna fell forward, barreling down onto her now that she didn’t have a storm of snowballs to hold her back.  The snow was high now.  Soft and powdery, the girls sank through it and were semi-buried as Anna clung to her sister.

The first thing Anna noticed was how warm Elsa felt beneath her.  No matter how often they touched, this always came as a surprise to her.  But she was also quite cognizant of the evocative way her face was buried in the hollow of Elsa’s neck, and how her leg rested between her thighs; the heat radiating between Elsa’s legs and warming Anna’s knee and upper leg.  A heat that slowly spread over her and settle into a hot flush on her cheeks.

Pressing her numb hands into the snow, Anna propped herself up to her hands and knees.  Powdery snow, cascaded down her hair and onto Elsa, who remained beneath her, tented by Anna’s warm body.

Flakes of snow were already melting and dripping down Anna’s blushed skin; down her cheeks, along her hair-line, and trailing down her neck.  Yet Elsa, who was mostly submerged in it, and whose fringe was powdered with it, remained dry.  Even her complexion had seen little change.  There was a blot of redness on her forehead where the stray snow ball had made impact, and a slight coloring in her cheeks, maybe a bit brighter than usual.  But she was mostly unaffected.

Looking down at Elsa, Anna forgot to be angry.  Instead she was struck by a sense of déjà vu as she slowly reached her hand to Elsa’s face, grazing her frosty fingers over her sister’s reddened forehead.  It amazed her at how quickly their skin to skin contact warmed her hand, and she surprised herself by leaning in closer, their faces just inches apart.

“Are you alright?”  Anna asked as she settled her hand down to Elsa’s cheek, gently cupping her palm and fingers over the delicate curve of her jawline.

“I think…I think I’m fine.”  For all her composure, Elsa suddenly seemed quite out of breath.  Her lips slightly parted and the swell of chest rising and falling in rhythm with the seconds.

Flecks of white reflected off of Elsa’s wide eyes, and Anna imagined that she was glimpsing into the windows of winter.  The part of herself that still clung to her earlier resentment enjoyed watching Elsa squirm; a fitting revenge for the stolen kiss just nights before.  But another part of herself, a part she didn’t recognize, wanted to draw in closer to those wintery eyes, to her blushing cheeks, longing for things she couldn’t put into words.

“You two need a hand?” Kristoff’s voice practically boomed and Anna was jarred out of the inexplicable moment of tenderness she and Elsa had shared.

Anna took his arm and he pulled her up to her feet, the snow sliding off her clothes.  She looked back and Elsa was rising to her feet as well, holding onto Augustus’ arm as she straightened up.

Kristoff laughed and said something, but Anna had heard nothing more than the rumblings of his voice as she dusted off the remaining snow from her dress and struggled to will away the hot blush that had consumed her.  Looking past Kristoff she saw Felicity, not a speck of snow on her, but her hands red and trembling.  Her eyes were torn between resentment and guilt as she watched Elsa rest her hand in the crook of the Marquis’ arm.

For some reason, Anna couldn’t bring herself to blame Felicity for the feelings she wore plain on her face.  Something about them seemed to hit Anna a little too close to home.  Something like a mirror, or like things that were yet to come.

 

_…to be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is a bit on the short side, but that’s only because I’ve decided to split it in two. Love it? Hate it? Meh? Until next time.


	9. Chapter 9

_Nearly Two Years Ago_

_Days after the Grand Ball_

Felicity hadn’t intended to strike Elsa in the face when she balled up that snowball.

Augustus had stayed at her side when the snow began to fall, and as soon as the first cold tremor made its way up her limbs, he’d draped his jacket over her shoulders.  A warm look had passed between them, and she’d remembered sleeping in his embrace when she was a child.  Back then he’d been the big brother she had always wanted.  He was the boy with the golden smile, with welcoming open arms.  And over the years that hadn’t changed.

Felicity couldn’t contain the excited quiver that fluttered up her spin and tickled the corners of her mouth when Augustus handed her a small palm-sized snowman.  He had even used two small pebbled for the eyes.

“You’re not too cold?” he’d asked her, a worried vein strained on his right temple.  But he had the look of a brother in his eyes, not a lover or a fiancé.

“You worry too much,” she’d answered, pressing her cold fingers on his face and tracing the scar on his cheek.  “But don’t think that I’m not grateful.”

“It can’t be helped,” he said as he ruffled her hair like he often had when she was a child.  “I’ll always worry about you.”

She cast her eyes down to the snow that was thickening at her feet.  Despite the warm blush that tingled her cheeks, a heavy ache had woven its way into her chest.  It was a lonely feeling, like her heart was slowly hollowing out.  Lonely, but also bitter.

“I’m not a child,” she replied firmly, unable to mask the curt bite of her words.  “Please don’t treat me like one.”  Gently, she pulled his hand away, delighting over the spark she felt whenever their hands touched, but also regretting it as he silently nodded.  She was asking him to stop coddling her, and she knew he would respect that.  But that also meant that there would be no more playful caresses, no more affectionate tousling of hair.  No more clinging to his coattails.

Felicity had always lived for those moments, taken them as proof of his affections.  But there was a gap in the way he looked at her and the queen.  The wider that gap grew, the more painful his attentions became.  And as much as she wanted him to notice her, she didn’t want him to see her as nothing more than a kid sister.

So, when the queen and her sister broke into an intense snowball fight and Felicity noticed the way he looked at Elsa, his eyes gleaming, mouth slightly parted, and his breaths a touch more pronounced, she felt a sharp constriction in her chest.  Felicity crushed the tiny snowman in her hand and, fueled by mounting bitterness, pressed it into a single tightly packed ball, ignoring the cold ache in her fingers.

“Adorable,” Augustus uttered under his breath, his eyes fixed on Elsa and his voice barely audible as the winds picked up shortly after the snow stopped falling, their clothes flapping loudly, billowing with the breeze.

That’s when she threw it.

Felicity wasn’t a strong girl by any means.  Words like ‘meek’ and ‘dainty’ were often used to describe her by members of the court and visiting dignitaries.  Her own mother saw her as feeble and weak, and had not been shy about saying so on many occasions.  And yet, when that snowball flew from her hands, the spark of anger she felt inside only made it accelerate faster as it hurled toward the queen.

It struck Elsa hard on the forehead, hard enough to send her sprawling backwards into the snow, and her sister down with her.  When they didn’t rise up to their feet right away, Augustus took a hesitant step toward them.  Felicity reached for the hem of his shirt, desperately not wanting him to go to the queen’s side, but just as her shaky hand grazed the silken fabric, she stiffened and closed her fingers.  In a span of a heartbeat, Augustus was making his way toward Elsa, and Felicity could only stare at his back as she watched him go.

She was shaking again, and it was only then that she realized that Augustus’ jacket has slipped off her shoulders and sunk into the powdery snow near her feet.

 _Love leaves you weak and vulnerable,_ Felicity heard her mother’s disapproving words echo in her thoughts.   _Better to be smart and cunning.  Dragons have no need for useless things._

The castle grounds back home was riddled with figures and carvings of dragons.  Jagged, gnarled beastly faces and scaly bodies cut into stone walls and woven into flags.  They were in their Coat of Arms and on the family seal.  The horrifying figures were everywhere.  A menacing dragon statue kept in the long corridor outside her room gave her nightmares until the age of twelve.  The Malachi legacy was founded on stories and folklore of fairies, dragons, and powerful leaders.  And Felicity, the sole heir of this legacy, embodied none of those things.

 _Love, compassion, kindness…these things are not weaknesses_ , Augustus had once told her as he’d wiped away her tears.   _They are your greatest assets._

She had wanted to believe that the concern and affection brimming in his eyes was love.  That maybe he felt for her a fraction of what she felt for him.  Their parents had always hoped they’d marry.  Even though the Hawkins were on a lower social standing than the Malachis, they had money and controlled key trade routes.  And her parents sought to expand their political influence through such a marriage.  But Felicity only ever wanted his love.

In the distance, she watched as Augustus helped Elsa to her feet.  Watched her slip her arm around his as they began to make their way down the hill, past a row of tall, pale trees with wide trunks.  She was suddenly quite aware of the ache in her fingers, and it filled her with shame.

_Why did I…?_

Before they fell out of view, she caught the smile he gave the queen when he leaned over and whispered something in her ear.  Elsa looked up at him and laughed.  She rested her head against his shoulder, just as Felicity had often done in the past, and that same spark of anger came back to her.  Only now it wasn’t just a spark, it swelled and burned.

That night after she’d spied them kissing in the gallery, Felicity had convinced herself that they’d probably been too drunk to realize what they done.  She had laid awake in her bed that night, the curtains wide open and the light of the blue moon flooding her chambers.  The ticking of the mantle clock had been unbearably loud, even as it ticked in unison with her restless heart.

Sleep only came to her after she convinced herself of that lie.  And come morning, when Felicity caught no meaningful looks or sideway glances between them, her conviction had been affirmed.  But now, as Augustus and the queen disappeared from her sight beyond the trees, arms linked and Elsa’s laughter resonating in over the wind, she felt something crack inside.

And then the ground rumbled softly beneath her, and the tremor slowly made its way toward the line of trees, shaking the snow along the path of footprints.  An inexplicable deep crack split across the row of trees, bringing one of them crashing down.

Eugene and Rapunzel rush up to the fallen tree and called out to Augustus and Elsa.

“I don’t see them, do you?”  Rapunzel asked her husband after she’d made her way around the fallen tree.

Eugene hunched down and scanned past the trees, then pointed down the hill.  Elsa and Augustus had already cleared their way to the bottom and clearly hadn't felt or heard the ground shake when the tree collapsed into the snow.

Kristoff whistled loudly.

“You think it was lightning?” He wondered out loud, but the dubious look in Anna’s eyes as she studied the odd cracks on the neighboring trees showed that she was unconvinced.

In the minutes that passed, Felicity hadn’t moved.  In fact, she hadn’t flinched when the tree had struck the ground.  She had only heard a loud cracking from within, extending through her limbs and down her spine, and splintering inside her chest.

 _Why her?_ She wanted to scream.   _Why not me?_

 _Such a disappointment,_ her mother’s voice cut across her thoughts mockingly.  She remembered failed lessons from long ago, trying to turn a spinning wheel with sheer will alone from the other end of the room.  But each attempt was simply another notch to add to the mountain of failure.

Her mother may have forsaken her as a disappointment, but at least she still had Augustus.

 _But he was never really yours,_ the small voice belonging to her younger self whispered in her thoughts _._ It was the tear-strained voice of the neglected girl that still lived inside her.  A girl who still wanted her mother’s love, who only ever saw her father when she stood formally alongside her parents in greeting whenever they received nobles and politicians.  She was seen, but never heard.

But Augustus listened.  And so did the little blue-eyed crow that used to visit at her window every morning, leaving her buttons and shiny rocks for the pieces of bread she left for him on the balcony.  He used to listen to her too, until an especially bad winter took him away from her one day.

Every inch of her ached.  As much as she wanted it, she couldn’t will her feelings away.  She couldn’t pretend to believe in the lie.  Jealousy ran deeper than any fiction she could tell herself.  Jealousy was a malevolent dragon.  And it was seething with fiery breath within her breaking and hollowing heart.

 

_...to be continued..._

* * *

 

**Gag Reel Extras**

**Anna:**  What the hell, Elsa!  Is it true?  Were you snuggling up against Jim Hawkins??

 **Elsa:**  Snugging is hardly the right word…

 **Anna:** You were leaning your head on his shoulder, Elsa.   _His shoulder._   _And_ your arms were linked.

 **Elsa:**  [ _stares pointedly at Felicity_ ] Blame ‘ _MarySue’_ over there for that.  She’s the one that nearly popped my head off with that snowball.

 **Felicity:**  I—I’m not a M-MarySue.  I’m—

 **Elsa:**  Sorry, Ms _‘OC’_ then.

 **Felicity:**  N-n-no, I’m—

 **Anna:**  [ _to Elsa_ ] Don’t be a bully.  Even non-Disney characters have feelings, you know.

 **Felicity:** But I’m—

 **Anna:** And besides, Ms ‘OC’ didn’t force you and Jim Hawkins to get all gross and flirty with each other.

 **Elsa/Augustus:** [ _In unison_ ] We weren’t flirting!

 **Anna:** ‘MarySue’ said you were flashing Eva your pearly whites, Jim Hawkins…or Augustus…or whatever the hell your name is.

[ _Felicity storms off_ ]

 **Augustus/Jim:** It’s Jim.  Or Augustus…maybe both.   _I think_.  Anyways, I wasn’t smiling.  I just have acid reflux, makes me look like I’m smiling when it’s acting up.

 **Anna:** [ _stares dubiously at Jim…or Augustus_ ] Is that so?

 **Augustus/Jim:** Yes?

 **Anna:** [ _glares_ ] Liar.

 **Augustus/Jim:** Okay, _fine._  I was flirting.  But you can’t blame me for that.  Your sister _is hot._

 **Kristoff:** [ _raises an admiring brow at Elsa_ ] Ain’t that the truth.

 **Anna:** [ _elbows Kristoff_ ] Stop it. Don’t be gross.  We don’t want to give the writer any weird ideas.

 **Kristoff:** _Fine, fine._ [ _to Jim…or Augustus_ ]  She’s all yours, buddy.

 **Elsa:** Nope.

[ _Felicity perks up from the other end of the room_ ]

 **Augustus/Jim:** No?

 **Elsa:** Not happening.

 **Augustus/Jim:** Then why am I even here?

 **Anna:** I ask that very question every day, Mr. Whatever-Your-Name-Is.  Every. Day.

 **Augustus/Jim:** [ _worried_ ] But I’m still getting paid for this gig, right?

 **Eugene:** [ _to Rapunzel_ ] I don’t think anyone realizes that we’re also in the room.

 **Rapunzel:** [ _distracted and staring _dreamy-eyed_ at Jim..er, um, Augustus_ ] If Elsa isn’t interested in Jim Hawkins, do you think I have a shot at him?

[ _ _Felicity stiffens and the ground begins to shake and crack at her feet__ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally intended this to be a part of chapter 8, but now I see that it works better as a short stand-alone chapter. Sorry, I know it's not the chapter you guys were hoping for.


	10. Chapter 10

_I wanted it to be you._

The words were suspended in time. Swelling and pulsating in the air and resounding off the walls of the tiny room. She was breathing them in. They were in her lungs, on her skin, in her thoughts. Saturating every crevice and surface.

Breathing seemed quite a complicated thing at that moment. Elsa understood the basic mechanics of it – _breathe in and release–_ but it wasn't coming naturally to her. It was as if her body had forgotten how, and she now had to make the conscious effort. Except she was overcompensating, and her breaths came heavier and faster. Labored and unnatural.

_I wanted you._

She remembered the wedding night, after the guests had gone and the new husband and wife had sailed off into vast waters. The quiet castle walls, rooms and hallways lit by candlelight. She'd traversed through every hall and nearly every vacant room with only her shadow to keep her company. The library had been her final stop, and as she'd gripped the handle and pushed the door open, Elsa had wondered if the library had been her goal all along.

The musty scent of books and old parchment had been near suffocating, but she'd cut through it and across the room to the sofa waiting for her at the end of it. She'd caught a vague scent of lilacs from the fabric, and a thin layer of moisture collected around her eyes. An odd tingling ache had overcome her, nesting itself in the pit of her stomach.

_I wanted you._

She poured ink all over the upholstery, ink taken from a bottle she'd swiped from a nearby desk. The following morning Elsa had ordered the sofa be destroyed. _Burned._ It was the strangest request she'd ever made, and she could see the strangeness of it reflecting in her attendant's perplexed eyes as he carried it out without question.

But it hadn't been enough.

There was the night of Elsie's birth. A day that had come too soon and shaken her resolve. She had not expected the feelings that came over her when she passed the sleeping infant into Kristoff's eager arms. Nor the empty feelings that accompanied them after.

_I wanted y—_

She balled her hands into fists.

_Well, I wanted a lot of things too._

"Don't." Elsa wasn't sure how much time had passed in the silence between them. _Five seconds? Ten Seconds?_ Each passing moment felt infinitely long.

Anna knit her brows in confusion.

" _Don't?_ I don't think you—"

"You can't do this."

"Elsa, I—"

"You promised," Elsa insisted firmly, accusation bleeding from her words. "You said—we would never discuss what happened—what happened that—" _that night_. She couldn't bring herself to say it. To say it out loud would give it substance, and what happened that night _hadn't_ happened at all.

" _You promised_."

"I—I know I did," Anna answered meekly, a trace of guilt stiffening in her face, "I realize that I'm breaking my word _. But it's different now_."

She was almost pleading when she uttered those last words, as if it could imbue them with the hope and optimism of the simple naïveté she clung to. Elsa searched Anna's eyes and could see from the resolute and nervous look in them that she was not about to let this go.

"I need to go" Elsa declared after a terse pause. She hurriedly pulled a ring from her finger and set it on the dresser drawer. "This is for Elsie. I thought it would be nice for her to wear it to her christening. It was mother's ring. You can string it into her necklace for the ceremony."

Anna gazed down at the ring and then at Elsa. She looked perfectly composed. Not a hair out of place, or a crease on her brow.

"Why are you avoiding this?"

Elsa was anything but composed. She was an expert at concealing. Throw her into a den full of lions and she'd be nothing but smiles.

"You're avoiding me," Anna insisted, taking a step too close for Elsa to ignore.

"We can't do this right now," Elsa replied evenly, avoiding eye contact with her sister. She took a step back, her movements brusque as she practically slingshot herself away from Anna, but her face remained poised and unruffled. "We need to be in the cathedral in an hour and you still need to finish getting ready."

She was already making her way toward the door when Anna bolted after her.

"Wait! Elsa, no." she clasped onto Elsa's wrist, and with her free hand she closed the closet door shut. "We need to talk about this."

Elsa's whole body tensed, as rigid as the statues in the south gardens. Anna still had her fingers firmly fastened around her stony arm, too anxious to let go.

"Why?" Elsa muttered, her voice came low and deep, and rumbled under her breath. Anna couldn't see her face, but the thickness in her sister's voice only increased her own apprehension.

When Anna didn't reply, Elsa tore her hand away from her grasp.

" _Why?_ " She asked once more, but it was less a question and more an accusation, laden with an overwhelming anger and bitterness that Anna had not expected. "Because it's _different_ now?"

Elsa turned to face her, anger teeming in her eyes. Anna recoiled, unprepared for the Elsa that stood before her.

"Yes," she half whispered.

And Elsa replied with a soft and cynical laugh.

"Tell me," Elsa began, staring unflinchingly into Anna's eyes. "Just how are things _different_ now?"

Anna couldn't seem to find her voice. She felt like it had wedged itself in her throat, tight as a ball.

"I'm waiting," Elsa stared expectantly. "Can't think of anything? Not a word?"

But the only thing that passed between them was the heavy silence in the room. Anna broke her eyes away and dropped her stare to the pile of dresses remaining on the floor, wishing she could crawl beneath them.

"Then allow me," Elsa went on, fighting back the quiver that was threatening its way into her voice. "Well, you're married now. _Married_. _That's different._ You're a mother and a wife. You have a family to look after. _That's pretty different._ "

The tension in Anna's throat grew tighter and she couldn't swallow back the nerves that had taken her voice hostage. Not that she had any reply, and no amount of protesting could make Elsa's words any less true.

"Yes, you're right, Anna. Everything is different now." Elsa was shaking now, her voice quivered and cracked, and her hands trembled. "So, this now...us talking. There's no place for it. We swore to forget about it. A _long time_ ago."

"I never promised to forget," Anna finally spoke up, almost defiantly, as courage made its way back to her and returned her voice. She stared boldly at her sister, and with greater assertiveness added, "I don't want to forget."

A startled looked flitted across Elsa's face, her eyes went wide in surprise and her mouth lightly agape. That tightness that often seized her chest and constricted her heart whenever they accidentally touched, had taken hold of her again, a little more bitter and aching. She quickly tucked away the surprise on her face, burying it under her crumbling composure.

"But you did promise we'd never—we'd never be having this conversation."

"Then…I guess I lied."

A long stretch of silence came over them. Elsa leaned back against the closet door, tipping her head back, and closed her eyes. Anna bit her lip and played with the stray hairs that had come undone from her hair bun. Her eyes remained fixed on Elsa, conscious of her every movement; the small rippled in her throat as she swallowed, the swell and fall of her chest with every breath she took.

"You're so unfair," Elsa finally replied, exhaling sharply.

"And you're not?"

Another muted pause fell over them, but it wasn't as tense as before. If anything, it was a relief. A refuge from the words that twisted and weighed them down.

~X~

"Anna's still not ready yet?" King Claudius asked as soon as he saw Augustus and a wifeless Kristoff make their way into the cathedral. He was pleased to see that Kristoff was far more comfortable in his skin than he used to be. Unlike his own son-in-law, a cocky former thief who had less than humble beginnings, Kristoff had not been quick to assume his princely role. But that was quickly changing.

Queen Isabella rose from the pew and smiled warmly at the boys. With the exception of the king and his wife, and a few attendants waiting diligently at the entrance, the guests had yet to arrive.

"This is Anna we're talking about." Augustus was quick to point out. "I think it's safe to say that she is never ready. You can always count on her for that, uncle."

Kristoff laughed, all the while nodding in agreement.

"Well, she's hardly late…yet," the queen chimed in, clumsily defending her niece.

"Don't worry, she'll be on time today," Kristoff assured.

The king gave Kristoff a mystified look. "And just how do you plan on managing that?"

Kristoff responded with a self-assured grin, a look that was more befitting of Eugene than the former mountain man.

"I told him to tell Anna that the ceremony is an hour earlier than it actually is," Rapunzel interjected as she made her entrance, her voice echoing off the walls.

She waddled in, feet bare, her hands supporting her lower back and her swollen belly protruding forward. Eugene was practically glued to her side, his wife's jacket draped over his arm and her purse strapped over his shoulder.

"When you can't force a lush to drink water, sometimes you've got to convince her that it's wine," Rapunzel elucidated wryly.

Eugene glanced down at his wife, casting her a dubious look.

"Seems pretty sneaky to me, and _what's with that analogy?_ "

"Says the former thief," Augustus jibed and the cathedral chorused with their laughter.

"I think it's simply brilliant," Kristoff enthused. As much as he loved his wife, he'd come to dread attending formal ceremonies with her. Despite his best efforts, Anna only seemed to grow more lax, and his queen increasingly annoyed. The last time they had stumbled in late was to a ship christening ceremony, a ship that was named in the princess's honor. Elsa's eyes had been poisonous daggers. _She could have killed me with that stare._

"I'm amazed that you've never tried it before," Rapunzel confessed. "It's practically chapter one in the relationship handbook. I use it all the time on Eugene."

"W-what?" Eugene sputtered.

"Well, you spend more time on your hair than Narcissus spends admiring his own reflection," his wife teased, reaching her hand up and ruffling his hair.

"You should be grateful for my handsome locks," was Eugene's smug reply. "Between your hair and mine, our child will be follicly gifted." Grinning broadly, he leaned over and took a kiss from Rapunzel's mouth.

Kristoff's smile drooped a little as he watched them. The teasing and the playful banter, he and Anna used to have that once.

_What happened to us?_

"I'm actually surprised that you came at all, cousin." Augustus admitted to Rapunzel. He looked her up and down, amazement and disbelief pronounced on his face as his eyes settled on her swollen stomach.

"We tried to convince her to stay home," Eugene explained as his eyes knowingly met the king's. "But 'crazy' here was quite adamant about coming."

Eugene stared pointedly at his wife even as King Claudius nodded his agreement.

"Don't you two start with your looks again," Rapunzel warned her husband and her father. "And same goes for you, Augustus." She turned to give him his equal share of the dirty look she'd cast Eugene and the king. "I'm six months along—"

"Almost seven," Eugene corrected.

"And the physician doesn't think I'm in any real danger of suddenly going into labor—"

"He didn't think it would be wise for her to travel," Eugene added and Rapunzel rolled her eyes.

"—but he came along to make sure that nothing happened. Totally safe." She gave her husband a backhanded slap on his side before her mother guided her by the arm to a nearby pew.

"Have you two decided on names yet?" Kristoff asked.

Eugene and Rapunzel exchanged bright glances.

"We have decided on names, we were just waiting to announce them once we got a little closer to delivering," Rapunzel explained as she rested a hand over her belly. "Call us superstitious, but it seemed like bad luck to say anything too soon."

Eugene nodded.

"Nothing worse than bad timing."

Kristoff agreed, all the while wondering if Anna would make it on time after all.

~X~

"You really have the worst timing with these things," Elsa remarked, remembering that unspoken night; Anna's silent and unwavering stare, and the warm glow of candlelight that had glinted in her eyes. Those eyes had left Elsa speechless and lost deep within the pools of her sister's blue irises.

"What things?" Anna had a blank look on her face, and it crossed Elsa's mind that maybe her sister wasn't always as simple as she sometimes appeared to be.

"Things. Like now. Like…" In spite of everything, she still couldn't bring up that night in the library. "Like then."

"Why won't you say it, Elsa?"

"Say what?" Elsa bit the inside of her cheek. With every word that came out of Anna's mouth, Elsa was pressed further into a corner, and her composure cracked and caved under the pressure.

"You _know_ what. I see it in your eyes every time." Anna could hardly miss the miserable look in Elsa's eyes, as if the unspoken words alone brought her physical pain.

"I don't know what you expect from me. Why do you insist on dragging this out, Anna? It happened _ages_ ago. Why now?"

"Because I _feel_ it. Don't you? This massive thing between us, it's so suffocating, and it just…it just keeps getting bigger."

 _I feel it,_ she wanted to say, but the voice of reason continued to whisper in her ear.

"If there's something between us, it's because _you_ put it there. _I didn't want this. I didn't ask for any of this._ You're the one who-who…"

"Say it."

There had been mouths, and hands, and soft pert flesh. Breathy whispers in the dark. Whimpers and cries, muffled by lips and long drawn out caresses. The memory of it persisted with vivid detail, and closing her eyes only enhanced it; her body recalling every sensation and touch.

"You're the one who kissed me." The words were barely more than a whisper, but they had power over Elsa, making her feel weak and small.

"And you were there…kissing me right back," Anna shot back unflinchingly.

Elsa cringed and looked away. Shame swallowed her up and waves of nausea rippled from her stomach and out to her toes and fingertips.

"I—I s-shouldn't have," Elsa sputtered, her face redder than Anna had ever seen it. "I got caught up in the moment, and, and it was…. It was a big mistake. That whole night was a mistake. And this, now, talking about it is a mistake."

It was Anna's turn to flinch.

 _Is this really what I wanted?_ Anna wondered. She had never seen her sister look so upset, not even when they'd learned their parents would never come home.

"You're probably right," Anna admitted dolefully. "This is probably a mistake. All of it. Sometimes I wish I could undo that night, and that maybe we wouldn't be where we are. And I wouldn't—" her throat constricted sharply and she fought back the threat of tears. "I wouldn't have so many regrets. But I think, even if we could undo that, we would've somehow ended up here anyways. The thing is, it wouldn't change how I feel."

"I can't hear this from you."

Anna smiled sadly.

"I just needed you to know."

"You know what I know? You're my _sister_! That's what I know, and that's all I need to know."

"You think I don't get how messed up this is?"

"I'm not sure that you do."

"I tried everything to deny these feelings I have. And now it's like I'm imprisoned by the choices that I've made. But despite all my bad choices, the one I regret the least is us that night." Anna confessed, taking a tentative step closer. "I'd never felt so alive, the way I felt being with you. And I thought that maybe if you felt it t—"

"I can't listen anymore," Elsa snapped, the anger seething off of her, just moments away from exploding. "Everyone is waiting for us. _I'm leaving_." She pushed passed Anna, her composure completely stripped away, and nothing but fear and anger to conceal the dangerous feelings constrained just under the surface.

It was without question that the ceremony would not go on without them. At worst, there would be a cathedral full of guests waiting for them to show, even with the time bought from Kristoff's little fib to Anna. But Elsa hardly cared anymore, she just needed to breathe, and she would only suffocate if she stayed.

"I was awake that night!"

Elsa froze. Her hand was curled around the door handle. Just one quick turn and pull and she would have been out the door. But she couldn't move. Every muscle, every instinct betrayed her. Anna said nothing, but she could feel her eyes boring into her back.

It took everything in her to swallow the tightness in her throat and speak.

"I don't know what you mean," she answered slowly, her voice thick and cracking.

"The night of the first Grand Ball," Anna elaborated.

Elsa didn't dare look back. Her eyes were fixated on the door handle, and her stiffened hand was still fighting her instincts to run.

"I was drunk, and you brought me to your room," Anna went on. "I had so much to drink that night that I could barely keep my eyes open. But I was awake."

"You were awake?" Elsa echoed, dazed and stunned.

"You keep pushing all of this on me, but you're just as much to blame as I am." Despite the conviction in her voice, those words didn't shed away any of her guilt.

"You were awake," Elsa repeated, mostly to herself now, barely aware that Anna had still been speaking.

Anna wasn't sure what she expected from Elsa, but she certainly expected more than the frozen statue and she'd turned into.

"Elsa?" She waited for an answer and, when none came, Anna reached for her. Her fingers had only grazed Elsa's slumped shoulders, but it was enough to startle her back to reality, even if it was to shrink away from Anna's touch.

"You went through so many gowns," Elsa nervously remarked, her voice a little strained as she turned, staring at a pile of dresses that remained on the floor. She moved passed Anna, avoiding her eyes, and crouched down the pile, taking an armful. "It's probably gonna take the better part of the day for the chambermaids to get all this straightened out."

Anna followed her with her eyes, and watched her as she tried to stack and steady the dresses over the already growing pile on top of the chest that she kept at the at the far corner of the closet pushed up against the walls.

"Stop it," Anna begged softly.

"If we pile on anymore dresses, they're gonna slide right off," Elsa observed. Had she heard Anna's plea, her face didn't show it. "Maybe we can just push the rest to the corner."

"Stop it!" Anna was standing behind her now. "I couldn't care less about the dresses."

Elsa tried to inch past her, but Anna sidestepped and blocked her.

 _I'm literally cornered,_ she realized as she faced the corner walls, with Anna and the storage chest obstructing her path.

" _Say something._ "

Exhaling sharply, Elsa turned to face her sister. Her head was cocked a bit to the side, and wisps of her dark, tied-up hair curled along her neck. But what she noticed most was her eyes; her large, brilliant blue eyes. They were just inches away from hers. Elsa hadn't expected to be standing so close, not quite a foot apart. _Too close._ She planted her hands on the storage chest behind her and leaned back into it, forcing more space between her and Anna. A task made harder by the piles of silky fabric that covered the surface of the chest. Elsa had to cling onto the fabric just to keep steady.

"You were awake. What more is there to say?" Elsa glared back at Anna, and they seemed less like sisters and more like a coerced prisoner and her captive.

"I want a _real_ answer from you." Anna leaned forward, undermining Elsa's efforts to maintain a semblance of distance between them. "I deserve that much."

Elsa considered it for a moment. A real answer. Regardless of the consequences. But she couldn't afford to be so reckless and irresponsible. At best, she could only offer a half truth.

"We don't always get what we want," she answered grimly, and she remembered every moment of resentment that she'd felt toward Kristoff. Hating him for having all the things she wanted. And Anna. Hating herself for things she shouldn't.

Anna searched Elsa's face, studied her eyes, but she could find nothing more than a scowl staring back at her.

"I guess we don't," Anna replied coldly. "I guess we just—"

But she didn't get the chance to finish that thought. Leaning over her sister as she was, with only one arm to steady herself on an unstable surface, her hand slipped and she fell forward. Knocking right into Elsa.

Elsa yelped in surprise and groaned from the impact. She was pinned awkwardly against the storage chest. Between Anna's weight pressing on top of her, and the silky gowns cushioned beneath her, Elsa's hips were pushed up onto the chest and her feet off the ground. Their bodies were forced into an uncomfortable embrace, their faces so close that their noses were touching. Anna hadn't moved, her quickened breath warm on Elsa's lips, and Elsa realized that a few of the gowns has slipped down during their tussle with gravity and had compromised her sister's footing.

"Here, let me help," Elsa mumbled, increasingly flustered and unable to shake the sense of Déjà vu from their predicament. She slipped her arms around Anna's waist and held on tightly, doing her best to ignore the undeniable flutter in her stomach. "Try to stand now."

Anna gripped her hands on Elsa's bare shoulders, using her sister as an anchor to pull herself up. She'd managed to plant one foot firmly over the silk-covered floor when Elsa, unable to steady both their weight, began to slide forward. Anna was quick to slip her arms around Elsa's neck just as they cascaded down onto the floor, plopping hard onto a pile of dresses with an avalanche of silk gowns not far behind.

Dresses heaped over them and they were practically entombed in silk and chiffon. It reminded Anna of the makeshift tents she used to build in her room when she was a child, using bedsheets and chairs. Except, back then her only companions were her make believe friends. She had snuck in a possum once, and clothed him in her doll's fashionable apparel, but the castle staff had been in an uproar about it when the critter escaped from her room and challenged the head cook to an embittered tug of war over a lobster tail. The cook had nearly quit after that.

It took Anna a moment to regain her senses and realize that her face was pressed against Elsa's neck and her arms encircled over her shoulders. Elsa was also very much aware of the way Anna straddled her lap, her hips jutted forward and her knees and legs clamped firmly around Elsa's thighs, denying her the freedom to move.

It occurred to Anna that neither of them had made an attempt to pull away. Elsa's arms remained fixed around Anna's waist and their chests were pressed against the other. Somehow, being blanketed in darkness under a mountain of dresses, their bodies entwined, and the air warmed between them with every breath they took was like being intoxicated. Only she was drunk on a feeling, that longing aching feeling that shaped every bad decision she'd ever made.

She pressed her lips against Elsa's neck, tentatively at first, nipping along the smooth flesh just under her jaw. A soft gasp hitched in Elsa's throat, and Anna was roused to take it further, tracing open-mouthed kisses along her jawline, working her tongue and wet lips to illicit another response as she slowly made her way to Elsa's mouth.

As soon as their lips touched, their mouths came together fiercely, crushing and taking, almost painfully so. Elsa pressed harder still, pushing into Anna's mouth, pulling at her hips. Pulling and releasing in waves. She could feel every intake of breath on her lips as Anna struggled for air; taking in tattered breaths even as she began to rock her hips, and Elsa drew from their mounting arousal, curling and squeezing her hands on Anna's firm hips.

She took Anna's bottom lip, nipping it softly, careful not to bite down too hard, nipping and sucking, and drawing out a breathless groan.

"I want—" Elsa gasped, then paused, realizing what she had been about to say.

_What am I doing?_

She pulled away, pulled her lips away, and although she couldn't see Anna, she could feel her heated breath on her face just as she was certain Anna could feel hers.

"We shouldn't," her mangled voice managed to say between gasps.

"Yes, we shouldn't," Anna murmured back, leaning forward. Her mouth once again on Elsa's, kissing and nipping at her lips.

"Stop."

Elsa tried to pull away, but she was trapped by the storage chest behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit down hard.

Anna jolted back. The mountain of dresses came falling down between them and they could see again. Barely. Elsa's eyes ached, overwhelmed by the light. When her eyes readjusted, she could see a small trickle of blood welling and staining Anna's lip.

"It had to stop," Elsa choked out.

Anna swiped her thumb across her mouth and smeared off the blood. It was hardly much, but the sight of it left her wide-eyed and stunned.

"You probably should go," Anna rasped as she rose to her feet, but instead of waiting on Elsa to leave, she moved to make her own exit.

"You weren't wrong, Anna," Elsa called out to her, pushing herself up to her feet. "You weren't wrong about me," she repeated even louder and Anna paused in her tracks, Elsa's shameful confession still resonating in the air between them. But Elsa couldn't leave it at that. She couldn't submit to her admission without another half-truth to keep the distance.

"Back then…I wanted you too."

 _Past tense._ A fixed point in time with a definite end.

And Anna walked out the door.

~X~

"How nice to be so young," the queen remarked, slipping her arm around her husband's and resting her head against his shoulder. "It's so nostalgic. Watching them, and remembering how we used to be. It makes my heart ache a little."

"Are you saying we're old?"

The queen chuckled, "At the very least, seasoned. And maybe a little old."

"Our hair is grayer."

"If only we didn't have to deal with wrinkles," she bemoaned softly.

"Don't fret, my dear," her husband gently soothed and kissed the top of her head. "I love your wrinkles."

He sought out her hand and entwined their fingers.

"I miss everyone," the queen said ruefully. "I always imagined that we'd all grow old together. We'd drink and sit around telling stories of the good old days, argue over whose grandchild was the cutest… _which would be ours of course_ , and complain about getting old and fat."

"What was it that Hawkins used to call us? The Six Musketeers?" the king remembered, and a small smile touched his lips. "Irene and Julianna, hated that. They used to team up and elbow him every time he said it."

The queen laughed. "How could I forget? But that was all your kid sister's doing, not mine. Irene always went along with everything Julianna said. And Julianna was just bitter because Hawkins kept calling her 'Freckles'."

The king shook his head, his mouth curled in amusement at the shared memory.

"She was certainly very passionate, _and daring_. Our mother was always beside herself, afraid she was going to crack her head open sliding down the bannister, or racing against the boys." The king had been just as guilty of worrying and hovering over Julianna like a concerned parent. With a twelve year age difference, it had been hard for him not to. "I don't think she ever lost a horse race to Hawkins or Argos."

"Argos used to call her a spitfire."

"Time gets away from us so easily," Claudius remarked somberly. "People slip in and out of our lives. Sometimes painfully so."

"It wasn't all bad," queen assured. "Some good still came out of our sorrows."

"Even for Julianna?"

She pressed her hand against her husband's cheek and leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on his nose.

"Those kids are our proof. Rapunzel, Augustus, Elsa, and Anna. Little Elsie…" She searched her husband's face at the mention of the infant's name, and she could see the hesitation and doubt in his eyes. "You're still thinking about it, aren't you? The rumors."

"She looks _so much_ like her, Isabella."

"I know. But it's not our place to say anything. We had our secrets then, it's time they get to have theirs now." The queen turned her eyes to their daughter and the boys. Even grown, they all appeared as children to her. Their vibrance and laughter eased the ache in her heart a little. And that was enough.

~X~

To everyone's surprise, Anna made it to the cathedral well before the ceremony went underway. As soon as she arrived, the Archbishop pulled her and Kristoff off to the side for a quick word, and Elsa took charge of little Elsie; carrying the child in her arms as they greeted arriving guests and helped direct them to their seats. Elsie babbled and smiled toothlessly at them, all the while shaking and chewing on her rattle.

"She a splitting image of her," Elsa overheard the king of Andalasia whisper curiously to his queen as they took their seats. She turned and caught their eyes before they shamefacedly looked away, and it was clear that the visitors had been referring to herself and the infant in her arms.

 _There's has been some talk_ , the Major Archbishop had told her just a month before. _It has to do with the child…her strong likeness to you has spurred many rumors._

Elsie was now chewing on Elsa's hair and banging the rattle on her head, strings of drool dripping down the queen's long braided hair. Their resemblance was undeniable, Elsa acknowledged as she caressed her niece's rosy cheeks, but the same could also be said of her own mother, the late Queen Irene.

Scanning the dozens of face in the cathedral and listening closely to the rumble of their chatter, Elsa could hardly make out a word. But it was hard to miss the inquisitive glances that a handful of them cast their way, and she wondered if it was skepticism that she saw in their eyes or perhaps her own paranoia.

 _Many are questioning her parentage…_ _saying that she is your child, and not Princess Anna's… that the princess's marriage is a ruse to help cover for your indiscretions._

It was a strange feeling to consider that there were possibly those amongst their guests who believed her to be such a person, and Elsa wasn't sure if she should feel humiliated or infuriated, or simply indifferent.

It wasn't long before they started the ceremony. The archbishop sermoned on the inevitabilities of hellfire and damnation and ended on a prayer before he called forth the parents and godparents. Anna and Kristoff came forward before the alter, Elsie lay asleep with her head resting on her father's shoulder, her tiny hand clutching the ring held in place by the necklace she wore.

Eugene helped Rapunzel to her feet and they followed, taking the spot opposite of their cousins around the stone basin. The archbishop began yet another sermon and commanded Kristoff to hold Elsie over the basin. He did so carefully, his daughter had yet to stir awake and he did not want to startle her now. Kristoff waited for the archbishop to apply the holy waters, but instead he began a prayer, a prayer that ran for so long that Kristoff though his arms would break off and he surely would bleed out on the alter before the on looking congregation.

 _If you hurry this along, I promise to come to church more often_ , he silently pleaded.

Looking at Anna, Kristoff noticed that she hadn't seemed quite herself since she'd arrived. She hadn't said a word to Elsa, and she'd hardly spoken a word to anyone else. Even her makeup was a bit odd; her shade of lipstick darker than she'd had it earlier. Anna squeezed her lips together like she often did when she was agitated, and bit her lip.

She winced.

There was a slight mark on the curve of her bottom lip, like a cut or a bruise. Kristoff couldn't quite tell under the darker shade of lipstick. Her lips were a little swollen too, he realized. _Not like a bee sting, but fuller. Like—_

Kristoff closed his eyes.

 _It's just my imagination,_ he told himself _._ But nothing running through his thoughts could offer a better explanation.

 

_...to be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't turned out the way I had planned. I did make a few revisions since posting it to help clarity a few things. See you next time...along with jilted exes, magic mishaps, stony grandpas, and Elsa's one true love...Augustus James Hawkins. I'm sure there was a joke somewhere in that last sentence.


	11. Chapter 11

Kristoff’s prayers were answered, and he survived the ceremony without either of his arms breaking off.  The archbishop finished his long-winded sermon and baby Elsie was christened over the basin, stirring awake only after the holy waters were poured over her sleeping head.

“I baptize you, Elsa Argos Bjorgman of Arendelle,” the archbishop uttered somberly as he raised his arm and began to trace a shape of the cross in the air.  “In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit.”

Little Elsie blinked her eyes open as she gave her father a dopey and perplexed stare before she broke into a loud cry.  Her shriek resonated through the large halls, bouncing off the walls, and echoing thunderously.  Kristoff pressed her against his chest and kissed her reddening forehead, her cries growing louder even as he gently rocked her.  This seemed to jar Anna from her stupor, and she pried Elsie from Kristoff’s arms and cradled her against her chest, her husband looking on helplessly.  The infant quieted in the comforting embrace of her mother, her tiny fingers clasping possessively over the bodice of Anna’s gown.

Grand Pabbie stepped forward, each footstep clanking on the marble floors, and he slowly climbed the altar, his short legs struggling with every step.

“I wish to offer my blessing to this child,” he proclaimed as he faced the crown princess.  “May I?”

A soft murmur passed through the hall, and Anna surmised that blessings from trolls were rare in any kingdom.  She nodded, smiling softly, casting a brief searching glance into the crowd of faces from the rows of pews.  Anna bent down on one knee, permitting Grand Pabbie a better look at little Elsie.

“Such a lovely child,” he whispered to Anna as he gently stroked his stony hand over the child’s silvery blonde wisps of hair.  “I see your mother in her.  Consider it a blessing that she doesn’t take after my boy, over there.”  The old rock troll looked over at Kristoff with a playful twinkle in his eye.  Kristoff glared back.  And although the exchange was funny and endearing, Anna could not bring herself to react beyond an obligatory smile.

Turning his attention back to Elsie, Grand Pabbie cleared his throat and raised his voice for all to hear as he offered his blessing, “May this child be blessed and guarded from harm, and graced with all the gifts and virtues passed on from her parents and grandparents before her.”  He pulled open a leather pouch and took a pinch of blue powder, smudging it over Elsie’s forehead.  She gawped up at him.

“Grant this child strength, wisdom, and nobility for the roles that she must play.”  Then he leaned over and whispered into the infant’s ear, his words too softly spoken for Anna to listen in.

When he came back up, he offered a simple blessing for the parents and godparents, and the ceremony ended shortly after.

“What did he say to her?” Kristoff asked Anna as guests took their time milling out of the cathedral, many lingering near their seats, making conversation.

“I don’t know.  I couldn’t hear him.”  The look on his face was clearly eager to learn what his grandfather had whispered to his child, and while Anna suspected that it would remain a secret between Grand Pabbie and Elsie, she was far more distracted searching her eyes through the crowd once more.

“Are you looking for someone?”  Kristoff followed her gaze through the countless faces in the church.  Embarrassed, Anna tore her eyes away and mumbled a barely audible excuse that sounded more like gibberish than intelligible conversation.

A few of the guests approached Anna and Kristoff to get a closer look at little Elsie.  The infant stared curiously at her admirers, her mouth open and leaking drool.  It was the first time she had been in the presence of so many people, and she was surprisingly serene and sociable.

In many ways, Elsie’s temperament was much like Anna’s, outgoing and eager to please.  Most of the guests were able to elicit toothless smiles and laughter from the infant.  She seemed especially delighted with one of the delegates from Andalasia, a man in his forties with a large quaff of hair billowing over his forehead.  Anyone with eyes could tell that his hair was a toupee, and apparently Elsie could too.  Kristoff nearly choked on his laughter when she latched on to the delegate’s toupee and tore it off his shiny head.  Even Anna looked amused for that split second.

To Kristoff’s relief, his wife seemed a little more like herself again.  The tension in her eyes had dispelled and she reached for his arm for few instances during conversation.  It had been a habit of hers, one that had lessened over the last few months.  For a little while it made him forget about her swollen lips and his tenuous doubts, especially when Felicity Malachi approached them on the arm of the crown prince of the Southern Isles.

The girl that made her way toward them was hardly the same girl Kristoff had last seen over a year ago.  She moved with a confidence that struck him as alien to her countenance.  She stood taller, with an elegance that easily rivaled the queen of Arendelle.  Her mousy features had done away with the nervous ticks and were replaced with a haughty grace.

“Your Royal Highness,” Felicity politely greeted with a small curtsy. Her voice was firm, but soft and assured.  Anyone looking on could easily assume that she was the crown princess’ equal in every way.

“L-Lady Malachi.”

Anna was more surprised by the change.  She’d been there when Augustus broke it off with Felicity Malachi, along with several dozen spectators from the royal court.  The heartbreak been plain on her face, her cheeks flushed with tears.  It was the first time Anna had truly felt bad for ever calling Felicity the Marquis’ Shadow.

 _I’d been jealous_ , she realized, just as Augustus and Elsa caught her eyes from across the room.  He was telling her something, his arms spread out and wildly animated, and Elsa was laughing even as she pulled back a strand of hair over her ear.  Anna clenched her jaw.

_All this time, I’d been jealous of the wrong person._

_How could I not have seen it?_  Looking back at the woman before her, Anna wondered if maybe Felicity _had_ seen it.  Anna had never really understood what had transpired between those two, and she knew even less of the thing between Augustus and her own sister.  But seeing the way Augustus looked at Elsa, the way he clung to her every word and kept at her side, never more than an arm’s reach away, Anna wondered how long he’d been in love with her.

 _It’s never gonna be me, is it?_  Something bitter and familiar welled up inside her, and the throbbing in her swollen lips felt more pronounced.  The painful kiss had been her proof.

_You weren’t wrong about me.  Back then…I wanted you too._

With another glance at her sister, Anna’s entire body tensed, and a question that she dared not dwell on began to form in the back of her mind.

“Anna?”  An elbow pressed against her side, and Anna turned to Kristoff, his large brown eyes gaping her at.

“Is everything okay with you?”

She nodded, returning her attention to Felicity and the crown prince of the Southern Isles, who looked upon her with curiosity.  For the first time since they’d approached, Anna wondered why those two people, of all people, were standing together with their arms interlocked.

“Just a slight headache,” she told them, which wasn’t very far from the truth.

 _He resembles him_ , Anna thought, and she wondered if the other eleven princes of the Southern Isles shared the uncanny resemblance between Hans and the crown prince.

_God, I can’t even remember his name.  Bastian?  Baltasar?_

“Perhaps we could leave introductions for another time,” the crown prince finally spoke, as if he’d read her mind, though he hadn’t of course.  He bowed his head, preparing to leave, but Anna quickly stopped them.

“There’s really no need for that.  I’m fine. _Really_.”  She forced a smile, and the crown prince stood more visibly at ease.

“I want to express how grateful I am for your invitation,” the prince said humbly.  “After what my youngest brother did, you and your sister had every right to cut off all ties with our country.”

“He was just one man.  We couldn’t extend the blame to everyone.”

“But even one man can do a lot of harm,” he answered somberly, and Anna caught a glimpse of Augustus from the corner of her sight.

“Yes,” she agreed, her lips pursed tightly.

“But that’s not what we wanted to talk about,” Felicity interjected.  Anna still couldn’t get over how forward and confident Lady Malachi appeared to be.  “We’ll be making a formal announcement once we return to Crestmark.”

Anna’s eyes darted between the two.  “Wait, are you two—?”

“We are,” they both replied in unison.

“ _Engaged?_ ”

“Engaged,” this time it was only Felicity who answered.

“Congratulations!” Kristoff beamed widely as he shook the crown prince’s hand, then gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

Anna wavered a little, searching Felicity’s eyes even as Elsie squirmed and tugged at the green silk chiffon shawl that draped over her shoulders.   _What about Augustus?_  She wanted to ask.   _Weren’t you crazy in love with him not that long ago?_

It seemed so completely backwards, Felicity with whatever-his-name-is, and Augustus with Elsa.   _And god-only-knows what his question was, or what her answer would be._

“I’m sorry,” Anna interjected.  “I’m not feeling very well, after all.  I need to step out for some fresh air.”  Holding Elsie over to Kristoff, she added, “Can you please take her for a bit?”

She didn't wait for his reply, it wasn't really a request.  Elsie was already in his arms before Kristoff could think to respond.  Then Anna turned to Felicity and gave her an apologetic look, mumbling a quick congratulations before she hurried out the chapel, rushing past Elsa and Augustus without a second glance.  She nearly crashed into her uncle when she darted past the large double-doors, grazing his shoulder without uttering more than a soft grunt.

“It’s like Déjà vu,” King Claudius said to his wife as he watched her go.

Kristoff stared after her as well and wondered when Anna behaving strangely had become the new normal.

~X~

“Pirates?”

“Yes, real pirates,” Augustus grinned and laughed as Elsa’s eyes went wide.

“And you weren’t scared?”

“I was terrified.  They had our ship boarded, then the pirate king walked right up to Captain Amelia and threatened to hook her face with his hand.  She didn’t flinch once, but I was ready to soil my pants.”

Elsa laughed.  “Wait, his hand?”

“He had a metal hook where his hand should have been,” he explained.  “Legend has it that a crocodile bit it off.”

Despite the earnest look in his eyes, Elsa peered dubiously at him.

“Sometimes I wonder about these grand ‘stories’ of yours,” she told him, poking him playfully in the chest with her fingers.   “They sound too fantastical to be true.”

“You doubt my sincerity?”

She cocked her head at him and gave him a knowing look.  “Oh please, stories about giant whales and pirate kings?”

Augustus had a look of protest on his face.  “I’ll have you know that the whale had teeth this big,” he said, extending his arms out wide.

“Such tall tales too.”

“Tall tales?  Are you implying that I speak lies?” He replied feigning outrage.

“I think I actually said as much.”

Looking over his shoulder, she could see Anna standing next to Kristoff, holding Elsie in her arms as they spoke with woman and a man that Elsa did not recognize from behind.  For a fraction of a moment it had seemed like Anna had been looking her way.  She looked distracted, her smile pursed and tight, and not quite reaching her eyes.  Yet, her lips were redder and fuller than they’d been when she last saw her in the walk-in closet.  The memory of it lingered somewhere between a dream and a nightmare.  Casting a vacant gaze back at Augustus, Elsa couldn’t help but feel guilty and ashamed.

“It finally happened? Didn’t it?”  Augustus took her hand and gave it a firm but gentle squeeze.  The fact that he was one of just a handful of people who did not fear touching her in that way, did not escape her notice.  It always left her feeling startled and elated.  And a little breathless.  But, in a moment of confusion, she imagined that he had read her thoughts.  A notion that left her frozen in place, with her breath hitched in her throat.

“It has?”  She uttered meekly, wishing she hadn’t been so weak to her own nature. _You kissed her, you kissed her,_ the little voice inside her head taunted.   _You wanted to kiss her._

“Quite awful of you.  You’ve finally grown bored and tired of me,” Augustus chided flirtatiously.

Elsa blinked back, and before she could reply, she saw Anna blow past her, the color drained from her cheeks.

“Anna…”  The name trailed from her lips but her voice had not reached Anna’s ears, in fact her voice had barely resonated louder than a soft hum.

 _Is something wrong?_  She wanted to call out but just the sight of her left Elsa feeling tongue-tied and stupid.  

She turned toward Kristoff.  He stood firmly planted, holding onto the infant, with no apparent inclination to go after Anna.  There was something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read.  It was the look he got after he and Anna argued; never angry or indignant, just resigned.

Clenching a tight fist, she fought the instinct to go after her.

 _I’m probably the last person she wants to see right now_ , Elsa realized, as she forced her attentions back to Augustus, offering him an inviting smile.  But even as she tried to focus on him, her thoughts kept taking her back into that closet, under the mountain of dresses and to those swollen lips that consumed her like wildfire from the inside out.

“Your Majesty.  Lord Hawkins.  It’s been ages.”

Elsa heard her before she saw her.  Felicity Malachi stood behind Augustus, looking like a commissioned portrait.  Her raven locks tumbled over her shoulders in perfect curls, yet Felicity made it look effortless.  Elsa had expected the mousy invisible girl with the big eyes and the nervous smiles, but the girl standing before her was none of those things.  On the other hand, Augustus couldn’t have been more startled had she slapped him in the face.

The smile had frozen on his face, mirroring her own inward horror.

The last time Elsa had seen the heir of Crestmark, it had ended very badly.   _That’s putting it mildly._  After more than a year, she had not expected the guilt to resurface, yet it had returned like an old friend.

“Felicity,” Elsa forced herself to say.  “It’s...great to see you again.  You look so well.”

Felicity responded with a nonchalant chuckle.

“You mean compared to the last time we met?”

“I didn’t really mean--”

“It’s fine.  I’m well aware how much of a disaster I was,” Felicity assured her.  “In fact, I’m embarrassed about how I reacted back then.  About who I was.”

Elsa wanted to find comfort in Felicity’s words, as calm and detached as they were, but there was something unnerving in how perfectly calm she was.   _I’m not sure I could be so calm in her place._  But then she remembered Kristoff and Anna’s wedding and the year that followed after.  Her line of reasoning suddenly seemed quite silly.

There was still the matter of Augustus, who had yet to move.

“No words for me, James?”  Felicity said softly.  And that’s when he turned around, the stiffened dread on his face gradually dissolving.  “Or was our fallout so irreparable that you can barely dare to look me in the eyes now?”

“You know that’s not true,” Augustus answered bitter-sweetly, slipping back into that boyish surrogate older brother that Felicity remembered.

“He speaks.”

“I do.”

Looking between the two, Elsa prepared to excuse herself and perhaps give them some time to catch up and mend fences.  Although if she was honest with herself, the tension was more than she could bare.  She opened her mouth, ready with her excuse, but Felicity stopped her.

“Actually, I wanted to be the first to tell you about my engagement,” she turned and waved at someone across the room.  Elsa and Augustus exchanged a look of surprise as the crown prince of the Southern Isles made his way toward them.

Even as the handsome and brash prince approached, Elsa mentally recited through each letter of the alphabet, trying her best to remember what his name might be.  But all she could hear was Anna in her head.  She remembered the musicality in Anna’s voice as they had half-drunkenly clung to each other, laughing and whispering loudly not two years ago as they recited names.

_“Bernard?  Billy?  Bram?”  Anna had said loud enough to garner looks from a group of waiters._

_But it hadn’t sounded right to Elsa, who could barely keep her thoughts straight.  “No, no, no,” she’d slurred back.  “Maybe Bernard?  Or Bram?”_

_Anna laughed and snorted, then her eyes went wide as a light bulb went off in her head._

_“B-Babu!”_

_“Anna, the son of Estonia is not named Babu,” but Elsa couldn’t help herself from smiling._

“Broderic?”  Augustus whispered loud enough for Elsa alone to hear.

She stared back at him with a startled brow, once again rescued from her own wandering thoughts.

“I don’t think so,” Elsa mumbled back just at the crown prince joined them.  The nameless prince took Felicity’s hand and the couple beamed brightly.  _People do move on,_ Elsa thought as she watched them and exchanged yet another glance with Augustus.  _They move on and find someone new._

And the sound of Anna’s soft laughter slowly died out from her thoughts.

~X~

Yanking the chiffon shawl from her shoulder, Anna exploded into a low glottal scream. She threw the garment, relegating all of her frustrations into her arm, but the fabric was sheer and lightweight, and landed with the delicacy of a falling feather just inches from her own feet.

Another grunt, this time at her own dramatic failings.  It wasn’t enough to satisfy her bubbling frustrations.  Slipping off the braided sterling silver bracelet from her wrist, Anna wound her arm once more and flung the piece of jewelry over the rows of yellow roses in the gardens.  She didn’t see it, but she heard it clink loudly on the bronze statue right at the center of the garden, near the long walkway.

It was certainly more dramatic, but it had changed nothing.  Inside she was still the same.  Still heavy of heart, her stomach knotted and clenching, fighting against the eggs and toast she had for breakfast.

She remembered the way Elsa smiled at Augustus, girlish and flirtatious.  Elsa hadn’t been a queen in the presence of a marquis, she’d been a girl, a young woman being courted by a dashing suitor.  And Anna had no right to stand between that.

 _You can’t lose something you never had,_ she cynically reminded herself, but the contents of that stupid letter came back her.  Then gracelessly she leaned over and retched all over a cluster of orange and yellow tulips.

_...to be continued..._


	12. Chapter 12

_Eighteen Months Ago_

_The Festival of Lights, Corona Palace_

"Are you in love with her?" Her lips trembled as she struggled to get the words out. She was drenched from head to toe, a puddle of water already forming on the stone floors where she stood.

Augustus tried to answer her. He wanted to assuage her fears with a lie, and tell her exactly what her panicked eyes hoped he would say. But when he tried to speak, the single word got caught in his throat. And in that moment he knew that she knew. His silence had been as good as affirmation.

"I'm sorry, Felicity," he whispered hoarsely.

Wet and shivering as she was, he could tell that she was crying. Mascara streaked down her pallid cheeks, and a small tremulous sob escaped her, resounding painfully off the walls of the enclosing buildings.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated. There were no other words he could say. Not unless he wished to give her false hope.

She was crying openly now, her brows twisted with heartbreak, her eyes gleaming as tears spilled endlessly. A half a dozen pairs of eyes had already turned their way, and Augustus remembered that they were standing in the middle of the plaza for the whole world to see. Glancing up at the higher rising buildings, he noticed more curious eyes looking their way from up above.

"Come on, let's go back to the castle and get you dry," Augustus said as he took hold of Felicity by her slender elbow, tugging gently. But her eyes went wild, and she suddenly pulled away.

"No!" She practically screamed. The sound of her voice echoed loudly, and a startled flock of pigeons took to flight. "No."

"Everyone's watching," he whispered loud enough for her alone to hear. "Don't do this."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" She bitterly replied, startling him.

"I don't want you to say or do anything you might regret." He had such a morose and pitiful look on his face. Felicity could see that he truly felt for her. And it made her heartbreak sting that much more.

"What about you, James? What is it that you regret most?" She almost didn't want to know the answer, but she had to ask. "Is it me?"

"Never," he answered, the look of pity never leaving him. "You're very dear to me."

"But not as dear as she is to you,right? You don't love me the way you love her."

She wanted him to refute her words. As pointless as it was to cling to that shred of hope, that he might change his mind and choose her instead, Felicity held on, even if was just to grasp a glimmer of doubt or hesitation in his eyes. But it never came.

"No," he answered in resignation, clenching his jaw as his gaze dropped to the paved stone beneath them. "I don't."

"But maybe, someday, you cou—"

"I'm sorry, but no," was his definitive response as he unflinchingly looked into her eyes. He owed her as much. "The kind of love that you want from me…It would have happened by now. And although I do love you, truly, genuinely love you, my love for you is the love a brother bears for his little sister. I can't be anything more than that to you."

Augustus cupped his hands over her cheeks and wiped away her tears. He knew from the defeated look in her eyes, that he had likely crushed any hope she might have had for something more between them. Sometimes, the cruelty of truth was the only way to put an end to things. And that day marked the beginning of the end. Of so many things.

_I really am a bastard._

~X~

_The Present_

She wanted to hate him. Every time Augustus turned to meet the Queen's gaze, a soft involuntary smile glistened in his eyes. He was like a smitten school boy, bursting with eager zeal, and not at all conscientious of the ranks and titles that constrained him. And yet, that was probably what irked Felicity the most. Even with a prince latched onto her arm, sharply dressed in his royal imperial garments, and oozing charm with dignified repose, her heart was decidedly empty of feelings for him.

But not for Augustus. There was rage, there was bitterness, and a festering misery that had burrowed its way into the deepest parts of herself. And there was also heartache.

 _I hate you,_ she longed to say even as he looked her way with his broad charismatic smile. More than anything, she wanted to believe that.

" _Love is for fools, child,"_  Her mother had drilled over and over into her head.  _"Marriage isn't about love. It's about power. Strategy. Marry for love and you've rendered yourself weak. And the Dragons of Crestmark are anything but."_

_I don't want to be weak._

And yet, with one glance Felicity's heart wavered. Everytime Augustus spoke, his voice was like a magnetic draw, pulling at invisible strings that she'd never been able to sever.

"I must say, I'm surprised that there hasn't been a betrothal announcement for the two of you yet," Felicity interjected in the middle of Augustus' animated rendition of his recent nautical expedition. The Queen's shoulders stiffened and a smile froze on her face. Augustus looked away in embarrassment, nervously combing his fingers through his hair.

"People have better things to do than dwell on idle gossip," Augustus answered. "Speculation about my personal life is hardly interesting to anyone."

At that, the prince of the Southern Isles raised a dubious brow.

"Not to sound terribly self-important, but it's pretty safe to say that any tidbit of news relating to any one of us can easily headline newspapers and explode on the gossip scene," the prince remarked. "Especially if those rumors have to do with certain connections to other royals," he went on, intentionally avoiding eye contact with Elsa.

"There was a peculiar one about Your Grace's sister," Felicity remarked offhandedly, unintentionally touching upon the last thing Elsa wanted brought up in conversation.

Elsa eyed Lady Malachi carefully before making her own cautious reply. "Considering Anna's neurotic ways, it's only appropriate that she would arm gossipers with so much ammunition. It wouldn't surprise me if most of those rumors had some basis in truth." She laughed stiffly, encouraging laughter from the others.

"We deny nothing," Augustus joked. "I'll say  _'No comment'_  to all, and pour out the good wine to change the subject."

"Unless of course, those  _Virgin Queen_  rumors have some truth to them as well," Felicity said flippantly as she grabbed a glass of wine from an approaching waiter, and took a long sip. "You'd probably have to bring out a barrage of suitors to make  _those_  disappear." She was dimly aware of the color that drained from Elsa's face, and the startled look that flickered in Augustus's eyes. Her own fiancé was at a loss for words and chose to ignore the awkward silence that had befallen them with a second serving of champagne.

"Have any of you seen Anna?" A breathless Kristoff asked, breaking the silence as he appeared beside Augustus, a bleary-eyed Elsie yawning in his arms. There was a nervous cadence in his voice that he was unable to mask, but if anyone noticed, he couldn't see it on their faces.

"Not...not since she ran off earlier," Elsa replied evenly, but something in the way she said it, the muted strain in her voice and the stony look in her eyes, made the hairs on his neck stand on end.

" _Ran off?_ " Augustus parroted. "What'd she run off for?"

"She just forgot something," Kristoff answered distantly, never taking his eyes off Elsa.

"Probably off starting another round of rumors," Felicity remarked facetiously with a dismissive wave of her hand, and while it elicited an uneasy wave of laughter, Augustus remained unmoved.

"We can't all be mice cowering in a corner," he remarked tersely, locking eyes with Felicity. The smug confidence on her face faltered, and she looked away.

"You quote my mother so well," she said after a pause, but the mirth in her words were as fake as the tight smile on her face.

The prince of the Southern Isles looked back and forth between them, confused by the Marquise's hard prolonged stare.

"Am I missing something?" The prince wondered out loud.

And Kristoff wondered the same thing as Elsa pressed a thumb over her bottom lip, a sickening feeling briefly clenching his stomach as something unintelligible flickered in and out of his thoughts.

"Just some friendly banter," Felicity replied, sipping the last of her wine. She set her empty glass in her fiance's hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

"The friendliest," Augustus quipped, but the look on his face was difficult to read.

"Well I think I've had a bit too much to drink," Felicity said as she pressed a hand against her chest, before excusing herself from the group in favor of some fresh air. Her prince took a step forward, ready to accompany her, but she stopped him, pressing a hand on his arm. "I'm not feeling myself right now. I promise I won't be long."

She didn't have to look back to know that Augustus and Elsa were relieved to see her go. It was evident by the tension that had evaporated from their faces as she'd turned to leave them. Left with no audience to take in her performance, Felicity discarded the suffocating haughty armor and was herself once more. A girl that could never be the dragon her mother wished for, nor the woman Augustus desired.

_You're just a mouse; cowering in a corner, waiting for the cat to tear you to bits._

~X~

_Breathe deep._

Fifteen minutes of searching, and Anna still hadn't found the bracelet. She knew it had struck the oversized statue, but it could have bounced off anywhere, and it didn't help that she was completely distracted.

_Exhale._

Anna counted backwards from ten, her thoughts briefly emptied by the white noise of the water pouring down the stone water fountain on the north end of the garden. When she ended her count she started from ten again, reciting each number with long intervals, timed by the duration of each intake of breath. This time, when her count came to an end, the nauseating nerves in the pit of her stomach had transformed into a subdued anger.

"I have every right to be angry!" She shouted defensively up at the bronze statue. "She freakin' bit me!"

It still hurt. The cut on her lip was concealed under a layer of red lipstick, as bright as the anger brewing on her face. But as angry as she wanted to be at Elsa, Anna was mostly angry at herself. "Just like two ships passing each other in the dark," she muttered bitterly to herself.  _That's what we are._

A familiar sting settled in her eyes urging the onset of tears, but she grit her teeth and resolved not to cry.  _Not tonight. Not now._

Anna could not afford to give into another moment of weakness. She had already humiliated herself with her unwanted confession in the walk-in closet, and didn't care to draw further attention to herself with whispers of swollen red eyes and smudged makeup. In a little more than a day she would be secluded away at her uncle's estate with Kristoff and Elsie, and she would have a hundred rooms she could disappear to. A hundred rooms to hide in, away from Kristoff and any prying eyes; where she could wallow in misery to her heart's content.

She sucked in another shaky breath before slowly exhaling.

" _Self control_. Don't fall apart  _just yet_." There was desperation in those words, and it surprised Anna to realize that as much as they mirrored her own feelings at that very moment, she was not the one to make that utterance.

It was Felicity Malachi who had spoken, her voice trembling as she cut across the garden, distress painted all over her face. She moved taking brisk and nervous strides, but with enough self awareness to pull up the hem of her long dress as she treaded over the damp grass.

There was something pitiable in the anguished eyes of Felicity Malachi, but more than that, Anna saw someone that shared the same ache that she did. And for once, it occurred to her that perhaps they were not so different.

Felicity slowed to a stop as she approached the statue near the center of the garden, resting her shaking hands against the soft bronze. Anna considered calling out to her, but shrunk away into the shadows when she heard a second set of footsteps trespass into the gardens.

" _What was that all about back there_?" Augustus demanded as he came up behind Felicity. There was no mistaking the anger in his voice.

Felicity's shoulders stiffened and she slowly dropped her hands to her sides. Anna guiltily tore her gaze away and slumped to the ground, pressing her back against a wide stone pillar, hoping her intrusion would not be discovered.

"It was a joke," Felicity answered meekly, and Anna cringed from where she sat.

"Like  _hell_ , it was!" Augustus snapped back.

"Yes! Yes,  _it was_! Except the joke was  _me_!" Felicity whipped around, taking a step forward as she raised her voice, her face twisted up with anger. Augustus took a startled step back, too stunned to offer a response.

"You have nothing to say about that?" Felicity pressed on. "Is the  _great Lord Hawkins_  finally at a loss for words?" In spite of the sarcasm dripping from her words, she could not conceal the sadness that spilled out of her, from her voice and down to the smallest flicker of her eyelashes. Augustus knew her too well not to take notice.

"Felicity, are you still—?"

" _No!"_ She recoiled. " _I_ — _I'm not_."

_I'm not in love with you._

But her protest had been nothing more than affirmation for Augustus, and his anger gave way to compassion. Felicity could see the shift in his eyes, the kindness that was all too familiar, and inevitably painful.

"Still? All this time?"

"It's pathetic, isn't it?" She laughed bitterly, resigned to her own transparency. "If my mother could see me now."

"Don't say that."

"Why? It wouldn't make it any less true. Want to hear something even more pathetic?" Felicity paused, long enough to feel the nervous tremors inside her chest ride up and down her spine before daring to say the words she knew she shouldn't.

"I would take you back, if you would have me."

"Felicity—"

" _I would_."

Augustus reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. A familiar look passed over his eyes, and Felicity felt cold and sick. She knew what was coming. It was as plain as the pity and remorse that lingered on his face.

"Nothing has changed," he replied, releasing her hand. "I love someone else."

And there was her answer.

"Are you going to marry her?" she pried, all the while wondering why she felt compelled to pick at scabs that had not fully healed after nearly two years.

"It's complicated," he answered, hesitant to say more, but Felicity could still not let it die there, even as she began to regret where she was steering the conversation.

"Does she even love you?"

"I don't know." Augustus could have been lying to spare her, Felicity could see the truth of his words in his eyes. And she hated him for it.

"She might not choose you," she insisted, her desperation bleeding through every syllable.

"It doesn't matter."

 _It didn't matter._  Felicity had grown up chasing his coattails, finding comfort in his embrace, in the calloused fingers that tenderly brushed away her tears, the soft spoken voice that eased her nightmares and the sting of her mother's reproach, yet she couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever mattered to him at all.

"When  _does_  it matter? My love doesn't matter, and maybe hers doesn't either. But you still choose to push your way where you might not be wanted?  _Why is that?_  When you could just choose me—"

" _Because you don't choose who you love!"_

A pregnant silence fell over them, filling all the empty spaces between them. And his words rippled in her heart, echoing a thousand times over. But it didn't end there, he needed to kill it once and for all; hammer the final nail in the coffin.

"It could've been just the two of us for a hundred years," he told her in a slow and deliberate way, as patience finally left him. "And I still would never have loved you."

There was no pity or kindness this time, no uneasy guilt, or apologetic looks. He was simply gone.

Felicity didn't move. She stared vacantly at a cluster of bright pink tulips, inattentive to the silvery gleam of Anna's discarded bracelet as it refracted bits of light on her face. Then slowly, she slumped down onto the grass, and tried to remember to breathe.

Sensing a change, Anna quietly rose to her feet, feeling quite stunned as she tried to process what she'd just overheard. She kept hidden behind the pillar, noting how much like a glass figurine Lady Malachi appeared to be. Something in Felicity's frazzled eyes tempted Anna to call out to her; eyes that haunted her like shining shimmering shards in a pool of glittering tears.

He's going to ask her, Anna realized, staring off into the direction that Augustus had disappeared to. _If he hasn't asked her yet, I'm sure he will soon._  Anna couldn't dismiss the intimate letters he'd sent Elsa, or how she'd spent nights wide awake staring up at the ceiling wondering what what sort of replies Elsa had written him in return.

 _'I'm still waiting for your answer,'_  his letter had read, offering no more than horrifying speculation to what the question might have been. Anna heard Felicity's questions to Augustus replay in her head. His answer had been like a dagger in the heart.  _'It's complicated'_  had not been a yes, but it was hardly a no.

 _He loves her and maybe she feels that same for him._  Anna dug her fingernails into the pillar, ignoring the throbbing in her fingers, until there was nothing but numbness.

Felicity had yet to make a sound and her face remained frozen in a vacant stare, but tears now spilled freely over her cheeks. It would have been so easy for Anna to say her name and give her some words of comfort. Just a few syllables.

Anna wanted to. But she didn't. Her stomach twisted and lurched, riding the monster that fueled all the envy and rage that coursed through her veins. The same monster that had seized her heart the moment she had stumbled upon those letters.  _Those damned letters._

Like Augustus before her, Anna wordlessly walked away, and Felicity was left to her tears; pain curling into anger, shaping into a hot embittered flame. And the discarded bracelet was forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My busy life and chaotic schedule have kept me from updating frequently. Next chapter will be longer and recenter focus on Elsa and Anna.


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